Hi moms!
I am currently 8w2d and while we are so excited to be first time parents, I’m finding myself bummed a lot of the time that I can’t do a lot of the things I used to. I’m too tired to get outside and go on a walk/hike or go to the pool(overheating makes me nauseous), cooking was my favorite hobby and I can’t even go to the grocery store right now or browse Pinterest recipes due to nausea. Hubby and I used to bounce around downtown grabbing drinks/appetizers and shopping and obviously I’ve given up drinking and don’t have an appetite for trying new foods or restaurants as my food aversions don’t allow it. Even walking around makes me sick. All I feel like doing is laying in bed and bumming around and this is bringing on a lot of depression.
When will this pass?!
I know becoming a mom is going to bring on so many changes but losing joy in all of my little hobbies all of a sudden is hitting hard and I find myself sad a lot. Hubby and I can only play so much scrabble and watch so many movies. Plus I start to get headaches with too much screen time or reading with nothing else to do while laying in bed :(
Re: First trimester depression?
Here's what I'm doing differently:
-I'm seeing a therapist. It does help to talk to someone and brainstorm little ways to help myself cope.
-I spent some time asking around and finding foods that help with neasea and eating them every 30 minutes or so. You might be different, but for me, eating a small amount of no-sugar yogurt or some other cold, leaner protein every 30 minutes or so has helped some. It really keeps the nausea more manageable. Some women swear by carbs! Explore a bit and note anything that helps you feel better and eat it often! Note what makes you feel worse and avoid it like the plague. Sometimes I wake my husband to get me a small bowl of yogurt in the middle of the night when I wake with nausea. I don't always WANT to eat it but it does help me feel better so I force a few bites.
-On that note, food things that work for me: I eat cold food (salads with protein, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc) almost exclusively, and I've given up onions and garlic. Hot, oniony foods exacerbated the nausea. I'm avoiding very fatty things like nuts, chips, even though my midwife advised eating nuts to help with nausea. Nuts made mine so much worse!
-I'm going to the gym 3x a week and doing slower, lower-impact exercise. One of those times is with a friend for a low-impact Zumba class. Basically, my goal is to get to the gym, and if I've made it there I literally tell myself "Nailed it!" and then if I do anything beyond show up, even better. So even if I feel like I can't do much, a few endorphins definitely help right now.
-I'm saying no to a lot at work so I can get home earlier and sleep.
-I'm remembering that many women who have had cancer find the first trimester of pregnancy harder than chemo (seriously!). I would never expect chemo to be fun, and I've adjusted my expectations of myself and my life during pregnancy. It sucks, yes it does. And that leads me to feel okay about doing the next 2 things...
-I have told everyone I know that I am pregnant and very sick and struggling, and asked for help with childcare, shopping, meal prep, and any basic life tasks that can be done by others. My husband is doing more, my sister is helping, we've hired someone to clean our house, and one of our neighbors and a few friends are coming over to help with other things.
-Yah, I love cooking but I've temporarily had to delegate that. It sucks but I just can't.
I hope some of that might help. It's a long list. I didn't start with it all at once. I started with exploring what foods helped/hurt and went from there.
This is a shit time and it's ok to miss and grieve your old life in a big way. Mostly I just wanted to die for my whole first pregnancy. People kept telling me to remember it was temporary but every day felt like fucking forever. I'm only getting better at coping after some practice and lots of exploring and support. It's hard to believe now but you will meet your baby and feel like it was all worth it, I promise you. In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.