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Second Time Moms Thread

thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
in January 2023 Moms
This is a thread for second time mamas to discuss things related to their older children! I feel like there are a few of us and I don’t want to bog down their weekly threads with things relating to my living child as it could be hurtful to some mamas who have yet ti experience a living child and irrelevant to first time mamas! 

How many living children do you have?

how old are they? 

Tell us about them! 
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Re: Second Time Moms Thread

  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    I have one son who is 20 months old :) he is a super spirited happy loving little boy who has had major sleep problems all his life and we just found out he has fluid in his ears and enlarged tonsils and adenoids contributing to sleep apnea. So he may need tubes and surgery in the near future and although I am relieved to find a true reason as to WHY he wakes up literally every 1-2 hours all night long I am also feeling a bit of despair knowing it’ll continue until he is seen by an ENT and then treated (which he may not even be seen until he is 2. Yay for Canadian healthcare a ridiculous wait lists) so I am dreading knowing I won’t be sleeping for another little while and then potentially having to deal with treatment and a newborn all at once! 

    Anyone have experience with tubes in the ears or adenoids and tonsils surgery in their kids? Any advice!? 
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  • willrunforcookieswillrunforcookies member
    @thankfullyamama oh goodness, that's tough still having not great sleep, and still multiple months to go!  Mine didn't sleep through the night until 22 months and didn't even have a good reason. I'm sorry, hopefully better sleep is coming for your house!

    I have one who will be 4 when this little one arrives. We are in the thick of 3.5 and it is not my favorite age, the power struggles are real and all listening skills have gone out the window. Though they do come up with amazing and creative ideas at this age, and their little minds are hilarious. 
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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @willrunforcookies I could handle 1-2 wakes no issues but every hour is killing me lol. Did your LO STTN from 22 months onward? Sorry to hear the “threenagee” is living at your house. Hopefully the “fantastic fours” hit when this baby is born!
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  • footdrbrittfootdrbritt member
    I have a 2 year old and 5 year old.

    i feel like we JUST got the hang of sleeping most nights and we are going to start all over 😩
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  • jennifer_louisejennifer_louise member
    @willrunforcookies My DD was almost 4 when DS was born and I thought it was a pretty easy transition. She loved having a baby in the house and "helping" out. Hopefully your 4yo will adjust quickly! 

    @footdrbritt ha! My DS has started sleeping horribly the past few weeks and I'm convinced it's because he's trying to prepare me 😭 

    I have two LOs. DD is almost 6, and DS is almost 2. They are pretty fun right now, and seem to get along great. In fact, I'm feeling a little sad to be messing up their bestie dynamic by adding in another kiddo. I'm also nervous about DS because he's still such a mommy's boy. He will probably not appreciate sharing me with a newborn. DD is super excited for another, though. Could be interesting 😅.
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  • willrunforcookieswillrunforcookies member
    @thankfullyamama yes! Fortunately something finally clicked and everyone got to sleep through the night again.

    @jennifer_louise this is good to hear! There is definitely excitement right now as I get asked almost daily if little sister is here yet 😂. 
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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @jennifer_louise I’m super worried my DS will feel displaced too because he is a huge mamas boy also lol fingers crossed they don’t feel too bad when these babies come!
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  • knottiea2f06a02d7f6876cknottiea2f06a02d7f6876c member
    My daughter will be exactly 3 when her brother is born. She sleeps good if I sleep with her,  I need to break this bad habit. 🥴
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  • zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    @thankfullyamama That sounds incredibly hard! I can’t imagine that many wake ups at that age. I hope you can get him to the ENT faster than you think. Does it help to pester them? DS, who just turned three, had tubes put in his ears around 19/20 months. He had five ear infections in 5 months (he was supposed to get referred after I think three but just waiting the weeks between referral and appt, and then surgery, he kept getting infections). I was nervous for his surgery but the worst part was just being in the hospital waiting for our turn with a toddler who wasn’t allowed to eat all morning. The recovery was easy. He still goes to the ENT every 6 months. Last time we were there one tube looked like it might be coming out so we’ll see next month what it looks like. As their ears grow the tubes fall out, and often they don’t need them put back as it means their natural tubes have grown enough to prevent fluid build up.
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  • zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    How many living children do you have? How old are they? DS just turned 3 yesterday. He is so funny and smart. He loves trains and trucks, and will spend hours playing with his trains. I’m currently a SAHM. Hoping to find a school that’s a good fit for him before this baby comes, but childcare is tough around here. We are getting some threenager moments over here too. My sister scared me by saying my niece was very easy until she was 3.5 😬
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  • sparklingdiamondsparklingdiamond member
    I have two living children, one is 8 and the other is 3 :smile:  

