Blended Families

Should I give my son a half sibling

Help please. I am so confused and conflicted. Currently 4.5 weeks pregnant. I have a 3.5yo son who lives with me 50% of the time and his bio dad 50% of the time. I’m pregnant with my boyfriend who lives with me. We’ve been together over a year. He loves my son. I thought I was ready to have a child with him but now that it’s happening I’m terrified. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I’m leaning towards not having this child. I can’t imagine, for example, having to say goodbye to my son on Christmas Day half way through and then pretend like I’m fine and be there for the new child. I literally don’t think I could deal with the guilt. Advice? Tips? Am I a horrible person for wanting to preserve my amazing relationship with my son?

Re: Should I give my son a half sibling

  • Hi. I can’t tell you what to do, of course. Here’s my situation…

    I have a son who I placed for adoption four years ago. I now have a 3 month old son. I thought I would feel incredibly guilty for choosing to keep my second son, even though now my whole life is different than it was four years ago. And I do feel guilty sometimes. But I also have a sweet little baby. I know my first son will one day understand the situation, and I don’t think me having another child will ruin potential for us to have a good relationship. 

    The boys won’t have the exact same relationship with me, but both are important and valuable.

    I know this is a VERY different situation, but as far as the guilt, you may feel guilty, but I see it as something to work through rather than run from. 
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