Forced switching of OB doc, fat phobic dr

lisamright · November 2022

My mid wife/ob has lost their contract with the hospital for servicing women experiencing vbacs. The hospital was transitioned to a mental hospital, so no more babies could be delivered there. Due to this I am unable to see the doctor that specializes in vbacs because he isn't able to practice at the other local hospitals. There is another doc that is at the midwife office that can see me, but in the two visits prior to yesterday she has already added obesity as a health concern, warned me that I shouldn't gain any more weight(at that point I'd gained 3 pounds in 30 weeks, at this point I've gain 4 pounds in 32 weeks), and told me I'm measuring further along and I should know that I may need a c-section if she does end up being a big baby. She is forcing me to have a fourth u/s to check baby's growth and amniotic fluid level, even though my other two babies were 7 pounds. I'm not swelling, don't have headaches or high blood pressure, and am not experiencing GD. yesterday's appointment she was really so worried about me measuring 2 weeks ahead that she tried to make it seem like I was/should be worried too even though I was measuring 3 weeks ahead the previous visit. Which means it's leveling out, but I feel like she's just not wanting to be my doctor due to my weight and the fact I'm trying for a vbac. I guess what I'm asking is- do I just suck it up and deal with her or am I just being overly emotional? It's taken me until recently to not hate my overweight body and having her fake concern for my weight even though up until now it's not been an issue is just frustrating. Should I find a new ob? Maybe talk to her about how she's making me feel?

meggyme · December 2022

Is she part of a practice where you could easily switch for your regular care? There’s a chance she could still deliver but you wouldn’t have to deal with her regular BS that way with minor interruption you your care. Or tell her that she has done all the testing and monitoring to determine if your weight is an issue so she needs to stop harping on it or you will be finding a new provider.

00kim00 · December 2022

Eek. I'd like to validate you in that the areas she's mentioning as concerns, from my understanding, shouldn't be concerns. I've been measuring ahead on fundal height, and all the midwives say if it's 2 weeks or less, that's considered normal. While obesity may be a concern and an ultrasound isn't a big deal (I've had so many ultrasounds! Maybe 2 of my prenatal visits didn't have an accompanying ultrasound), I think given the whole picture, you're right that there's something up with her. Personally, I switched providers around 24 weeks (from an OB practice to a midwife practice) and I'm really glad I did. I'm almost 36 weeks now, and I'm so much more comfortable with my providers now. However, they did require a records review before they accepted me as a patient, so it may not be as easy as you'd hope to switch this far along. I don't know how far you'll get with talking to her about how you feel, unless you feel like she's an empathetic and self-reflective person (not the impression I got from your post, and unfortunately not common traits in doctors from my experience). Your care team is important, so do what you need to feel comfortable, otherwise you're going to feel pressured into decisions you don't want. But, it may not be possible to switch. If you can't or decide you don't want to, I'd suggest looking into a doula who can help be your advocate and be on your side.

lisamright · December 2022

The whole reason I went to this midwife group was because I was tired of not being given the chance to make informed decisions on my health... My last ob did a membrane sweep without my consent, and forced me into a c-section that wasn't medically needed just because she wanted to go home. The original Dr I was seeing at this new practice specializes in vbacs, where as the new Dr is a family medicine Dr turned ob.. she's saying the same things my old ob said before forcing me to have a c-section that I didn't want and it's so disappointing. I really thought going to a practice with midwifery would change the narrative a bit, and it was wonderful, until that hospital change messed everything up

I appreciate you ladies' input, I think I will try to talk to her at my next visit. My biggest issue with the ultrasound is that with my insurance it's almost $500 for an ultrasound, and if a fourth one wasn't medically necessary I was trying to avoid it...

lisamright · December 2022

Also, I go to a family medicine Dr that is amazing for all my routine care, so after the baby is delivered I won't have to see this doctor again aside from the post natal check up. I was just really hoping for a birthing experience where I was a bit more in control of what was being done to my body

fertile-turtle · December 2022

@lisamright given everything you’ve said, a doula sounds like a great option for you if you can afford it, and even if you can’t, there may be options available that are need-based. I know in some states in the US, you can get a doula through Medicaid even (although I have no idea what that process is like). If you can reach out to your old midwives’ office, they may have recommendations for you - my midwives literally gave me a list of local doula groups in case I wanted someone. A doula isn’t a medical professional but can help you have the experience you want and ask the questions that help prevent unnecessary c-sections and the like, so that you can be more in control of the situation this time around. It’s obviously not a guarantee - sometimes c-sections still have to happen or things don’t go to plan in other ways - but statistically your chances of getting what you want are better with a doula for support.

lisamright · December 2022

Thank you @fertile-turtle, I wish a doula was in the cards for me, but with everything else going on we just really can't swing it. I'm really hoping taking the time to speak with the Dr will improve our communication and result in a better respect and understanding between the both of us. Past that I believe if she doesn't get approved for working at the local hospitals I'll be delivered by a stranger anyway, so I'll just labor at home for as long as I can stand it, and hopefully get to hospital just in time for delivery. I wish doctors were more understanding that being overweight doesn't mean that's the only issue to be discussed...

meggyme · December 2022

@lisamright you may be surprised. Some doulas who are still training and working toward the required number of births for certification may do it for free or a reduced fee. If you can come up with a budget for it maybe see if they can recommend someone in that price range. I think that is a great recommendation if you feel like this is your only option and you are being pressured. You could also talk more with your partner or a friend to act as your doula.

Forced switching of OB doc, fat phobic dr

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