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December 2022 Moms
kts12
Newbie
Name Frustration/Anxiety
kts12
Newbie
I am 27+4 with my third child. In a blended family, this baby will be baby girl #4. We are already facing the challenge of many names already being used. To top it off, our first choice for name was met with zero enthusiasm from all family members, which left us feeling unsettled and sad.
Nonetheless, we set out to choose another name. Since two of the daughters have "A" names, we restricted ourselves to looking for another so that she would have a connection to her older siblings. So, we settled on a second name we thought would be nice. We got better reception for the second name, but then we were offered suggestions, which were off-putting and suggested the family still didn't like it entirely.
Both of my older children had names at or before the halfway mark. Their names are classic and perfect for them. With the pushback and suggestions, I got so frustrated. I started to question myself. What was I doing so differently from the first two with the names? I felt frustrated and discouraged and I didn't want to look at another A name because I'd seen them all and it was making me sick. Then I started to be a bit resentful because I started questioning what was so wrong with our first choice and they should just accept it. I knew it felt like I was overreacting, but I was overwhelmed and I felt like I couldn't even do something so simple as choose a name...
I decided to go in a different direction and choose a J name instead to match her to her other sibling. I bounced a list of names but the name I was drawn to had an initial "zing" and finally felt right. I told my partner I didn't want to tell anyone because I can't handle their opinions and it's not their choice. I really like the name. It's pretty, not over used, but not too out there and has the letter tie to her sister and a biblical meaning with her brother.
I feel a little torn because all this time we have called her AJ and now that looks like it's changing.
I still don't feel motivated to tell anyone close to us. We have had a lot of family drama where it feels like they manage to steal our joy. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or to vent. I'm wondering if I'm second guessing myself now. I'd like to have her name on her baby blanket before she's born, but I guess that can wait.
Should I commit to my "third time's the charm" J name, or should I wait to commit to the name when the baby actually arrives?
TIA for your kindness.
Nonetheless, we set out to choose another name. Since two of the daughters have "A" names, we restricted ourselves to looking for another so that she would have a connection to her older siblings. So, we settled on a second name we thought would be nice. We got better reception for the second name, but then we were offered suggestions, which were off-putting and suggested the family still didn't like it entirely.
Both of my older children had names at or before the halfway mark. Their names are classic and perfect for them. With the pushback and suggestions, I got so frustrated. I started to question myself. What was I doing so differently from the first two with the names? I felt frustrated and discouraged and I didn't want to look at another A name because I'd seen them all and it was making me sick. Then I started to be a bit resentful because I started questioning what was so wrong with our first choice and they should just accept it. I knew it felt like I was overreacting, but I was overwhelmed and I felt like I couldn't even do something so simple as choose a name...
I decided to go in a different direction and choose a J name instead to match her to her other sibling. I bounced a list of names but the name I was drawn to had an initial "zing" and finally felt right. I told my partner I didn't want to tell anyone because I can't handle their opinions and it's not their choice. I really like the name. It's pretty, not over used, but not too out there and has the letter tie to her sister and a biblical meaning with her brother.
I feel a little torn because all this time we have called her AJ and now that looks like it's changing.
I still don't feel motivated to tell anyone close to us. We have had a lot of family drama where it feels like they manage to steal our joy. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or to vent. I'm wondering if I'm second guessing myself now. I'd like to have her name on her baby blanket before she's born, but I guess that can wait.
Should I commit to my "third time's the charm" J name, or should I wait to commit to the name when the baby actually arrives?
TIA for your kindness.
Re: Name Frustration/Anxiety
I'm starting to feel a little anxious about names, too. We have one my husband and I like, but we're on the fence- it's a double/hyphenated name, neither name is common in the US, and one of them is difficult to spell (or more accurately, Americans would have a difficult time knowing how to pronounce it if they tried to read it). But it's the first name that we both have really liked, it's meaningful to us in several ways, and blends our cultures into one name (we're an interracial/intercultural/international couple). So we're still undecided and haven't figured out a second choice.