PGAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-In: 9/8-9/14

hestia-is-wearie · September 2022

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc.

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Weeks/EDD?

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

katana3700 · September 2022

Had my second draw today for hcg level and just got off the phone with the nurse. It only rose by 53% from a 57 to an 88 but they told me it's a good sign.
I got scheduled for my first appointment and us for Oct 6th.

I feel better mentally though I'm still hyperfocusing on every could be symptom to make myself feel like it won't be another Chemical pregnancy.

acamomma18 · September 2022

I just responded on the other week’s post, but I’m back lol!

I’ll be ~5 weeks tomorrow and am feeling nervous about making an appointment for fear of another MC 😢 I’m also going on a girls’ trip tomorrow for self-care after my MC in July. Feeling nervous about flying, but I know it will be fine.

Thank you for holding space, everyone! Pregnancy after loss is rough.

swmama27 · September 2022

Hi everybody on here, congrats but also I feel the anxiety we all have in a way💕

Weeks/EDD? 5w3-4d

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? I’ve shared this but I’ll share again, a 16 week loss in May and then a chemical following that. Luckily the chemical happened quickly and I was kind of aware of it. 16 week loss was very upsetting, although I was anxious from the get due to some early bleeding. Just had *that feeling*. I also have a 7 year old who was a very easy pregnancy.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

I do not have many symptoms! I had none with my first son and all of them with the son I lost. So I’m not too worried about it.

crazy dreams, waking up at 3 am, craving salt, not wanting sweets, increased CM, fatigue and mood swings- nothing else yet. Not even too much boob pain!

i did wake up extremely fatigued today- more than I’ve been yet.

Any appointment updates?

I was really lucky and got to see gestational sac and egg yolk yesterday and start of fetal pole. My husband and I both said we felt good about trying in August and having a may baby so we went for it despite a uterine infection I had at the time (I took doxycycline for it) so I’m excited and want to hold onto the optimism I have but also anxious!

Any big milestones?

just getting through every day right now

Rants/Raves/Questions?

does anybody else have yellow cm? I get it randomly with no other symptoms but wondering if I need to check for BV? It’s all mostly clear but sometimes I notice it being off white/ yellow, everything is making me nervous right now!

swmama27 · September 2022

I think it’s good you’re making a space for yourself! I would recommend a mask for Covid precautions (maybe they require it still?) but people are pregnant and fly and don’t even know at this time (:

doggymom2babymama · September 2022

Weeks/EDD? 5 weeks, 4 days

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? A MMC last November- found out via ultrasound and had a D&C. Next two were chemical in May and June. So this is my 4th pregnancy.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Right now very nervous because I had 2 CP last time at 5-5 and a half weeks, the same point I’m at now. But I actually feel pregnant this time around and am taking progesterone. So I’m more hopeful but cautiously so.

Any appointment updates?
I’ve been too nervous to schedule an appointment yet, I want to make it to 6 weeks before I do.

Any big milestones? Not yet

Rants/Raves/Questions?
My body isn’t sure what to make of this all yet- part of me is excited and the other part fearful and nervous that I’ll just miscarry again. The doctors haven’t found anything wrong to suggest why I can’t have a healthy pregnancy. This waiting game absolutely sucks and not sure what I can really do differently if I can do anything.

hugarainbow2023 · September 2022

I had a MMC in Feb. I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant with our rainbow. I’m a little anxious. This pregnancy feels different than the last one so I’m taking that as a good sign. My first ultrasound sound is in a week. My OB is seeing me early due to my MMC. I’m worried about having PTSD. Taking it one day at a time.

hugarainbow2023 · September 2022

Just updated my username to hugarainbow2023

tzumama · September 2022

Weeks/EDD?
6 weeks today! EDD 5/6/23

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)?
I’ve had three losses, 1 at 16 weeks, 1 at 8 weeks, and one super early at barely 5. Found out with the first two at ultrasounds and the third due to bleeding and timing they didn’t even have me go in. My first one I was so anxious and not ready to have a baby I was sad but kind of just blocked it out but my second one broke me. It tore me up and has haunted me to this day. It was during Covid and getting care was awful. The med student learned how to use a speculum during the exam and I was all by myself. My Magnolia had become my whole life in just 8weeks. The third brought back all of that pain.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Currently I’m feeling ✨numb✨. It doesn’t feel real and while I’m thankful and grateful and blessed that this is happening I am so scared.

It’s a surprise and dad is still processing so that’s not helpful.

Physically I am super nauseous and exhausted which I’m taking as good signs as with my second miscarriage I felt too good for it to be true.
Any appointment updates?
The earliest appointment with my OBGYN is 10/4/22 I’ll be 9 weeks 3days.

I did schedule an elective ultrasound at 8 weeks 09/24 and a sneak peek gender rest for 09/29.

Any big milestones?

None yet.

Rants/Raves/Questions?

I guess my question is how to respond to people who are shocked that I’m not jumping up and down with joy? I have one friend who understands as she’s dealt with loss but my friends are super excited and want to buy stuff and I’m just so hesitant. I am happy and thankful but scared to let myself be happy.

krb99 · September 2022

@cait32 Basically you wrote my post for me, I’m also obsessing about how dark my lines are, and feel guilty for wanting to be on the loss thread when my losses were so “easy,” relatively speaking.

