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PGAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-In: 9/15/22-9/21/22

hestia-is-weariehestia-is-wearie member
in May 2023 Moms
This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc. 

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Weeks/EDD?

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 

Any appointment updates? 

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions?
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Re: PGAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-In: 9/15/22-9/21/22

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  • swmama27swmama27 member
    Your anxiety is totally understandable but it doesn’t make it any easier to be understood. I lost a son at 16 weeks pregnant due to unknown reasons. It’s really really hard to enjoy this pregnancy. I even heard the heartbeat and have had great ultrasounds but it’s so hard to relax and trust myself. I also have a 7 year old and was one of those women who had an easy pregnancy (despite being high risk due to type one diabetes). It’s much harder on this side of the fence and once you go through a loss it’s impossible to feel as carefree as your first. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m here with you! I hope we both get our rainbows and find a way to be okay no matter what. Sometimes I have to remind myself of what I was like before baby thoughts and being a mama to show that I have purpose even when things seems darkest. It’s the one little thing that can ground me when I’m struggling. Here if you want to talk!
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  • acamomma18acamomma18 member
    Hey again - the anxiety after loss is REAL. I just went on a girls’ trip to New Mexico and had to avoid cheese, hot springs, etc. Every time I go to the bathroom, I hold my breath for what I might see. So, solidarity 💪🏼 

    Today I’m 6 weeks (likely a touch earlier since I ovulated later in my cycle) and feeling pretty good physically. I never got morning sickness during 2 previous pregnancies (1 living, 1 lost at 12 weeks gestation), which is a good thing I suppose. My first appointment is just past 8 weeks, so I’m holding my breath until then 💕 I’m trying to take one milestone at a time… will worry about genetic screening after I hear a heartbeat. Sending positive vibes mamas! 
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  • swmama27swmama27 member
    @acamomma18 yes all of that is real! Good for you for still going. I’m 6 weeks 3 days so you’re in good company! I didn’t have any morning sickness with my son, and I had all of the morning sickness with my 16 week loss, also a (my) son 💕 and none now. So I’m choosing to correlate my “healthy” pregnancies with no morning sickness. I’ve honestly been extra hungry, sleepy and moody but that’s about it. Aside from the crazy dreams. 

    And of course crippling anxiety that I’m trying to combat every day. Choosing to feel differently this time is the only way I can get through the days. The good and bad feelings come and go 
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  • krb99krb99 member
    Weeks/EDD? 4w6d

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 2 CP

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Neurotic. Like I’m spending my future kid’s college fund on buying the fancy pink line pregnancy tests to look at the line progression. 

    Any appointment updates? 8 week US in 3.5 weeks. 

    Any big milestones? I felt nauseated earlier this week, which I never did with my CPs, but now I’m asymptomatic again. It may be related to doing a night shift and having that trigger nausea, then having the nausea resolve after I caught up on sleep. But a part of me was like, yay, I’m throwing up! 😂

    Rants/Raves/Questions? Grateful to be able to request a bunch of beta-hcg levels pre-ultrasound for peace of mind (well maybe peace is a strong word). 
    I do have the constant intrusive thought WhAt If ThE pReGnAnCy Is fAiLiNg AnD yOu JuSt DoN’t KnOw It YeT and it sucks and it’s not fun. 

    @kweller2019 I hope your appointment today goes/went well! 
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  • kweller2019kweller2019 member
    @krb99 Thank you! My HCG levels are continuing to rise and we get to see this baby on Sept. 30th for an 8 week ultrasound. My doctor deemed it medically necessary because it will help my obvious anxiety. lol
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  • fj0523fj0523 member
    Weeks/EDD? 4w4d

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 
    My first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage on June 8th. I had my first scan at 6 weeks and when I went back at 8 weeks they said there was no more heart beat and baby was measuring at only 6w1d. As you can imagine I was heartbroken. Last month I just had a chemical and after trying and testing this month I saw my first decent line at 10 dpo.

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 
    I’m feeling happy but really scared too. My husband has a balanced translocation(BT) of chromosomes 16;20 so I have about double the risk of a miscarriage as someone who doesn’t have the BT 
    Any appointment updates? 
    Had my blood work done then went again in 48 hours and my numbers tripled 😊 going back some times this week and once my numbers hit 2500 my doctor will schedule me for an appointment. 

    Any big milestones?
    The blood work was great! Can’t wait for my appointment to ease my mind.

    Rants/Raves/Questions?
    I was feeling a lot of symptoms and I’m not anymore (for the past two days) but I have no bleeding. With the high probability of miscarriage I’m terrified, I can’t wait to get to my next blood work appointment to see if everything is progressing as it should. Has anyone else felt symptoms then they went away?
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  • kweller2019kweller2019 member
    edited September 2022
    @fj523 My pregnancy symptoms vary from day to day. And sometimes they go away completely which scares the bejesus out of me. They seem to eventually come back though.

    @swmama27 I know the testing and the ultrasounds aren't going to make the anxiety go completely away. I'm just hoping for some relief. I know the latter part of the pregnancy and the early days after birth are going to be the hardest on me after losing a 2 week old in the NICU suddenly. I'm hoping to feel some relief after get past 8 weeks which is when my previous miscarriages happened. It's good to know that it comes and goes though. The anxiety has been pretty constant for me thus far.

