Finally weaning my almost 2 year old and it’s been a roller coaster. I removed all feeds except around bedtime once I got pregnant and waited until after traveling for the holidays to wean completely. She’s doing well overall, it’s day 5, but yesterday I could feel her anger. I know it’s part of the grieving process and am trying to be there for her and show her love through it. But I had to leave the room when she hit me, then I drew the line and she went to scratch me. She’s not a hitter so this is new to the weaning process. When she woke up from that nap I read her the book on weaning again and sobbed. She’s such a sweet mama’s girl so this is really hard.
I was scared my first time too. One thing that helped me was hearing birth stories. I like the Birth Hour podcast and read them in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth book. Also, Ina May’s approach is really uplifting and positive all around. My husband said he noticed a difference in me after reading her book and watching the documentary on her called Birth Story. You’re going to do amazing!!
One of the moms in a local mom group I joined just had her baby and she was born with a congenital heart defect. I'm so sad and scared for her and also anxious about my own baby. I try not to think about complications happening but it's a real possibility 😔
I literally just had a panic attack. I'm totally freaking out. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I had given up hope on ever being a mom, this was a surprise pregnancy. I'm 24 weeks, and I feel like I'm totally losing control. I am so scared to be a mom. What if I let her down? What if I'm not capable of doing this? The pregnancy is going fast and she will be here before I know it and I don't know what to do. We don't have anything for her yet. I don't know how we will get everything we need. I am scared. I've never been so scared in my life.
@spankydoodle22 I don't have much advice, as this is also my first pregnancy. But I can empathize with some of the anxiety and overwhelm. I also haven't had time to get anything ready for this baby - no registry, no nursery, not even a proper maternity wardrobe to wear to work!
In an attempt to address my own version of panic, I recently downloaded the Expectful app for daily pregnancy meditation. I am also considering a therapist/counselor with experience and special interest in working with people through pregnancy and motherhood.
People tell me that you just figure it out as you go. I hope that is true. Take care of yourself!
@spankydoodle22 I think feeling unprepared to be a parent as a first time mom is pretty normal. It is a huge life change! I would ask yourself, what would make you feel more relaxed right now? Would it be picking out a crib? Or taking a newborn care class? Whatever is at the top of your stress list, address that first and take it one thing at a time.
@spankydoodle22 I agree, the questions you are asking yourself have gone through every new mom's mind at some point. When my daughter was a baby I remember thinking, "What have I gotten myself into?" Even now I sometimes think "I hope I'm not screwing her up" and "Am I *really* doing my best right now?" One of the most challenging parts of parenting for me is that it's a constant emotional roller coaster: so in addition to the scary thoughts and moments, there are moments of joy right around the corner. It's exhausting But if the thoughts of dread persist after your baby is born and they're so severe that they affect your ability to care for her, definitely talk to a mental health professional. You CAN do this; it really is just that hard sometimes. In regards to the supplies you need for her, consider how some women don't know they're pregnant until the day they deliver. I knew someone in high school who got pregnant and didn't tell anyone except her grandmother, so her baby had to sleep in a sock drawer for a few days until they bought a crib. In some countries, baby showers are not held until after the baby is born. All of these families manage to get what they needed! Do you know if anyone is planning to throw you a baby shower? If not, see if there is a local "buy nothing" group on Facebook: people tend to list TONS of baby clothes and supplies. I've seen people post that they are in search of baby clothes/supplies and they typically get a great response. If you truly have no idea what you need, you can create a baby registry on Amazon and it will automatically break down into categories. (Even if you're not having a shower, Amazon will send you a welcome box full of product samples and offer you a completion discount.)
Thanks for the support and replies! I am feeling better. I am seeing a therapist just to talk things out, and went to pick some things out with soon to be daddy today too. I am hoping that I will still get to have a shower, but honestly my sister tried to throw me one when I was only 12 weeks and I absolutely refused to have one so early in the pregnancy.
Ugh why didn’t I cry today? So emotional. The straw that broke the camels back today was McDonald’s ice cream machine being broken when I NEEDED the Oreo hot fudge McFlurry I saw an ad for earlier in the day.
DS2 was out all week last week with a stomach bug. I was craving some me time. But DH was taking the boys outside to play in the snow. I cried while helping to get them dressed because I had FOMO and didn't want to miss out but also wanted me time.
I’ve cried this week because of the loss of so many friendships. I’m 24 weeks along, 33, married, homeowner with friends in a similar stage of life, making similar life-changing decisions. I was mentally prepared to feel distance between myself and those couples I know are “trying”, but I wasn’t prepared to be dropped like a hot potato from so many others. My maid of honor and best friend hasn’t texted me a single time during my entire pregnancy—which is dissimilar to how she used to treat me, drastically so. I’m grieving the loss of not only her friendship but also others. And I’ve cried twice this week because of it.
Has anyone else experienced unexplained friendship loss and exclusion after announcing your pregnancy?
@mathairdl I'm sorry you're going through this. Is it possible that the friends who have ghosted you are having trouble TTC? Some people experiencing infertility can get incredibly triggered by hearing of someone else's pregnancy.
@mathairdl Yes I have as well. One friend in particular who was one of my best friends. She and her husband have been TTC for years and I know that’s likely why. I’m sad because it seems like this is the end of our friendship all together.
hestia-is-wearie
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Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying in January
In an attempt to address my own version of panic, I recently downloaded the Expectful app for daily pregnancy meditation. I am also considering a therapist/counselor with experience and special interest in working with people through pregnancy and motherhood.
People tell me that you just figure it out as you go. I hope that is true. Take care of yourself!
In regards to the supplies you need for her, consider how some women don't know they're pregnant until the day they deliver. I knew someone in high school who got pregnant and didn't tell anyone except her grandmother, so her baby had to sleep in a sock drawer for a few days until they bought a crib. In some countries, baby showers are not held until after the baby is born. All of these families manage to get what they needed!