Hey guys, bit of a long one but I am curious if anyone else has any issues working in there first trimester? I am about 10 weeks pregnant, first time mom. I work outside in the hot summer sun all day doing hard labor taking care of nursery plants. I have to take breaks constantly and even when I do the inside facility has no air conditioning. I eat plenty of healthy snacks and drink 3-6 liters of water just while at work but my body feels like it is constantly collapsing.
A few weeks ago I had to cut my 8 hour days to 6 hour days and even then there are days where I either can’t finish out the day because I am so exhausted I about pass out or I miss a day because I worked so hard the other days that my body just gives out on me or my mind gies out on me and I break down or have a panic attack (thankfully the latter has only happened once recently).
I feel so guilty that I keep missing days but I need to keep my hours if I am to keep my insurance. My husband and I have been discussing just paying cash and canceling insurance so I don’t have to worry about my hours and it would not be much difference in how much we pay.
My boss has been very kind about this but I feel like a failure because I can’t seem to ‘suck it up’ as many other woman seem to do. Is there anyone that can relate or have any advice?
@foxofmoore - Thankfully I have a desk job, because there's no way I'd be able to work out in the heat battling nausea. Do you qualify for FMLA? I believe if you use a few of your FMLA hours instead of just regular PTO, they can't penalize you, or take away your insurance.
@foxofmoore I’m nearly 14 weeks and I don’t understand how people with regular jobs and/or kids survive. To be perfectly honest, my job is almost entirely work from home. I haven’t worked a full day since I was 6 weeks pregnant. I’m mostly working half days and just not telling anyone. I keep my computer open next to me so I can respond quickly if someone Slacks me, but for most of the summer, I have been disfunctional until noontime. And it’s not like I’m watching TV or anything. I’ve just been laying on the couch with my eyes shut, too sick to sleep and too sick to look at my phone. But by the afternoons I’ve felt better and I’ve done my best to be as productive as I can be. I’ve also finished up a few projects over the weekend when necessary. I’m lucky because I’ve had basically the same job for 9 years, so it’s been possible for me to get away with not working as much, and also, my work load is lightest in the summer. I really feel for you! I heard a lot of stories of women who are able to power through the agony, but some of us (like myself) are incapable of doing that. If I didn’t have such flexibility with work I would have had to take a leave or quit for sure.
@foxofmoore I totally feel you on the exhaustion. I work a desk job and I haven’t been able to finish full days for the past few weeks. I’m self employed and my husband and I own the business. I’ve had to completely lean on him to get things done since I take frequent desk naps, go home early, and just sit at my desk staring into the screen not accomplishing anything.
I mentioned something to my mom about it and she assured me that the exhaustion starts to go away in the 2nd trimester so I’m hoping it gets better in the next couple weeks. Im so glad that your boss is understanding - I know it sucks not being able to put in 100% every day but leaning on those around you is so important on this journey so don’t feel too bad about needing special accommodations. It’s definitely not out of the ordinary. I’m a crazy workaholic so stepping back from the day to day and asking my clients for more time on projects and my husband for more help has been so frustrating but at the same time idk how else to get it done so I’m trying to make peace with that. Glad to hear your husband is so supportive too! That makes bad situations so much better.
Maybe try talking to your doctor especially for the anxiety/mental health aspect to see if they have any recommendations (or maybe even a doctors note can help). There are many laws that protect jobs for people who have health issues so they may have some recommendations. I had to leave work many years ago for a few months after I had a full on mental breakdown at my old job. My doctor helped me navigate all the doctor notes/disability paperwork and what legalese you use to ensure that my employer kept my job available for me and I didn’t lose my benefits.
@disneybaby23 your energy should come back on the second trimester.
I have to work on site so I took a nap on my office floor the other day. I typically lay on my floor with my feet up the wall listening to my audiobook but I fell asleep haha. My boss had a good laugh luckily.
@marebear15 I just looked up some of FMLA and it sounds like unfortunately it only works for companies with 50 employees or more. My work is very small, we maybe have 20 employees. I am grateful that at least my employer is being flexible with me, I am more worried about what if they decide to change their minds for whatever reason. But I am going to talk to the insurance rep when he comes in this month to get some more concrete answers.
@excitedforpiscesbaby I appreciate hearing your story, makes me feel not so alone!! I would probably be feeling the same even if I had a job like that lol. There are definitely days where I just feel like saying screw it and quitting but I got one more debt to pay off this year and then gonna save up so I can take as much time with baby when he(or she) comes! Some days it sure does not feel like I can do it though.
