PGAL Check-in w/o 2/20

runningyogimama · February 2023

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). Thread will have discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc.

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Weeks/EDD?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

runningyogimama · February 2023

Weeks/EDD? 10w 5d / 9/14

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Physical - EXHAUSTED! I feel like I could sleep forever this week (and wish I could!). I was exhausted before, but more so this week.
Emotionally, a little bit better after yesterday’s appt, and will feel even better once NIPT results are back.

Any appointment updates?
Had bloodwork for NIPT taken yesterday and an extra ultrasound. Baby was actually measuring a bit ahead, which none of my babies ever have at any ultrasound, ever, haha (we are short people on both sides of our family), but more importantly, trisomy babies are small for gestational age, and while my OB said it’s too early to take an official NT measurement, based on what she’s seeing right now, baby’s is perfectly normal and not even borderline like my daughter’s was at this point, and she has absolutely zero concerns (but understands mine). Having one baby with a trisomy doesn’t put you at any higher risk of it happening again, but…when you’ve been the 1 in a very small number once, it’s hard not to worry about it happening again. My NT scan is 3/6, and I should have NIPT results before then.

Any big milestones? If NIPT comes back okay and everything in the NT scan is normal, we kind of just need to decide when to announce/tell anyone at all. That same day, to get it out there? Past 14 weeks, when we found out something was wrong last time? Past 17/18 weeks, when we lost our daughter? We were so unsupported losing our daughter by our families, we haven’t been in a hurry to even tell our families yet, as I just can’t deal with their emotions. But I also do want to share with people…PGAL is just so hard.

Rants/Raves/Questions?

wanderlustsoul · February 2023

@runningyogimama also soooo exhausted here. It hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend. I feel perpetually tired and ready to sleep. We went for brunch on Sunday and I was dozing at the table. 😅

rainbow_mama_920 · February 2023

Weeks/EDD?

10 tomorrow- 9/20

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Tired! Last week was so drained and asleep within the hour after my 2 year old went to bed lol. Otherwise still a little queasy and turned off by some smells, boobs not AS sore but hello veins- which was similar to my son, and cautiously optimistic! (MMC in Nov 22 @ 8.5/9w)

Any appointment updates?

Good first US at 2/9- strong heartbeat, measured a little small but tech also had LMP 10 days late, OB wasn't concerned. Had a good first appt with him and set me up with a second US for peace of mind next week (to reassure me till next appt when we'll start hearing the heartbeat there). Will do NIPT this weekend.

Any big milestones?

First US at 9 last time is when we realized we had twins (and were going to lose them

) so getting past a good first US was huge for us. Told my boss who is due next month as an FYI but holding off with the rest of the team & "the world" until next round of tests and 12 weeks

Rants/Raves/Questions?
As PP said, PGAL is tough. Trying to stay positive for self, hubby and this little one, but still get little twinges of, I guess it could be jealousy, for all the early announcements I hear and/or moms to be who have the luxury of just getting to be excited - would never wish the pain of loss on a worst enemy, but wish we could just be free of worry, too 💗 sending love to you all!

runningyogimama · February 2023

@rainbow_mama_920 I have a lot of jealousy for those who easily announce early, and am super triggered by announcements with such sure wording…it must be nice not to have to have this deep of worry all the time. Like you said, I wouldn’t wish it on them, but still feels so unfair.

@wanderlustsoul I was (am) seriously so tired this morning, if I hadn’t had meetings all morning, I would have considered calling in to work and just sleeping. 😴

froggerblue · February 2023

@runningyogimama @rainbow_mama_920 I think I understand what you mean as I'm not into "making a show out of it" kind of announcements. But when you say "announcement", do you mean "tell anyone", or "tell everyone"?

From this point, it's more of a rant about telling some choice people and feeling alone. Feel free to skip it .
This is a touchy subject for me. I never told anyone when I was pregnant before and went through the early losses alone with my husband. The fourth broke me. It was my shortest pregnancy (only six weeks), but it hit me so hard. Personally, this time I couldn't not tell anyone. I told my sisters and my mother (as we are really close) and two/three really close friends quite early this time. They all already new we've been trying for years now. But I lived through all my previous losses alone with my husband because I thought I should wait for that common early miscarriage period to pass. I am not strong enough to go through a loss feeling alone again. I don't think I will ever "announced" my pregnancy on social media or an event as it's not really my style, but I still confirm it if anyone asks directly. I'm just bad at lying anyway.

runningyogimama · February 2023

@froggerblue I’m so sorry you had to go through multiple losses alone.

For me, by announce, I mean to anyone. Our families showed just how much they couldn’t even be there for us after a 17 week loss, so I knew they would provide even less support after an earlier loss (which I did have right before this). The only ones I’ve told at all about this pregnancy are my M14 BMB, because they actually showed up for me during and after my previous loss. While I understand telling early for support (and we’ve always told our families earlier before this), I learned our families won’t be there to support us during a loss, yet want to celebrate a living baby, and I just cannot deal with that.

rainbow_mama_920 · February 2023

@froggerblue - so sorry you've had to endure that pain, and more than once! We shared with family early with my 1st (we got pregnant right before my wedding, it was small early covid time so people would know something was up) so did the same with the second.

On one hand it was hard telling people about the loss, but it was also cathartic to be able to talk about it and have people close to us (work included) understand what we were going through. The pity is hard, but if it happens you suffer regardless so it's kind of 6/one half dozen the other.

