Mom guilt, formula vs breastmilk - 1st week home

hannah_ftm · September 2022

We’re only four days postpartum & I’m trying to exclusively pump (that was my plan anyway). But I’m already feeling very overwhelmed and having a hard time mental health-wise with the discomfort and time commitment of pumping. I’m unsure how I’m going to keep it up when my husband goes back to work. I feel like I’m giving up too early, but I’m considering switching to formula already to ease up on the stress, which makes me feel guilty.

Any tips, advice, suggestions would be greatly appreciated. /:

oldmom5 · September 2022

Fed is best. Do what works best for your family. There should not be any guilt associated with feeding your baby. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. Talk kindly to yourself. A fed baby is goal. A healthy mom is the goal. Breast or formula, they’re both ok.

knottieb1016ec5d86ec516 · September 2022

Don't feel guilty mama! Keeping your sanity and your babe fed are priority, regardless of how those things happen. Try mixing half formula and half breast milk in your bottles so you don't have to pump as much, but your baby is still getting the benefits of your breast milk. My plan was to exclusively breastfeed, but I don't produce enough so I also use formula. I mainly breastfeed, but mix half sand half to supplement throughout the day. Hope this helps!

knottieea2422abbe46f593 · September 2022

The formula guilt is real. Try to not be hard on yourself. 4 days postpartum is an extremely stressful time. I found that when I finally gave myself permission to use formula, my mental health was drastically improved! Thus I became a better, happier mom to baby. Do what is best for you and your family. :)

knottiea5a7666811bbf225 · September 2022

I felt guilty too and then someone gave me the advice that if you’re stressed and unhappy then the baby isn’t getting the best version of you. There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Formula feeding is perfectly wonderful and your baby will grow and mature wonderfully regardless of how you feed him/her. You’re doing great and do why works for your emotional and mental well-being.

swizzlemalarkey · September 2022

My son had issues latching in the beginning so I did a mix of BF, pumping, and bottle feeding formula. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. I was fully committed to BF but I came close to stopping multiple times when it was very painful. I don’t think he was exclusively BF until he was a little over 2 months old and I still supplemented with formula occasionally when I had to leave him with someone. when I went back to work I did half pumped milk/half formula because I couldn’t pump that often. Whatever you feel most comfortable with is good.

lilswed · September 2022

I did Pumping only for my daughter for 9 months- if I could go back - I would quit and spend more time bonding with her- destroyed my mental health- do what you can - but don’t feel guilted in to it or any less of an excellent mom if you need to stop- fed is best - a healthy mom is needed.

pdxav8rx · September 2022

I know exactly how you feel! The GUILT. I tried doing both but was beyond exhausted and not producing anything within practicality. It sucked. But she was growing perfectly fine on formula only. Once I ditched the pump (I felt such guilt over seeing it, taunting me and my “inadequacy”) and just said F it, I’m just giving her formula, I felt an overwhelming freedom and relief. My OBGYN supported it and her pediatrician says she’s PERFECTLY healthy and hitting all targets. 11 weeks in and it’s the best decision I made.

Asha47110 · October 2022

I about killed myself trying to breastfeed and pump for the first two and a half weeks. Baby had tummy aches, I was exhausted, in pain, and had literally no down time between feeding and pumping. I got mastitis and getting super sick was the last straw. I was so guilty stopping but I can’t tell you how much easier life is, how much more I’ve bonded with baby and his tummy is actually better on formula. He’s growing and healthy. My pediatrician said the benefits of breastfeeding for baby were a bit exaggerated- that it’s more important having a sane and healthy mom.

ashnicell · November 2022

With my first, I stopped BFing and pumping at about 2 weeks and felt super guilty. I wish I hadn't felt so guilty. It's sooo hard! This time we're 2 days in and despite baby having a good latch, I'm still sore and exhausted exclusively BFing. I also wish DH didn't feel so useless when I'm the one having to be up every hour or 2 feeding. The lactation consultant I've been working with made a point to remind me the first week is the hardest, especially while you're still waiting for mature milk to come in and supply to pick up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing or switching.

Personally, I would try supplementing first and making an appt with a lactation consultant before deciding to stop completely. But ultimately, no choice is wrong as long as baby is fed and your mental health isn't suffering.