    @acamomma18 So it's not just me that's scared of the genetic screening then? Not scared of the test, but scared it will bring bad news?
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  • acamomma18acamomma18 member
    @kweller2019 exactly!! Afraid it will bring bad news 😬 deep breathes…
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  • BourbonBiscuitsBourbonBiscuits member
    Weeks/EDD? 5 weeks

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? We had one mmc at 9w3d in July of 2020. I had a D&C that month, ended up with heavy bleeding until ultimately hemorrhaging in the ER in late September. When they finally did an ultrasound, it turned out that I had massive RPOC that my body was trying to expel, which is why the progesterone I'd been prescribed wasn't stopping the bleeding. Finally had an emergency second D&C with hysteroscopy and ended up with some scar tissue, but conceived our rainbow boy the next cycle. He's 13 months now. 

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically exhausted, but otherwise good. Emotionally really really anxious. This baby is a surprise - my last pregnancy was terrifying. Every little twinge sent me into a panic and I'm nervous to feel that way again for the next 9 months. Hoping my OB will let me come in for an early scan.

    Any appointment updates? Not yet - I've been too anxious to call yet. I'll call this afternoon when my boss is out of the office.

    Any big milestones? Not yet!

    Rants/Raves/Questions? Am I the only one peeing on sticks still and comparing darkness? Gotta stop doing that.
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  • kweller2019kweller2019 member
    edited September 2022
    @BourbonBiscuits I've been peeing on sticks constantly, so you're not alone. Its gotten to where the control line barely shows up any more which caused more worry. Apparently that is called dye stealing and its from having such a high level of HcG in your urine. So I guess that's a good thing. Make that appointment though. It will probably put your mind at east a bit.

    @acamomma18 Right??? I know that given I had one healthy pregnancy (she passed at 2 weeks from a abdominal infection) that the likelihood of this one having genetic issues is less, but I can't help but worry!
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  • acamomma18acamomma18 member
    @BourbonBiscuits the twinges!!! I hate it. I’m currently feeling some light cramping at 6w5d and keep checking my underwear for blood. Deeeeep breathes. At this point, we have no information to suggest anything is wrong 💕 I agree with @kweller2019 about booking that appointment! It’s something to look forward to 🌈🌈🌈
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  • BourbonBiscuitsBourbonBiscuits member
    Got betas drawn yesterday and just got the results - looks fine for 4/5 weeks (although I'd like it to be higher - it's in the right range) so now we wait for tomorrow's results! Waiting waiting waiting ...
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  • lkitchin11lkitchin11 member
    Weeks/EDD?
    7 weeks, due date is may 10 but hopefully I’ll find out for sure next week at my first ultrasound 

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 
    This is about how far along I was when I had my miscarriage. First time being pregnant and passed the fetal tissue on august 4th. I found out I was pregnant again on September 2nd. The miscarriage was not physically very bad (just felt like a period), but I was with my husband in another state for a wedding. I will never forget seeing my fetal yolk sac in the toilet and having to flush it in a hotel. I think that was the most traumatic part of it all. And then of course being around friends and family the next day and having to pretend like nothing was wrong was very difficult.

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
    Emotionally I am worried I haven’t given myself enough time to heal with getting pregnant so quickly after the loss. I never got to tell my parents I was pregnant so I really only have my partner to talk to, and I think boot of us are uncomfortable with it. We’re both trying not to get too excited or attached just in case it happens again, but I can’t help but be hopeful. Physically I am exhausted, constipated, and have sore boobs. A little bit of cramping and waves of nausea here and there. 

    Any appointment updates?
    I have my first ultrasound appointment a week from today that can’t come soon enough. I am so anxious to hear a heart beat and have my OB tell me everything looks normal. 

    Any big milestones?
    not really, but I am somewhat excited to be feeling naysay occasionally as I never did with the one I lost

    Rants/Raves/Questions?
    this isn’t much of a rant but I just wish miscarriage wasn’t such a taboo subject. I’ve told a few coworkers about my pregnancy and precious miscarriage and both women told me they also had miscarriages! They also both have healthy children now. It’s just so much more common than I had ever thought.
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  • andie_evynandie_evyn member
    Hi everyone! My name is Andie, I’m 33 years old and 6 weeks pregnant with our first child. Due date is ~ May 16th! I’ve had two ectopic pregnancies prior to this pregnancy and had a lot of anxiety leading up to my first scan.

    We had our first placement scan a few days ago and got confirmation that the fetus is in my uterus! That has relieved a TON of anxiety, but hasn’t removed it completely. After everything we went through with the ectopic pregnancies I’m praying that nothing else goes wrong!

    I agree that I wish these topics were more common to talk about! It’s sometime pretty isolating to go through and I was always wishing I could talk about it without making things weird.
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  • BourbonBiscuitsBourbonBiscuits member
    @lkitchin11 I couldn't agree more about wishing it wasn't so taboo. I've shared really openly (in person and on social media) about our loss and the number of women who have reached out to me about their past losses or the losses they've experienced since mine has been incredible. If we don't talk about it and we don't work through it togehter, it'll never get any better. Can I ask why you haven't told families yet? With our last pregnancy (healthy rainbow boy!) we told everyone super early because we knew we'd need extra support if it didn't go well. Obviously that route isn't for everyone, but it helped us feel less alone.
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