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March 2023 Moms
muggsd
member
Weekly Check In 11/21
muggsd
member
EDD / Weeks + Days:
FTM/STM/TTM+:
Baby is the size of a(n):
Team blue/pink/green:
Upcoming Appointments:
How are you feeling?:
Rants/Raves:
Questions:
GTKY: What’s the best piece of parenting advice you’ve heard? What’s the worst?
Re: Weekly Check In 11/21
FTM/STM/TTM+: 4TM
Baby is the size of a(n): Baseball glove
Team blue/pink/green: Green
Upcoming Appointments: Nov 30 is my glucose test
How are you feeling?: Emotional rollercoaster, but physically I'm pretty good
Rants/Raves: So excited for the holiday season really kicking off this week. Just trying to soak up every magical moment with my kids.
Questions: STM(+) have a favorite diaper pail? I've had the Dekor in the past, and it wasn't bad, just expensive bag replacements. I currently have the Ubbi, which I was so excited about getting. But it truly is terrible, and I've only had it since like the summer.
GTKY: What’s the best piece of parenting advice you’ve heard? What’s the worst? The best I think was to think of your kids has little humans. They aren't subhuman just because they are small. If they are crying or upset, try to figure out what's wrong from their level. It might not make sense to you, but it feels like a big deal to them. And it's okay for them to have bad days too, just like we do.
Worst: CIO and spanking. It's been my mom's answer to everything, so I've stopped coming to her for advice.
And yes to CIO for everything. I believe it has a (small) place in controlled settings for sleep training, but is also very kid dependent. But so much nope to “spoiling the baby” by holding a newborn or having contact naps or just responding to their cries. I got a lot of side eye from older people for wearing my babies, even!
Best: I agree with treating them like their tiny human. I let her make her own decisions (acceptable for her age), and talk to her like I would talk to anyone else.
Worst: Tme outs, spanking, CIO.
Best - During the newborn phase, things get better in 2 week increments. 2 weeks old is slightly better than just born, 4 weeks slightly better than 2 weeks, etc. It really helped me keep perspective and gave me something to look forward to beyond just "you'll sleep again someday".
Worst - I don't know if this counts as parenting advice, but it's what comes to mind. My daughter was born just weeks before everything shut down for COVID. When she was 5.5 weeks old, the governor of CT (where we lived at the time) announced the first pediatric "COVID death" - a 6 week old baby girl, so wear your homemade masks everyone and social distance! I was CONVINCED my daughter was going to be next. I sobbed every time I held her because I knew she was going to die. And everything was shut down - there was no such thing as help for PPA/PPD. Hubby had to help me out of it on his own. We found out months later that that baby did not die OF covid, she died WITH covid. She was completely asymptomatic, died of SIDS, and only test positive after her death. I hold that man personally responsible for my PPA and robbing me of time/joy with my baby.
@noxacanthus sending you big love! I’m so sorry that was your newborn experience with such incredible outside impact. ❤️
@disneybaby23 your IL experience sounds familiar 🙃 good luck at thanksgiving handling the input!
@heytallmama - My next appointment is my "28" week appointment and then we'll be switching to 2 week appointments.😳 During December. Shoot me now.
Random: My work just announced "12 days of Christmas" with something every work day from December 1st-16th, and it's overwhelming. I don't need more on my plate with Christmas parties for 5yo and 2yo at school, two OB appointments, a dentist filling for my 5yo, a cardiology appointment for me, and my birthday. Along with leaving on a week long vacation on the 17th. I'm bowing out.
I haven’t received much yet since I’m a FTM!
Oh also something I learned is that there are more postpartum mood disorders than depression. There's also anxiety and rage. And they can come on even a year after giving birth. Have a conversation with your partner about what the signs are, they're likely to see something is off before you. If they see these signs, have a conversation and get help as soon as possible.
I'm a very calm person, I don't yell and I'm not violent but I got postpartum rage. I hit a wall because I couldn't get the swaddle wrapped correctly. I also broke my computer because excel was being a dick. I yelled at my husband often. All of that is very out of character for me. I got help, I got through it and I've already discussed it with my midwife and naturopath so we will keep a better eye on it.
My husband and I had a plan before my daughter was born for what I we can do to help manage depression if it happened. We wanted to make a plan while I was in a fit state of mind. Unfortunately, I didn't know rage was a thing and I gave birth at the beginning of the pandemic so I couldn't do anything of the things we planned. But we have a similar plan thos go around.
worst: sleep training. Did not work for us and I couldn’t keep up with the schedule. I let my son cry for a bit one night because I was mentally and physically exhausted (so was DH). He has been my AMAZING sleeper since he figured out mommy didn’t have to check on him all the time. There’s nothing wrong with letting them cry as long as nothing is wrong with them!