Weekly Randoms 11/14

marebear15 · November 2022

What's happening?

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/giFLHb8U7IhLgvB6wC/giphy.gif

disneybaby23 · November 2022

I’m really excited because I’m scoping out a birth class this week - Fearless Birth. Its only like 30 mins per day this week, free, and it’s a preview of her larger class. If anyone is interested: She is labor.nurse.mama on Instagram - Trish Ware. I have had such a hard time finding birth classes in my area since my hospital still doesn’t do in person yet and no one local is doing the classes until January in person so I’m hoping it will be helpful! This is like the highlight of my week. Birth anxiety started to hit me hard this weekend.

Wishilivedinflorida · November 2022

Yes, it’s getting real for sure! I hope the classes help you @disneybaby23!

I just ordered my breast pump!! Ahhh!!! It won’t ship til end of next month but it still is crazy to think about.

noxacanthus · November 2022

@disneybaby23 @Wishilivedinflorida You guys are so much more on top of things than I am. Someone asked me if I had a registry today and I was like, "Uh, I have a general list of things we probably want to pick up at some point..." I was so on top of everything with my first baby and now I keep putting it all off until after the holidays.

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

I'm with you there @noxacanthus I put together a list of what I need but I'm also avoiding buying things. I need to get my house in order first.

heytallmama · November 2022

Ditto on lack of registry. We’re also just probably not going to make one period because anything we need at this point, we’ll pick up ourselves. Plus, no baby shower/ sprinkle. The whole 2nd baby 7 years later thing has me feeling a different set of expectations than the first time- but in a good way! Honestly- it’s kinda freeing. We’ve not talked with anyone about what we need except just between us (or if friends have offering to pass on things they’re done with that they think we’d want)- which means we’re operating at our pace and level of need vs answering questions non stop from family like last time lol

Wishilivedinflorida · November 2022

@heytallmama But the coupons are so useful! Legit I only have private registries for the discounts. 3rd surprise baby and I am only getting what we absolutely need or what will resale well.

marebear15 · November 2022

Like y'all, we're not having a shower or anything, but I just have a running list of things I need to replace. I literally just bought a new diaper pail because my 2 and 1yos are still in diapers, and I hate it. So that's on the list, along with a travel system and a new car seat for my 1yo. Actually a lot of things are for my 1yo because I'm taking his baby stuff and moving him to toddler things.

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

@Wishilivedinflorida I did the same with my first. I wasn't planning on having a shower and only a meet and greet, no gifts after baby was born. I signed up for registries to keep everything organized and get the discounts. I. Doing the same this time but again, no shower. Although I feel like I missed out last time because I had my first in May 2020 so I didn't get to have a meet and greet.

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

I started potty training my 2.5yo and it's going really well!! I tried a 3 day method with low expectations on it actually working in 3 days. My intention was to get her exposed to it quickly. Day 1, there were more accidents than successful times in the potty. She did suprise me by waking up for her nap, grabbing a book, sitting on the toilet and 💩 while reading without saying a word to me until she was done. Day 2, was more successful than accidents. And day 3 she didn't have a single accident! She was naked the entire time because she refused to wear pants 😅.

She has to wear pull-ups at DC which we are only using during naps and night sleep but they said she hasn't had any accidents yet. She gets really upset when she does pee in the pull-up while sleeping and wants it changed immediately when she wakes up haha.

