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Mom guilt

doulacallaidoulacallai member
in Parenting
Who else is struggling with mom guilt?

I have such a hard time allowing myself to take breaks. I have two young children and I feel like I need to always be “on” for them, even though I have a supportive partner who is very involved and helpful. But still, I’m the mom, right? I feel like despite all I do it’s never enough.

I’m part of a community that is hosting a free event on the issue of mom guilt, facilitated by a midwife and social worker. I'm really looking forward to this event and wanted to share: https://www.sevenstarling.com/events/navigating-feelings-of-guilt

Does anyone else have recommendations for easing guilt around parenting? Any good resources, articles, books, or podcast episodes? What has helped you find balance between work, parenting, maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner, and self-care?
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Re: Mom guilt

  • peanutcashew21peanutcashew21 member
    It's a cultural thing. Try changing the conversations and expectations from how do I do this, to what can we do. American culture has limited acceptance of extended family households. It's difficult to make the mental shift. We're not supposed to be doing this alone. That's what will finally get rid of Mom guilt. It's the knowledge that we live in a culture that lies about what parenting is, and what it actually looks like. Let's start by changing laws to require giving equal parental leave to men & women, and increasing that amount to equal what most first world countries offer their citizens. Let's stop hiding the facts about what it takes to recover from a C-section! It's major abdominal surgery!! Women need time to recover! Spouses & partners need time to help! Those without a partner should be given support.... Everyone who has a baby should have support from day one! Support should be an expectation, not a luxury. The more I learn & experience, the more mad I get about what is not common knowledge in the US, and how hard I had to look to find answers.
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  • nicademus20nicademus20 member
    I still have mom guilt every day, and my little guy is nearly 7 months old. He cries when I leave the room to use the bathroom if it is just him and I. I can't take him with as sometimes it is "please, just 2-5 minutes by myself, please". 
    I feel like I Always have to entertain him, which I do enjoy. But sometimes I also just want to watch a show without having to wait for him to sleep. 
    So I can't do that, because the guilt over not entertaining him comes in. There's all that "interact with your child" that comes into my mind. Which has been slammed into everyone's heads, and is true and good to do so---but it's never really covered to take self care time. 
    Just a show, an hour, or something, to just relax and let him play with his toys by himself. 
    I still can't do that without my thoughts attacking me. Time is precious. 
    I will check in on this post, I do hope to look forward to what that event you're going to says! 
    :)
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