Hang in there mama!

knottie5538b82c099cecdf · November 2022

I am so thankful to read this thread. I am 6 days in and have been trying to feed our baby every 2 hours during the day... bilirubin combined with weight loss premie. I had an unplanned c section after my body wouldn't move past 5cm dilation and felt like I had failed childbirth. The only thing left where I felt like my body could work is breaet feeding but it has been impossible. I had incomplete guidance and advice in the hospital so found a private lactation consultant. She has been great but this is just not doable. I have been holding on for too long feeling against the clock and running out of donated milk. Today is the first day I have felt like letting breast feeding go and I feel mentally so much better. We are using formula and my baby is doing so much better. Thank you all for sharing.

alogsdon10 · December 2022

This is is exactly how I am feeling! My baby is 6 days old and the breast feeding is taking its toll on me! I didn’t get enough supply for my first baby!! And this is seeming to be about the same!! She lost weight so we have to supplement and yet I am still feeling so exhausted with how many hours I am consuming feeding and feeling like I am losing all the bonding time with her! I am to give up bf but I’m torn

brittybluemama · December 2022

I’ve been struggling with the same guilt. I came home with my twins and was pumping and trying to breast feed but my anxiety was getting so bad. I felt stuck to the pump and like there wasn’t enough time between feedings to do everything I needed to do and pumping just stressed me out. I was resisting formula at first out of guilt but eventually had to add it because the stress seemed to stop my supply in its tracks. I’m still so stressed to admit I mostly use formula now and I’m so confused about how to increase my breast milk supply when I barely have time to think about hydrating and eating enough to get my supply up. The stress is real. I wish the lactation consultant would call me back so I could figure this out but even when they do idk how I’d make the appointments considering I don’t drive and my partner had to go back to work immediately. Im hoping others are doing better with the process than I am, I just don’t know how other twin moms can feed both babies by the breast and wish I had some tips.

megdvo · December 2022

I am so happy this thread exists. I am 4 days pp and my baby has been NON-STOP at the boob, it’s exhausting. This morning, I decided I needed to try and pump to make it easier for the nighttime when I’ve been up for hours on end, feeding and then trying to put her down, for her to instantly start crying, immediately rooting, feeding again, and then repeating over and over again until we were both crying and the sun was coming up.

After pumping, throughout at 12 hour period, I’ve produced 1oz of milk. I know it takes time for your milk to come in but I was genuinely worried about how much food she was receiving considering she constantly seems malcontent after a feeding and has not pooped in 24 hours.

After much contemplation, she has received her first formula bottle and I’m happy to say she is happy as a lark, fed and content. I’m really happy we decided to give it a go.

jessmaxwell · December 2022

Oh my gosh, I’m in the exact same boat! I’m 8 days postpartum and am not producing enough milk to keep her fed. My doctor suggested giving her a bit of formula (like an appetizer), then letting her breastfeed, and finish the bottle, if she’s still hungry. A 3-course meal!
I hope everyone finds a method that works for you - like one poster said, fed is best!

knottie7eb6786826f13660 · February 2023

First off, don’t be hard on yourself! You just brought a whole human into this world and the hormones that come afterward are the absolute worst. Second, breastfeeding/pumping is HARD. We tallied it the other day and I spend about 6 hours on average feeding this little guy. When I first started I was only getting a couple of mL’s of milk, my nipples hurt like crazy, and I was beyond frustrated because the kid wouldn’t even latch. I got some medela lanolin cream for the nipples and it helped so so much. I’m almost 4 weeks in now and don’t really need to use it anymore as they have toughened up. I use a nipple shield for baby to latch - he will sometimes do it without but it’s much easier to just use the shield. Now I also make between 60 and 100 mL of milk per session. I would also recommend talking to a lactation specialist - they can tell you if baby is latching correctly or they can check that your pumps flanges are fitting you correctly. Third, if you truly feel like you’re more frustrated and anxious than you can handle, switch to the bottle. There is absolutely no shame in it! Being a mom is hard, and having those extra worries on top of it all isn’t worth it. Best of luck! <3

Mom guilt, formula vs breastmilk - 1st week home

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