TTCAL w/o Jan 9

britters314 · January 2023

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results

Questions?

GTKY: What is your favorite meal to cook?

mambo5-2 · January 2023

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. LEH ALL THE LOSSES. History of Siggy.

Status: WTO CD 13

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? It's ok, I don't think I've O'd yet. I need to not be sick.

Any testing coming up/any recent results H has his SA in 2.5 weeks.

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What is your favorite meal to cook? I love food! I just enjoy cooking anything but wish I could cook like 2-3 times a week and not every day.

maggiemadeit · January 2023

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: 2 losses (6 & 12 weeks) and 1 chemical in the last 18 months of trying

Status: Cycle 4 back TTC after a break, in the TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Eh, feeling a little (okay a lot) disheartened these days. But I had a loooong chat with my therapist today about TTCAL. I’m so grateful for her. I don’t know how I would have survived the last year without her.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

Questions? NATM

GTKY: What is your favorite meal to cook? For fancy cooking I looooove to make Julia’s Beef bourguignon, but for a quick weeknight meal my favorite is oven black bean tacos.

stashattack · January 2023

Status: WTO/benched for a week at least due to dnc today

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Fucked? Numb. But ok with having closure. We had an US on 1/2 that put us 2w behind growth so we've been in limbo for a week and that sucked. I'm going with Schrödinger's ok. Both ok and not ok all at once. Idk if that makes any sense.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

Questions? Am I crazy for wanting to try right away again?

GTKY: What is your favorite meal to cook? The list of what I hate cooking is much shorter 😹

maggiemadeit · January 2023

@stashattack I’m really sorry you are going through this. It is so devastating, and I really understand your feeling not OK but being OK with the closure. That week of carrying a non viable pregnancy before the D&C was one of the worst weeks of my life. I don’t think it’s crazy at all to want to start TTC again. Everyone is different and needs different time to process. I think it’s all good as long as soon as your doc gives you the green light and you and your husband/partner are on the same page.

stashattack · January 2023

@maggiemadeit I'm so sorry you've gone through this too. It's awful. And I know my DH means well and it's way of coping because he's a scientist, but he's finding comfort in knowing that my body did what it was suppose to in not letting the embryo grow if it wasn't viable. And I get the logic behind that, and I'm glad it gives him comfort. It doesn't bring me comfort in the same way.

I did text my therapist to see if I could get seen before Monday. No promises but shell
let me know if she has a cancellation.

TW LC

TW LC

I know also logically that I shouldn't be frustrated that I did more things to get healthier for this pregnancy than my last one with my toddler. But damn does it feel like that was all for naught. Or that I didn't matter that I gave up drinking in September and have been working out more, including during this first tri, and eating healthier. Im just all in my bad feels right now.

wanderlustsoul · January 2023

*lurking*

@stashattack I’m so so sorry. Pregnancy loss is seriously awful. I also hated when people said that to me. I follow this IG account and it really felt good to see posts that resonated with how I felt.

https://instagram.com/heylossmama?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

stashattack · January 2023

@mambo5-2 I hope your DH SA goes well

@maggiemadeit yeah I know exactly what my next therapy session is going to be about.

@wanderlustsoul thanks for sharing. I'll check out that instagram page.

mambo5-2 · January 2023

@stashattack I am so sorry, that limbo was so rough before my D&C. I felt so weird afterwards, happy to no longer be carrying babies that weren't alive but sad that my babies were completely gone. So it makes sense. Hugs my friend.

maggiemadeit · January 2023

@stashattack My second loss was so hard on my marriage, in large part because we were feeling differently about the loss, and we both had a hard time communicating about it. It’s just different when it was a baby growing inside of you, and unfortunately that is something that your husband just can’t possibly understand, even if he is amazing and there for you and trying really hard. I hope you both can give yourselves and each other a ton of grace right now as you figure your way through this super hard thing together ❤️

stashattack · January 2023

@mambo5-2 in some ways it was so much worse than hearing the news. I hate waiting.

@maggiemadeit I can totally see that putting a huge strain. I think we are both doing a pretty good job right now of giving each other grace. I know he's trying his own way of comforting me and trying to protect us for when we get pregnant again. But your right, it's different still when we are the ones carrying it. So I'm just trying my best to balance those things.

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