    The 3 year old loves copying EVERYTHING my 8 year old does so he always likes to try to get her to do things that get her in trouble :lol:

    We just started her in gymnastics and my son in karate.  We will see how that goes!  So far she loves the gymnastics.  She was always climbing and jumping off of things!


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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @zamoraspin how did your little one do pre and post op at that age!? I’m definitely super anxious about my LO undergoing surgery for his ears or tonsils and adenoids but he clearly very uncomfortable and these night wakes are not sustainable!
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  • zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    @thankfullyamama I can’t speak to the tonsils and adenoid recovery, but for the tube surgery, the procedure only took a few minutes. I think they put him under with gas, I don’t even think he required an IV at all. We met him post op and once he was awake we were able to go home. He was a little loopy at first but I only kept him home that day and the next day (and honestly I don’t think I needed to the next day). 
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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @zamoraspin oh that’s good to know it wasn’t too bad!!
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  • willrunforcookieswillrunforcookies member
    @zamoraspin 3.5 is something else for sure... they just test all of the boundaries (and my patience) to the extreme. Hopefully yours skips that phase!  It's nothing to be scared of, but ooof. 
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  • miracleshappen04miracleshappen04 member
    edited August 2022
    @thankfullyamama - I have a 9 yo son who had ENT surgery to remove his tonsils, adenoids and got ear tubes when he was 5. It’s funny; all he remembers is eating a lot of popcicles during that time 

    I was dead against it, but when his chronic infections affected his hearing, we finally found (the 4th!) doctor I liked and trusted. 

    Since then, our son has:

    - finally slept through the night (yep, took 5 years! Apparently, even a slight blockage can wake them up several times. He used to sleep walk; not anymore).

    - breathed through his mouth (mouth breathing even affects oral health - he had all his cavities before the surgery).

    - been hearing and breathing much better, thank God.

    Good luck!
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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @miracleshappen04 that is SO good to hear! We see the ENT mid October and I am hoping they can promptly treat him and just surgically correct all! OMG HOW DID YOU Deal with night waking for 5 years
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  • willrunforcookieswillrunforcookies member
    Is anyone else needing to transition a kid from crib to bed before the new baby arrives?  Currently all is good with the crib but I also don't want all of the changes happening at once and of course want the nursery fully set up before December. 
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  • jennifer_louisejennifer_louise member
    @willrunforcookies we're probably going to have to do this too. How old is your LO? We probably don't need to act too quickly bc the baby will be in the bassinet for a few months, but I'm wondering how to time all these transitions 😅
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  • beccaneubeccaneu member
    I have a 3 year old son who is super active despite refusing to eat or sleep.  I don’t know how he does it but I wish I had even a quarter of his energy right now.  Despite being a typical ‘I can do it myself’ threenager, he’s also still very clingy and only wants me to help him with things.  I’m a little scared of what that’s going to mean once baby gets he and he has to share mommy.
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  • willrunforcookieswillrunforcookies member
    @jennifer_louise LO will be 4 when baby arrives, so I'm already on borrowed time with the crib haha, but climbing out hasn't happened so we've kept the convenience of containment! I just want to time it so a bed is excitement and not resulting from the baby. 
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  • thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @willrunforcookies @jennifer_louise we transitioned from cosleeping (crib attached to our bed so he kind of slept in it lol) to a double floor bed in his own room and it actually went very well. Two months in he does amazing for the most part and only fell out twice but we have a nice plush rug beside it lol I feel like we as adults antagonize over these transitions so much and then our kiddos end up surprising us OR we realize they aren’t ready and try again later type thing! But we also have the nursery pretty well set up for baby and have been talking A LOT about how it’s for the baby in my belly and showing DS what he can and can’t touch/ where things will be 
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