@disneybaby23 your story is very comforting, I do also keep hearing about that 2nd trimester but boy does it feel so far away! That is awesome that your husband is also so supportive. It is so hard to lean on my coworkers (especially when they do not listen as well and don’t do things quite as I would, a little on the messy side haha) but really I think it is the heat and humidity and lack of comfortable seating that really weighs on me.
I will be talking to my doctor for sure although unfortunately we are having issues in that area too, they never answer their after hours phone and we already had to fire the first doctor. I had a concussion years ago and have worked and improved my mental health so much but I guess this stress and exhaustion has maybe brought some stuff back up.
@foxofmoore Are you able to request from your boss to do less labor intensive work, if that’s possible for you, while you’re in the thick of 1st trimester nausea? Sometimes it does let up on 2nd tri, but sometimes it can stick with people through pregnancy. Remember to be kind to yourself! You are growing a whole person. But perhaps your boss can help make some accommodations for you, and if you have a good relationship with them, it may be good to have an honest conversation around your anxiety about asking for that flexibility and they may offer you more reassurances!
@foxofmoore I feel you. I'm an electrical apprentice so my days are also mostly outdoors and labor intensive. I've had to call in one day so far cause I did not feel like pucking from a ladder 🤣. Employers should be understanding. And I wouldn't fret about "not sucking it up" enough. You're growing a human. If there is ever a time to give yourself some slack it's now.
@heytallmama yes they have already put me on what they call ‘light duty’ but it is such a small place that I am often called to help with non light duty tasks. I have cut back what I do there immensely already but walking around in the sun all day is still draining. We are getting me to do some computer stuff but there just is very minimal amount of that in this business. Thankfully we have an open and honest relationship, I am always upfront with them and they receive it well, I think it is me and my work ethic that make me feel so bad about it. However hearing from you all is making me this situation feel not as heavy :)
@gravcass you go girl! I am not sure I would trust myself to climb ladders right now haha. Thank you for your kind words, I have never been good at going easy on myself but will keep trying!
My mom has been really rough on me about having all day sickness and kept telling me that “it can’t be that bad! I never had any kind of morning sickness when I was pregnant with you. You wouldn’t have it either then” lol because that’s how it works.. anyways, she went on a first date yesterday and they went whale watching. She got SUPER sea sick and puked almost the entire time.
Now I’m not ever happy when someone gets sick. But damn did that ever put a smile on my face lol
#muggsd What a handsome little boy with those dimples 🤗 we just found out by blood test that we are having a boy, so I can't help myself but melt evertime I see a baby boy in public...💙 Your smiley boy is precious!!
@foxofmoore I'm a little late to the party here but I just wanted to reassure you that you're definitely not a failure for struggling. Pregnancy alone kicks butt and fatigue is so so common. On top of that, extreme heat and sun exposure is dangerous for pregnant people. And manual labor is already hard on the body, let alone when you're growing a whole new person! So definitely cut yourself some slack and as frustrating as it is to not be able to do what you normally do, give yourself grace and understanding.
@babymac4321 it gets on my nerves when people try to downplay symptoms based off their own experiences. The truth is she probably doesn't remember how bad it was! I would absolutely be amused if my mom said that then got sick. Karma.
@muggsd oh my gosh what a precious little boy! Happy birthday 🎉
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@muggsd Your son is so cute and happy! Happy 1st birthday!
His little hat reminded me of this old pic of my husband - it's one of those silicone Bundt pans that he turned inside out. This picture made me laugh so hard. Anyway, all in the spirit of keeping things truly random
In other random and wonderful news, we're about to go to a 3-hour-long free open taco bar at a new Mexican restaurant! Just have to leave them a review afterwards. Is that stopping me from chowing down now on my homemade chipotle hummus to save my appetite for later? Noooo, it is not, lol.
This is totally random and I apologize for being Mia for a few days but my fiancé and I decided to go down to the court house yesterday since we both had off work and got married! Figured it would be easier to do it that way and throw a big party later on.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@bbrahmbhatt@mytrueloves@marebear15 thank you so much! Unfortunately no pictures which sucks but it is still a moment I’ll never forget. We just closed on our new house today too!
@k_keyser1996 congrats! How exciting and spontaneous. It’s kind of romantic just with your spouse and no one else there. My husband and I did the same a few years ago.
@disneybaby23 thank you! We wanted to get married before the baby came, but we didn’t want a big wedding while being pregnant if that makes sense. So we decided to do it this way and have a big party to celebrate later on
Random 10:30pm laying in bed thought. When we moved into our house in October, we didn't do anything to it because we plan to tear it down. The previous owners had a little boy and they put glow in the dark stars all over the walls and ceiling of his room. That room became mine. I took them off the walls but left them on the ceiling and I'm 100% going to put something on my ceiling when we re-build.
