Unplanned C Section Struggling Emotionally

Re: Unplanned C Section Struggling Emotionally

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  turtletaylor0522 member

  January 2023

  Hi! I had a slightly-expected c section with my first. I’ll explain…
  
  my mom never dilated with any of her three kids. We kind of expected me to have issues with that. While my cervix softened, it was not dilated at 40 weeks (probably 42 weeks because I miscalculated the due date) so we scheduled an induction. I went in on Monday and labored on Pitocin until Wednesday morning. I dilated to two cm in all that time. My water broke around noon and they gave me an epidural. That didn’t move anything along so I had a c section at 10pm on Wednesday. 

  
  

  I really blamed myself a lot. I was placing my son for adoption and I already wasn’t his “mother” so how could I fail him this way too? I eventually went to therapy over the birth experience as well as being separated from my son through the adoption. I am okay with the whole thing now. I love his parents and I don’t blame myself for any of it. 

  
  

  So if you need it, see a therapist. It’s not true that you failed your child. That’s an intrusive thought that you can overcome. Hang in there. You’re not alone and it is a challenge you can beat. 

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  megan2leigh member

  January 2023

  Hi Momma!
  
  At 26weeks 4days I had a placental abruption causing me to go into preterm labor. This ended in an emergency c section because he was breeched at the time and his heart rate was dangerously low.
  
  My Ob and I haven’t even discussed a birth plan at that point, but I was hoping for a vaginal delivery. My case is of course completely different from yours, but equally as hard to deal with when you hear the words “we have to give you a c-section”. I was put to sleep where it was so urgent so I didn’t even get to see my son when he was born, in fact after I woke up in the operating room after they were finished I didn’t get to see him for 4 hours, and the site of seeing such a small baby strapped to a portable crib getting ready for transportation was heart breaking. I only got to touch his leg. Healing was hard for me because of all the trauma I had gone through so it was no where near a normal c-section, I stayed in the hospital 4 days and couldn’t travel to NICU for 2 more days because it was a long trip and I physically couldn’t handle it yet. I held my baby at 6 days old. 

  
  

  So it’s perfectly normal to feel like you had something stolen from you, every mother should deserve their experience of ideal birth. I too felt like I messed up or wasn’t good enough. But in life things gets thrown at you at whim and eventually you have to learn to play ball. Don’t blame yourself for this, you did everything right, your body did everything it was suppose to. Sometimes if it’s too much for us, God let’s us know when it’s time to rest and in your case, after fighting so hard you needed a c-section. I don’t know if you plan on having anymore and if that’s the case you will still have another chance at the birth you want. But don’t let this experience tear you down. You are a good momma, you love your baby as much as they love you and that’s all you need. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the experience you wanted, I know how that is as well as so many mommas out there. You did the best you could and that my friend is more than enough. 

  Enjoy your little one! 

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