I'm referring to any kind of "announcement". This time though I'm feeling more reserved, so I guess it's more that I don't like that feeling of tempering my own excitement for this baby, feel like it's not fair to them either.

anniemarie887 · February 2023

@wanderlustsoul @runningyogimama MH was kind and let me sleep in both days this weekend, managed to get like 10 hours each night, and then i've made a serious effort to put the phone away and get 8 hours sun and mon. it is def helping me. i still can't put coffee back in my diet bc of heartburn, so sleep is my only remedy.
@rainbow_mama_920 congrats on getting past that first u/s. i know all the feelings you describe
@froggerblue this is my 5th pregnancy and I have one living child, 3 losses after her birth. We’ve always told people early on. Good, bad, ugly. That’s what family and friends are for. Not everyone knows how to handle it, but I hope maybe some of them learned? This pregnancy is actually the longest we’ve kept quiet from siblings and bigger social circles. At this point our parents and very close friends know. With my daughter I didn’t put anything on social media until I was 6 months and at that point unable to hide a belly in the summer. I am not into over the top social media posts or gender parties. But that’s just me!!

Weeks/EDD? 9/13 - 10w6d

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Emotionally, ok. Last weeks appointment went well. We’ve passed all prior losses. I think maybe starting to breathe? Physically, exhausted, heartburn, intermittent nausea. I’m done with vaginal progesterone and the bloat has gone down which is nice. I was really uncomfortable in my clothes.

Any appointment updates? Love how at the top of everything is says “advanced maternal age”. Gee, thanks. 3/6 for NIPT and NT scan.

Any big milestones? Yes, past all prior losses. Continuing to measure ahead of LMP!!

Rants/Raves/Questions? Natm

runningyogimama · February 2023

@anniemarie887 My OB’s office uses the label “elderly multigravada” on all notes. 👵🏻

babysavvy · February 2023

Weeks/EDD? 11w3d, 9/9

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’m feeling… a lot. Physically my morning sickness comes and goes with a vengeance. I do something as simple as sneeze or walk to the kitchen and gag and slobber. I can’t stand in the kitchen for long without leaning on the counter. Just tired and miserable most days. (Super anxious when I’m feeling well and miserable when I’m not. The trauma is real.) It’s surprisingly gotten better but it still interferes with my daily routines and I’m used to doing so much on my own.

Any appointment updates? 2/27 12w OB and 2/28 NIPT.

Any big milestones? Every day now is a milestone, but nothing major otherwise.

Rants/Raves/Questions? My OB prefers the term “advanced maternal age.” Lol. In the past they called it a geriatric pregnancy. My birthday is this weekend. It feels like another day. It’s all such a blur with this pregnancy.

froggerblue · February 2023

@runningyogimama I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. I can't fathom how hard that must have been to trust your family and how they let you down when you needed them. This makes me so angry. I know it's a personal choice, but I wouldn't feel comfortable telling them either to be honest. Still, even if you received all the support you needed, it would have been perfectly fine not to tell anyone if it was what you wanted.

@rainbow_mama_920 Thank you for sharing your experience. I think telling anyone or not telling can be different with each pregnancy and that's okay. I chose not to tell four times before and I still think it was the right choice 3 out of those 4 times. (I'm not even sure I had much of a choice for that fourth one though. And I didn't feel that being alone was that much of a problem before that.) It just wasn't the right choice for me this time.

I think it's an emotional subject for most of us and I'm glad we could share our different perspectives and experiences.

Knottie1457919018 · February 2023

This is 5th pregnancy and hopefully 3rd living baby. I had 2 losses last year a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks and an ectopic at 6 weeks. I had my 7 week ultrasound on Valentine’s Day and saw the baby with a 158HR. I’m very sick. I always have horrible first trimesters. Nausea 24/7 and some vomiting daily. I am great full for it but it’s exhausting having 2 toddlers in the mix. We have only told family and will probably wait until further along to tell others.

rainbow_mama_920 · February 2023

🤗

froggerblue · February 2023

Weeks/EDD? 9w6d / September 20

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Exhausted, stressed but kind of relieved also?

Any appointment updates? Not an appointment per say, but ER obgyn confirmed the baby to be 9w5d yesterday. So right on point with my conception date.

Any big milestones? Not this week.

Rants/Raves/Questions? I had quite a fright earlier this week and although I'm relieved, I still feel emotionally and physically exhausted.

sdunstan · February 2023

Weeks/EDD? 12 weeks, 2 days

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Finally getting sick which is a relief but also SO confusing . Though we did find out we’re having our first boy so that could be why I haven’t been very sick like usual.

feeling like the next month will be our hardest. We lost our last baby at 14 weeks but didn’t know until 16 and we have no scheduled US until 20 weeks so waiting and hoping for the next four is going to be retry emotional. Our due date for last baby is also next week and my birthday is right after and I don’t even want to celebrate because she was supposed to be here for this birthday.

Any appointment updates?

Have my 12 week US Thursday 02/23. Nervous right now.

Any big milestones?
none right now.

Rants/Raves/Questions?
I feel the not announcing. We’ve been so quiet this time and kept it to just the people were closest to.

All your stories make me tear up. So many brave mamas on this thread, thank you for being open and vulnerable. Praying for all your babies.

sdunstan · February 2023

@froggerblue I’m so sorry you had a scare. ER drs can be brutal to deal with, too, but I’m glad baby is doing good.

froggerblue · February 2023

@sdunstan thank you for your support. The doctor that was in charge in the night was brutal, but to the one that provided the results in the morning was really kind. Maybe he saw how terrified I was, but he said it was a good thing I came to the ER. I felt so validated I started crying.

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