May 2023 Moms

This discussion board was just what I needed.

I am 39 years old, pregnant for the first time. My wife and I went through Shady Grove and I am carrying her embryo. We have two children that she carried. I have a shortened cervix and my OB has put on my modified duty from work (I am a paramedic) so I now ride a desk. I used to workout 5-6 times a week, now I’m limited to walking for 30 minutes a day. And no sex. I am probably in the worst headspace right now about all this even though I am really happy and grateful about the pregnancy. My wife doesn’t understand and every time I vent about it we end up getting in a fight. I have to vent somewhere. Figured this would be the place. Thanks for listening.

Re: This discussion board was just what I needed.

  • @tsantos I am sorry you are struggling, I know it’s really hard to bring this to the front of your mind right now but I always try to repeat over and over “everything is temporary” and “this will pass” even though it sounds cliche. I’m glad you can still walk but I understand what an impact your exercise restriction has on you and probably your mental state. Also sounds cheesy but maybe you could add meditation or light stretching to your routine? Hang in there!
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  • Welcome @tsantos783! All those restrictions and lifestyle changes sound rough, but to echo what @maelove said, it's a temporary change and you're doing everything you have to in order to continue a healthy pregnancy. I'm guessing your wife didn't have to go through these same restrictions; I'm sorry she doesn't sympathize.  :/
    We have a monthly advanced maternal age/high-risk check-in thread that you may find solace in as well! There are plenty of mamas here who have to take special considerations.
  • megh061816megh061816 member
    edited December 2022
    I'm sorry to hear this, and that your wife can't relate to the level of un happiness with some life changes that affect you that hardcore, please keep communicating with eachother and don't bottle it up, and make sure to keep up with ppd discussions with your ob/doctor (not saying you'll develop it but it's best to keep yourself as healthy and supported as possible) they can help!! and try to find different ways to let your stress out, maybe try painting or something you could do at a desk, congrats on your pregnancy, once he or she is born it'll all be ok I'm sure!! Goodluck mama. You got this, you're doing great!!! 
  • So glad you are here! And I definitely echo what everyone above said. Your post resonated with me. I’m also considered high risk and have been struggling with my mental health lately. In the last couple of weeks, I have started incorporating 10-15 meditation and very gentle, light prenatal yoga stretching into my days and spoke with my doctor about how I’m feeling more down than usual. After speaking with both my ob-gyn and psychiatrist, we decided that a low-dose, pregnancy safe antidepressant was the right move for me. I’m really grateful for the help and am also waiting on a referral for a new therapist. I find that it DEFINITELY helps to talk to someone other than my spouse or even friends/family about some of these things, so I am really eager to start back up with some virtual talk therapy. But honestly, there are so many super helpful self care strategies outside of what I mentioned- and hopefully you can find a few strategies that work well to help with your headspace a bit. Sending support your way! You’ve got this!
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