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Weekly Randoms September 12

PaturkeyPaturkey member
in February 2023 Moms
Put your randoms here! When my computer cooperates I'll come back and add a gif.
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Re: Weekly Randoms September 12

  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    edited September 2022
    Took my 11yo to the OB/GYN appt with me this afternoon and she wanted to visit the hospital’s cafeteria. When we walked up, they were closing for the day. My question- why would a hospital cafeteria have hours, especially that don’t include dinner hours??? I’m sure if I worked in the cafeteria, I’d appreciate that they close at 4, but everybody else on the property would probably be pretty annoyed for not getting food past 4pm. Just my two cents!!
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    edited September 2022
     @cpk3535 that is weird. I thought it was weird that the little cafe at our hospital closes in the afternoon. Come to think of it, that probably is their "cafeteria" because I don't think they have anything bigger. 
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    @cpk3535 the cafeteria at the hospital I work at closes at 7 every day. And even shorter hours on the weekend. Makes me very grateful I don’t work many nights or weekends lol. 4pm is super early though!
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  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    I’ll pop this over here to see if anybody wants to chat about it! I’m not sure if I want to try for a VBAC or schedule a c-section. Anybody else debating this? I would say that I healed better/quicker from a c-section, but I also think the vaginal birth has some benefits to the baby and/or mama. Any ideas??
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  • ttc3yttc3y member
    edited September 2022
    @cpk3535 The vaginal birth definitely has its benefits particularly with helping build the microbiome of the baby which will help set a strong foundational stage in building and regulating their immune system. It will help reduce their risk of developing allergies, food sentivities, and asthma. I also remember hearing how the baby squeezing through the birth canal also helps clear their lungs and they are less likely to have respiratory problems. In general, a vaginal birth is also an easier recovery for the mother in comparison to a c-section. I only see benefits to a vaginal delivery over a c-section if the c-section is not medically necessary. 
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  • fertile-turtlefertile-turtle member
    @cpk3535 what @ttc3y said is statistically true, but I do know other women who had a similar experience to you. The microbiome thing is both true and understudied, so the extent of the impact later in life isn’t really clear. I would be very wary of anyone who says vaginal seeding solves the problem - a few pilot studies have found that it’s not effective at restoring the microbiome to be similar to a vaginal birth. It’s harmless (assuming you don’t test positive for GBS), but it’s not a fix.

    It’s also probably worth discussing your concerns with your provider - like if tearing was an issue, can they help you prevent it with warm compresses and positioning during pushing? Whatever made your recovery more difficult may be something that can be addressed with different pain management, positioning, etc., or with different preparation now to help with the baby’s positioning for an easier delivery.

    Alternatively, if you decide that a VBAC just isn’t for you, there’s nothing wrong with that. Any decision that leaves you and your baby healthy at the end of the day is the right one, and both a VBAC and a repeat C-section can do that.
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  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    Thank you both @ttc3y and @fertile-turtle! These notes echo my thoughts. I’m probably going the route of only going c-section if absolutely necessary (like last time when baby flipped and went breech last minute). I was planning to do a really natural birth last time, but that obviously didn’t happen, lol! I did notice the difference between my two daughters’ births with the lung clearing, which is mainly why I want to go VBAC. Thank you again!
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  • nwshaynwshay member
    @cpk3535 I have been having the same discussion in my head (and with providers, friends etc). Not VBAC, but vaginal vs. c section after a 4th degree tear. I am leaning towards vaginal. 

    My OB basically recommended me to choose the one that scares me less, if I'm going off worse case scenario (which is my attitude). Essentially, I'm worried about blood loss and healing time, from a C-section (and the affects on baby, like you mentioned), and I'm worried about having another 4dt and not healing as well as I did last time if I go the vaginal route. She said I've already gone through the 4dt, so I know what to expect and there's a lot more that can go wrong with a c-section. The chances of me tearing again are higher than someone who hasn't torn before, but the risk of me healing badly, or having incontinence for life (which is what I'm worried about) are low. 

    I'm just talking out the way I've been trying to make the decision for myself, in hopes that maybe it will help you! Hope you don't mind the rambling
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    @cpk3535 I have not had a VBAC so can't comment on it from experience but I think you sound like you've got a good plan and I just echo that whatever works best for you is the best decision <3

    @nwshay **TW birth trauma** I am sure 4dt was very tough to deal with. I had a 3c almost 3d tear with my first (he came out in a single push and hit me in the back of the leg bc I was on my side) and I had to have a spinal tap for them to stitch me up afterwards. In order to  minimize the chances of it happening again with my daughter, we had a birth plan that involved giving birth on my side with the MW holding my perineum to give it extra support during delivery. I was able to breathe her out (rather than push) and the tearing was minimal enough that the midwives were able to stitch me up themselves just using some laughing gas for pain relief. I definitely still tore, but it was less than the first time around. I will be planning a similar birth this time. I hope a post-tearing success story helps to reassure you if vaginal delivery is the route you choose, but again, I support whatever choice you make!
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    On a totally different random note - friends please grant me strength. I have to spend 2 hours at a park for my son's 9th birthday today playing happy families with my ex-husband. I just keep telling myself it's for my son and he'll have a great time even if I have to spend the two hours actively deep breathing 😂 I wish I could at least have a nice big glass of wine to wash it down this evening but we're having tacos for dinner so that's a close second. 😁
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  • ttc3yttc3y member
    @nwshay A pelvic physical therapist can help prepare your body to reduce the risk of incontinence and possibly a 4dt. When I met my pelvic physical therapist, I learned that it’s a fine balance between making sure the birth canal is flexible but not overstretched to avoid tearing. Perineal massage and the EPI-NO may be helpful strategies but I don’t think the science is clear whether they help or not.  However, it probably doesn’t hurt to implement either of these tactics if you choose to birth vaginally. As much as I love science that offers great guidance on lots of topics and issues, it doesn’t always have all the answers. Sometimes we need to follow our intuition. 

    Overall, I agree with everyone else that it’s up to the mother on which is the best option for her in how she wants to birth her baby - vaginal or c-section. 
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    @Paturkey birthday parties are hard enough even without exes. I hope it goes well! 
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    @seeds_of_joy Thanks! It was actually totally fine. There was so much chaos keeping an eye on a dozen 8- & 9-year-olds in a public park that I hardly had to deal with my ex at all and the kids had a wonderful time. Phew!!
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