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August 2022 Moms
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Feeling Disconnected and guilty

knottieac68e42e0531b4beknottieac68e42e0531b4be Newbie
in August 2022 Moms
Hello,

I am a first time mom and my journey has not been what I thought it was. My family figured out I was pregnant just days after my test was positive which meant my husband had to tell our families sooner than we wanted. This came with a mix of emotions. My mother and my husbands family are not the easiest people to deal especially for someone like me and my husband who are fairly independent. We had wishes for people to not shop until after the first trimester because we wanted to make sure that everything would be okay with the pregnancy. My mother did not listen which caused problems between her and my husband. My mother in law said to my face that my husband and I would be terrible parents because we didn't pick out a bedding set for the baby and didn't have a theme for the nursery. She also said that we were selfish and impatient people and had no business being parents. My brother in law (who cried when we got engaged a month after him) planned his bachelor party the weekend the baby is due and my husband said he wasn't going to go and he ( the brother in law) hasn't spoken to us since January. and this is just the tip of the drama. All of the other stuff is small in comparison but all of it makes me feel already disconnected from my child and they aren't here yet. and I feel like because I feel disconnected that is why I am not in labor.

is this all in my head? how can start to feel connected? this is all I ever wanted and I feel like I'm doing my child a disservice.
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Re: Feeling Disconnected and guilty

  • Knottie1452431704Knottie1452431704 member
    1) find a therapist and talk to them if you don’t have one already. 2) focus on you, baby, + husband. All these other people and their reactions are distractions. Shield yourself from their poison and focus on you + your baby. Mute text messages. Screen phone calls. Do whatever you need to do to protect your well-being. 
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  • knottiee91dec36f3a699daknottiee91dec36f3a699da member
    You are not alone. My family has been nothing but drama during this whole pregnancy & I feel more stressed than enjoyment & I even went through fertility to try to get pregnant for two years. I’m sue any day & I feel as if this is not even real & worry how I’m going to feel a connection because of all the heartache. But in the end, once you see & hold your baby NOTHING else is going to matter in this world. We also need to remind ourselves that we feel emotions even deeper now that we’re pregnant because of our hormones. It will be okay & you will get through this. You’re going to feel a love for this baby that you’ve never felt with anyone else before. 
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  • knottiee91dec36f3a699daknottiee91dec36f3a699da member
    Oh & I also just got my bedding & my nursery isn’t even fully done & im due any day. Who cares what others think. As long as you have all the essentials the baby needs for when he or she is born the picture worthy stuff can wait. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. 
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