I'm super impressed with her and did not expect this. I'm so glad she will hopefully be fuy trained by the time baby comes.

heytallmama · November 2022

Ah! I forget about registry discounts!! Ok you’ve convinced me to make a private one 😂

@miss_lynn9 congrats on potty training! We did the 3 day also and I was also pleasantly surprised with how well it worked! Day one feels rough but by day 3 it’s like “holy shit it’s…working!?!”

lightintothevoid · November 2022

Does anyone else feel a strange sense of guilt about doing a registry? Idk, it’s giving me some weird emotions, but I’m someone who hates asking for help, so…Also, basically all of my family and friends live 3,000 miles away, so a shower is probably not going to happen.

disneybaby23 · November 2022

@lightintothevoid I feel the same way. I made a private registry just to keep track of everything we need to buy and I only send to people if they ask. My mom offered to buy our stroller yesterday and I’m super grateful but I’m used to being self sufficient so it makes me really uncomfortable to have people get us stuff.

heytallmama · November 2022

@lightintothevoid Yes! I think that’s a big part of it for us. We’re in our late 30s, financially stable, and we already have a kid. That said, 7 years ago we did have a baby shower and registry - so no shade on baby showers! It just feels different this time around.

lightintothevoid · November 2022

Okay, I’m glad I’m not alone. I will definitely accept gifts, I just don’t want to beg for them.

Wishilivedinflorida · November 2022

lightintothevoid said:

Okay, I’m glad I’m not alone. I will definitely accept gifts, I just don’t want to beg for them.

You can definitely have a registry for yourself and provide the info only if someone asks! I personally love it when anyone has a wish list for anything so I don’t have to guess.

nopegoat · November 2022

Anyone else already getting a ton of comments and so incredibly over it?

-Only one?
-Due any time right?.... March?!!!!
-You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't lift that.
-This is the last one right? You shouldn't have any more. At least wait 4-5yr for the next one of you have to have more....

disneybaby23 · November 2022

@nopegoat yes! So much input from my in laws this week.

- They’re already asking when they’re getting grand baby #2 (#1 isn’t even here).

- They were fully convinced I wasn’t allowed to have any caffeine and wouldn’t let me have anything but water

- I told them I was 23 weeks and MIL says “no you aren’t. I keep track on this calendar here. You’re 25 weeks.” “Baby will be born on a Tuesday which is perfect for us” (firstly, no that’s wrong. Secondly it is a slim chance he’ll be born on his due date)
- “why can’t you name him this other name that we like?”
- “Middle names are dumb - you shouldn’t give him one.” Two seconds later “we like this for a middle name (insert bizarre offbeat name)”
- “if you won’t use this name for baby #1 will you consider it for #2”
- ”I didn’t breastfeed. You shouldn’t either”

My husband started feeling super sick during dinner. I was so glad to GTFO. Sorry you had a comment-filled holiday too! At least all they can do is comment - they have no real power.

noxacanthus · November 2022

We moved my daughter (2.75) into her big girl room/bed Sunday night and it's been ROUGH. Weirdly, naps have been fine, but at bed time she'll play until around 11pm average. Last night she didn't fall asleep until 1am. We wanted to do the move early before all the holiday travel and so we'd have time to clean out/redocrate the nursery before baby girl #2 gets here. I know consistency is the best thing, but now I'm 2nd guessing whether we should go back to the crib. Hubby & I are exhausted.

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

@nopegoat @disneybaby23 I'm sorry you're getting these comments. It's really quite frustrating. I got a girl tell me my bump is baby fat from my last pregnancy. My dad also called me a fatty last night. I'm a healthy weight, and even if I wasn't those comments are unacceptable. I told my dad it was rude and my sister piped up and said something which was nice.

I lead stretches every morning at work and one girl keeps commenting on my body in front of the entire 20 something people group. It's always positive comments but why in front of the group when everyone is staring at me?

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

@noxacanthus that sounds rough. They say to give any big changes 3 months so I say stick with it. It's better to do it now than when baby #2 is a newborn in my opinion. And throwing a new baby and a new bed at her at the same time could be too much for her.

disneybaby23 · November 2022

@miss_lynn9 wow what jerks! Commenting on someone’s weight is literally never okay. It’s weird how pregnancy makes everyone feel like it’s now a topic they can talk about. I’m glad you told your dad he was being rude. Hopefully he backs off.

mytrueloves · November 2022

@disneybaby23 some of those comments are downright crazy 😳 it's one thing to have an opinion, quite another to think everyone should do as you want
@miss_lynn9 I am so sorry you're dealing with body shaming like that. It's never okay. The audacity some people have is insane.