@katana3700 Congrats on the good beta results! If it would make you feel better and you don’t mind the blood draws, you could ask for more serial betas for reassurance that they’re still normal. It’s hard when it’s so early you can’t see anything on ultrasound.

@jgolson18 Flying will be fine, as you said. I think everyone worries an activity will mess things up, but I think of the uterus as being solidly within your body. Pressure whether from changing altitudes or bearing down can hold things closed and provide support underneath the uterus, and if human bodies were meant to only be on bed rest and relaxed in pregnancy then humans would have not lasted this long because pregnancy makes you constipated, lol. This is what I tell myself to help with anxiety that I shouldn’t be doing things so if it’s weird I’m sorry.

@swmama27 Yay for ultrasound showing things!

@doggymom2babymama The waiting is interminable and it seems like once I get over one wait there’s another wait!

@hugarainbow2023 Good name choice! ❤️

@tzumama That stinks that people don’t understand feeling meh about early pregnancy when you’ve had losses. There are whole superstitions/cultural practices about buying baby things only late in pregnancy, probably because lots of people felt they didn’t want to let themselves celebrate until they were more reassured. How you respond I guess depends on the person, but just know that they’re weird for being shocked, you’re not weird for the way you feel.

Weeks/EDD? 4w0d

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 2 CP earlier this year

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Feeling better today because I got beta results with a good rise, the first time this year that’s happened. Also because I think I might be having a little nausea and it’s reassuring to finally have a symptom.

Any appointment updates? Lol, I guess I need to make one.

Any big milestones? Nausea! Unless it’s happening because I just ate something bad. 🙃

Rants/Raves/Questions? Just wanted to share the miscarriage odds reassurer website: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer It can give you your odds of *not* miscarrying, which is nice.

knottie4d469303442e439f · September 2022

This website is amazing!!!! Thank you for sharing

hurricanekb · September 2022

Weeks/EDD? 5 week 2 days

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? We lost one around 5 weeks back in June. It was tough and scary and embarrassing and maddening. I had only told my boyfriend about being pregnant the day before.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically I am feeling good. Tired but good. Emotionally I am probably more of a mess than I show. I don't think of myself as "pregnant" but instead I'm "still pregnant". I feel like I failed previously and that once we tell people we're expecting that anyone who knows about June will have all eyes on me. I know that's not right but it's got me anxious.

Any appointment updates? I had an HCG draw last Wednesday for piece of mind. Unfortunately I tested + for covid that night and couldn't do a 2nd draw. My OB did put in a 2nd order for the 19th/21st if I want to do them. Otherwise my first appt is the 28th.

Any big milestones? Just passing the 5 week mark was relieving to me. I think I'll feel that way with every passing week.

kweller2019 · September 2022

Weeks/EDD? 5 weeks 4 days

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? I've had 4 losses before 8 weeks over the past 8 years, and we lost our 2 week old in August of 2021.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically I'm doing okay. Very tired and can barely wear a bra because I'm so sore. Emotionally I'm terrified. I want to have another baby so badly, but I'm terrified of losing another baby. I'll feel more secure once we get to 8 weeks, but I'll be holding my breath again from 25 weeks on because that's when my Raven quit growing due to preeclampsia causing her to come by emergency c-section at 30 weeks. I'm trying so hard to stay positive that things will turn out better this time, but I'm not only terrified for my baby but also that I may actually lose my own life this time like I came so close to last time.

Any appointment updates? I have my first OB appointment on Friday. Starting early so we can hopefully keep me healthy from early on and catch the preeclampsia before it affects the baby or me this time.

Any big milestones? I'm waiting to hopefully get past 8 weeks, and then I won't start worrying again until week 24.

ajmrjv2228 · September 2022

I am 5 weeks EDD is may 16.

I had a loss in December 2021 (MMC) and again in April 2022 (chemical).

I am nervous, but trying to stay in a positive place. I have not been able to bring myself to go to a spin class (used to go 4-5 times a week). I started bleeding there with my last MC. I have some symptoms but I get nervous when they come and go. My boobs haven’t really hurt for 2 days and that was the tell tale sign with both MCs. I am not cramping or bleeding though.

8 week ultrasound is 10/5 and I am just praying I hear a heartbeat.

acamomma18 · September 2022

@krb99 thanks for the vote of confidence! And that website is a relief 😅

beremerson · September 2022

Hi all!

5w0d today! Found out VERY early that we were expecting again. It's been a big mixture of emotions that's for sure. We had MC back at the end of May at 15 weeks. To say it was a traumatic experience was an understatement. My husband and I went in for a regular US as planned (I had no bleeding or pain) but they found no heartbeat. I'm on bloodthinners so we had to wait 24 hours until they were out of my system to even begin the process. We were in the hospital for 72 hours and I finally delivered our 2 ounce, 5 cm baby boy. He was perfect... of course we went through all the testing and everything came back normal. Turns out I have a slight bicornuate uterus (only about 1cm divide) - but they still don't know what caused it. Needless to say, hubs and I waited until we were both ready to try again and it didn't take very long to get that positive result! Just very nervous and cautious (even more so than last time around). Every little twinge of pain (gas most likely) or weird feeling I'm thinking something is wrong. My OB said that because it was only our first MC we are able to meet as normally scheduled - first appt. isn't until Oct. 17 bc we are on vacay during the 9th week. Just hoping for a happy and healthy pregnancy this time around!

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PGAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-In: 9/8-9/14

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