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Any advice? Long Distance and both just got our dream jobs

dvmpowdvmpow member
edited December 2022 in May 2023 Moms
My partner and I are long distance by a little over 2 hours (Boston to Maine). I’m 17 weeks along and he had planned to make a move down here but he got a call and interview for his dream job that he applied for 2 years ago. Well, just found out he got the job…in Maine. He would not be able to find a job in MA for what he does that pays as well, at least for a very long time. 

I JUST started my dream job in Boston after being hired in July and can’t leave now if I want full FMLA (also am a vet and would need to jump through hoops to get a new license). 

The hardest part is I have no family or much support here apart from friends, it is massively more expensive but it is the only place I’ve ever lived that I love. He has family and a support system in Maine and it is more affordable but he wouldn’t be able to manage my loan burden so I would need a job. I was hoping to stay in this job at least 1 year (ideally long term due to all the amazing benefits and equity, etc).

Anyway, we are both at a bit of a loss of what to do. Thanks for reading.
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Re: Any advice? Long Distance and both just got our dream jobs

  • courtney701courtney701 member
    Oh gosh, that is so hard! Is it possible for him to telecommute for part of the week? 
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  • maelovemaelove member
    I think @cait32 gave some great advice and things to consider. Just wanted to add that I went to school in Boston and I absolutely loved it. It is a great city for sure. If I only had myself to consider I would have stayed forever. I was long distance with my husband (then boyfriend) during that time. After school I ended up coming back to Michigan for my husband and support system (because we knew we wanted kids). Also because my job was the more flexible one at the time. These decisions were all made over time and without the added pressure of being pregnant so not the same but I do understand a little of where you are at. 

    Additional thought- Could you live in the middle and just each of you commute an hour? And maybe even a couple days a week he could work from home?
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  • dvmpowdvmpow member
    edited December 2022
    Thank you everyone so much for your thoughtful responses! Unfortunately he can’t work remotely, he will be working in electric. 
    I am already about 30-45 minutes away from my new job so moving further away would be difficult as well. 
     We are definitely in communication all the time. I need to learn to try to be patient waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel but yes will have to see. My gut feeling is just that we will both love our jobs and have a super hard time leaving. This is the best opportunity I have ever come across so it stinks but would leave if I truly had to. 
    Also definitely thinking of a trial run in Maine during leave, just hard being so far from my father who has Alzheimer’s and lives 1.5 hours south of me now on the cape (forgot to mention that before). In the end I guess what will be will be. Thanks again everyone ❤️
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