They're not just nice to look at but they are grounding. I get those terrible thoughts and anxiety at night before I fall asleep, and my therapist said the first thing I need to do is ground myself. In my last house, that was quite difficult in the pitch black because I had nothing to look at. But here, with the stars, all I have to do is lay on my back and look up and I get instant relief. Everyone should have them haha. I ended up buying a pack for my daughter because she loved mine so much.
I just don't like how they look during the day so I'm going to have to figure out something else. Maybe glow in the dark paint?
@miss_lynn9 I have very distinct childhood memories of looking up at the glow in the dark stars on my sister's ceiling when I spent the night with her. It was always so soothing and I felt very safe sleeping under them 😊 I think the idea of painting something pretty on the ceiling sounds wonderful! Recently my husband got suckered into buying some glow in the dark sticky toy balls TikTokers were throwing onto their ceilings. A green one was stuck over our bed for over 6 months. I got used to seeing it up there and was sad when it fell, even though it was hideous 😂
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
marebear15
member
Re: Weekly Randoms (9/5)
A few weeks ago I had to cut my 8 hour days to 6 hour days and even then there are days where I either can’t finish out the day because I am so exhausted I about pass out or I miss a day because I worked so hard the other days that my body just gives out on me or my mind gies out on me and I break down or have a panic attack (thankfully the latter has only happened once recently).
I feel so guilty that I keep missing days but I need to keep my hours if I am to keep my insurance. My husband and I have been discussing just paying cash and canceling insurance so I don’t have to worry about my hours and it would not be much difference in how much we pay.
My boss has been very kind about this but I feel like a failure because I can’t seem to ‘suck it up’ as many other woman seem to do. Is there anyone that can relate or have any advice?
I have to work on site so I took a nap on my office floor the other day. I typically lay on my floor with my feet up the wall listening to my audiobook but I fell asleep haha. My boss had a good laugh luckily.
@excitedforpiscesbaby I appreciate hearing your story, makes me feel not so alone!! I would probably be feeling the same even if I had a job like that lol. There are definitely days where I just feel like saying screw it and quitting but I got one more debt to pay off this year and then gonna save up so I can take as much time with baby when he(or she) comes! Some days it sure does not feel like I can do it though.
@disneybaby23 your story is very comforting, I do also keep hearing about that 2nd trimester but boy does it feel so far away! That is awesome that your husband is also so supportive. It is so hard to lean on my coworkers (especially when they do not listen as well and don’t do things quite as I would, a little on the messy side haha) but really I think it is the heat and humidity and lack of comfortable seating that really weighs on me.
I will be talking to my doctor for sure although unfortunately we are having issues in that area too, they never answer their after hours phone and we already had to fire the first doctor. I had a concussion years ago and have worked and improved my mental health so much but I guess this stress and exhaustion has maybe brought some stuff back up.
@gravcass you go girl! I am not sure I would trust myself to climb ladders right now haha. Thank you for your kind words, I have never been good at going easy on myself but will keep trying!
anyways, she went on a first date yesterday and they went whale watching. She got SUPER sea sick and puked almost the entire time.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@babymac4321 it gets on my nerves when people try to downplay symptoms based off their own experiences. The truth is she probably doesn't remember how bad it was! I would absolutely be amused if my mom said that then got sick. Karma.
@muggsd oh my gosh what a precious little boy! Happy birthday 🎉
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
His little hat reminded me of this old pic of my husband - it's one of those silicone Bundt pans that he turned inside out. This picture made me laugh so hard. Anyway, all in the spirit of keeping things truly random
In other random and wonderful news, we're about to go to a 3-hour-long free open taco bar at a new Mexican restaurant! Just have to leave them a review afterwards. Is that stopping me from chowing down now on my homemade chipotle hummus to save my appetite for later? Noooo, it is not, lol.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
They're not just nice to look at but they are grounding. I get those terrible thoughts and anxiety at night before I fall asleep, and my therapist said the first thing I need to do is ground myself. In my last house, that was quite difficult in the pitch black because I had nothing to look at. But here, with the stars, all I have to do is lay on my back and look up and I get instant relief. Everyone should have them haha. I ended up buying a pack for my daughter because she loved mine so much.
I just don't like how they look during the day so I'm going to have to figure out something else. Maybe glow in the dark paint?
Recently my husband got suckered into buying some glow in the dark sticky toy balls TikTokers were throwing onto their ceilings. A green one was stuck over our bed for over 6 months. I got used to seeing it up there and was sad when it fell, even though it was hideous 😂
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023