Telling my in laws before my parents that I’m pregnant? Need advice.

Re: Telling my in laws before my parents that I’m pregnant? Need advice.

• harpseal135 member

  December 2022

  As long as your in laws don't talk or call your parents, why does it natter? Its within a 24 hour time period. 
  
  If its really a concern for you have you and your husband FaceTime both sets of parents and tell them at the same time.    

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• stashattack member

  December 2022

  I agree with @harpseal135. It really shouldn't matter. No one has to know the order in which what parents find out first. Unless everyone is gathered or called at the same time, it's practically impossible for both sets to find out at the same time. Someone is going to be second to the knowledge. And they should be adult enough to handle that. 

  PG #1: 36w5d 12/25/19
  PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
  PG #3: EDD 12/15/23

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• 00kim00 member

  December 2022

  I second @stashattack that your parents should be adult enough to deal. In fact, most reasonable adults aren't going to ask if they're the first person you told. In my case, my in-laws knew a long time before my parents. We did IVF, which we shared with my in-laws and church family so they would be praying along the way. So they (and our church, and our previous church, and their church) knew when we started meds, when we did the egg retrieval, how many embryos we had, when we did the transfer, and when we did the first pregnancy test. My parents, on the other hand, we did not tell about the IVF, we waited to tell them until I was in the second trimester. And guess what, it didn't matter. My family didn't ask if they knew before the in-laws, so they don't know that they found out months later. The only thing I felt convicted about regarding sharing the news is that my husband should know before anybody else (since so many people knew about the IVF, I had lots of people contacting me on testing day, but my husband was out of town traveling all day, so I stayed silent with others until after telling my husband). But that's his right as dad... Your parents and your husband's parents are all equally grandparents, there's no need to favor one set above the other.

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• knottiec1bd6c5399b4642a member

  December 2022

  If your parents ask if they were the first to know, just tell them you wanted to wait until you could tell them in person, that it was too important to share over the phone.

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• dobiemom11 member

  December 2022

  When we told our families, they did ask "Does anyone else know?".  We kept the people who knew very limited at the beginning and told people they were not allowed to tell anyone.  Our family mostly wanted to know who else knew, so they could call them and be excited together. It didn't seem to cause an issue that one family knew shortly before another family.  
  
  I think your ornament idea is wonderful.  We had something similar planned, but due to COVID, we were unable to tell them in person.  

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• knottie5743b2285990db42 member

  December 2022

  I had this same scenario happen during Thanksgiving. We spent the 23rd with my in-laws and told them that night. The next day, we drove 6 hours to spend Thanksgiving with my parents and told them in person. They didn’t mind at all that I told my in-laws first due to how our plans had worked out. They were extremely excited for my husband and I that it didn’t matter who knew first. :)

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