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4 month old screams at grandparents and no one else

jpresss01jpresss01 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
I am at a loss for what to do. My daughter seems to absolutely hate my parents. She will cry almost immediately when they pick her up or look at her. She goes to daycare Monday through Friday and she does not do this at daycare. She actually seems to enjoy going and doesn’t constantly scream like this for the daycare ladies. We’ve tried having my parents feed her to bond, and she actually does ok when we are there with them, but if we try to go out on a date she will scream the entire time we are gone. I don’t know why she does this with only my parents. My husband’s parents and family don’t have this problem either. We actually see my parents more than his, so its not a “stranger” situation. My parents haven’t done anything traumatic to her that I know of nor would they intentionally. Please help. 
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Re: 4 month old screams at grandparents and no one else

  • nicademus20nicademus20 member
    How often are your parents around her? I think it is the "making strange" I think they call it. The people she is around often, like those at daycare she is used to so won't have a bad reaction to them. 
    My mom went over a week, around a week without seeing my son and when she came over he cried as if he didn't recognize her or want to be around her. He's five months. 
    It may just mean they have to spend more time around you/your daughter and this will pass. :)

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  • nicademus20nicademus20 member
    I see now where you mention it is not a stranger situation because your parents are seen more often. With that, it is as good a guess as anything.

    When my sister was a baby, she would cry at any man around--even our dad!! No reason that we knew, and our dad is a wonderful dad, it took awhile for her to stop. She used to have to face another direction wherever she sat or would cry if a man was in the room. 
    Sometimes, I wonder that babies just cry around some people more than others. It could be anything. 
    I hope that your LO became less stressed around your parents 😊
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  • turtletaylor0522turtletaylor0522 member
    Look for things your parents do differently than you and your husband then coach them on what you do. for example, my kid was crying in my moms arms and I didn’t really recognize the cry. Then I saw my mom holding my sons hand. It was bugging him because she was holding his whole forearm in her hand, kind of restraining him. I showed her how we hold his hand, loosely with one finger in his fist and one on the back of his hand. As soon as she started holding him the way we did, he settled down for her. 

    It could be something as simple as that! Not them doing anything WRONG. Just doing things differently. 
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  • katie1sttimemamakatie1sttimemama member
    Interesting, my 4 month old cries every time my grandmother (his great grandma) holds him for a few minutes, or sometimes just when he sees her. Now that I read Taylor's comment, I'm thinking it could be the way she's holding him. There's nothing wrong with it, but it might be a bit more of a rough way to hold him than me and my husband do it. The only problem is, I don't wanna be a helicopter mom and tell her how to hold him 😫 she also comes off kinda strong when she talks but I still can't believe he does this with her and literally no one else. I hand him over to my friends, complete strangers to him and he is calm and happy, even falls asleep. Feel so bad for my grandma
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