On the topic of uncomfortable comments, I've been sitting on something my MIL said to me recently cause I don't want to cause a fight but man it made me uncomfortable. For context, my MIL is Christian. Goes to church every Sunday, Bible study on Thursday. Only listens to Christian music on the radio. She's accepting of the fact that we're a Queer family, which I appreciate. But we have butted heads quite a few times in the past because DH is agnostic and I'm pagan with a crap ton of religious trauma from being raised in Catholicism/ going to a Catholic school all 12 years of school. DH and I agreed Day 1 that we want our kids to be older and better able to process information before being introduced to religion.

Recently I was in the car with her and she said "I know my sons are going to Hell but I have hope for my grandkids at least".
I was like "why would they go to Hell? They're good people."
"Because they don't believe in Jesus."

I literally didn't know what to say. To so casually say you think your kids are going to Hell, and to be okay with that is just mind blowing to me. Also she knows that I'm not Christian so I would also be going to Hell in this scenario.

noxacanthus · November 2022

@miss_lynn9 Wow. I can't imagine calling someone that, let alone my own child. I'm glad both you and your sister stood up to him.

ETA: I desperately ordered child-proof light switch covers off of Amazon at midnight last night. Hopefully those help with the idea that bedtime is time for sleep, not play. They'll be here on Monday.

cheznet · November 2022

@disneybaby23 I will never understand why people would argue against breastfeeding. There are so many benefits beyond nutrition. The best nutrition for your baby! But my sister is a lactation consultant, so I might be biased.

cheznet · November 2022

@miss_lynn9 my dad asked me how much weight I've gained so far. First of all, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's a healthy amount. Secondly, even if I'm pregnant, don't ask me how heavy I'm getting!

heytallmama · November 2022

@mytrueloves that’s so wild she’d say that! Pushy comments like that are the worst because what do you say in the moment?! Especially when they don’t come close to aligning with your personal beliefs.

@miss_lynn9 my dad also asked me how much weight I’ve gained so far. Or if I’ve been able to stay exercising, or other body/weight focused questions. Not unusual for him: he prides himself on how he works out and stuff but I literally had to be like, “Dad asking someone hoe much weight they’ve gained isn’t OK. It’s not a signal of ‘health’.” I didnt get my “how much weight have you gained lately?” retort out fast enough. Then the next day his sister whom I see once every few years did the same thing!?! What the hell. Also was officially the first person to rub my belly and then ask, “Don’t you hate it when people do that??” “Well, you’re the only one who’s done it who’s not [daughter].”

nopegoat · November 2022

@noxacanthus don't give up yet. The novelty will wear off quickly.

We had to clear out toys and books in the bedroom for a couple of mine that were especially difficult. But usually after a week or so they'd calm down and go to sleep much quicker.

noxacanthus · November 2022

@nopegoat Fingers crossed, bit light switch cover seems to have done the trick. She fell asleep at 9 last night which is the earliest since the move and consistent with what she used to do in the crib. We did move all the books out of the room after night 2 or 3 because when she got really bored late at night, she would start tearing up books. She removed all her clothes herself by making a big pile of them outside her door/baby gate every night until we stopped moving them back. So it's just her, the bed, empty furniture, and her stuffed animals.

Wishilivedinflorida · November 2022

Sooo where did my second tri “energy” go? I’m only just 23.5 weeks and I’m feeling dead tired/exhausted every day around 2 pm. I didn’t get this before until third tri. If this keeps up its going to be a looooong 16 more weeks.

miss_lynn9 · November 2022

@Wishilivedinflorida I'm with you there. I'm exhausted. I wanted to nap at work today. I came home and worked out but I was so tired that I cut down my sets. I was so worn down at the end that I was almost in tears wondering how I was going to get through the rest of the evening. I bought a Gatorade and ate some cookies and I feel better 😅

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