Pets and babies

justkp · July 2022

Hi lovely mamas and mamas to be. I'm sorry if this in line with the board regulations, but it does not seem to apply well to the 'regular threads' and I figured it might apply to others as well. I am looking for advise and from the introductions threat I can see that a lot of you are pet parents as well, so I thought... Who better?

S.O. and I have been talking about getting a cocker spaniel puppy for ages. MIL wants to breed her cocker and the timing is pretty much up to us because we are the only 'known buyer' so to speak.

So. My question is. In your experience what's best - puppy before baby, baby before puppy, how long to wait between baby and puppy etc. - and why? Advantages and disadvantages. What did you do yourself, and what would you recommend?
We are first time parents and first time dog parents (outside of our childhood homes).

Timing-wise based on the dog's cycle we seem to have the option of getting the pup early feb (baby due feb 21) or summer 2023. We both work full time, but if it matters, I expect to take around 8 month of maternity leave after birth and bf approx 3 months after that.

Looking forward to hearing your inputs and experiences. Once again I apologise if this is not allowed, and if there are moderators, feel free to delete if that is the case ❤

codex · July 2022

I haven’t had a baby yet but I have had puppies and dogs before. They are a lot of work and I honestly can’t imagine having a puppy and a newborn at the same time.

Puppies like to chew, need lots of training, don’t understand basic commands that you might want around a baby such as drop or leave it. You also need to house train puppies which is a lot of work!

If it was me I would honestly wait till the summer.

runningyogimama · July 2022

Honestly, as a FTM, I would say neither - especially if you’re having to commit before you’ll even know how your adjustment to motherhood and the first weeks and months with baby will go. My personal transition from 0-1 baby was not so bad after the first few weeks (but I know many moms who struggled the hardest going from 0-1), but I had a magical unicorn of a first baby, who was chill and a good sleeper and not fussy. My second two? lol - colicky, fussy, up every 2-4 hours the first year. And even good sleepers have weeks/months where there are growth spurts and teething and wonder weeks and colds, where you’re going to be super sleep deprived on and off that first year, dealing with a whiny, fussy baby while awake. Do you want to also be dealing with a brand new puppy (I honestly resented and was annoyed by my existing dogs most of the first year with both my first two - I didn’t have the mental energy to deal with more things needing me) with all of their puppy energy and needing to be potty trained and chewing on things and needing walked and needing to make sure they’re never left alone in the same room as the baby, when you’re super sleep deprived and going through the hardest and biggest transition of your life? I don’t say any of that to scare - just to prepare. The first year with a baby/as a mom is HARD and something you truly can’t fathom until you are going through it (and then are past it and can look back). I can’t imagine adding a brand new puppy on top of that (and we did get a puppy - actually two - during the first year of my third’s life, as there was very sad timing of both of our prior dogs passing away within months of each other - but I told my husband when he insisted on getting new dogs that they were HIS 100% responsibilities, because I’m busy with baby things - and he worked from home, and I already knew he was a very hands-on, equal-partner dad of human babies so had nothing to worry about there - and first babies are HARD as a transition for most relationships, also). I personally wouldn’t commit to anything that first year or at least not those first six months - maybe later next year, when you know how things are going? I 100% wouldn’t do it just weeks before, though. Just my thoughts.

tessiesmom26 · July 2022

I have to agree with @runningyogimama. Both becoming a pet parent and human parent are two totally time consuming and all in things, that I personally would never do that close together. I was actually talking to DH and my therapist last night about this, but I honestly don't remember much of the first few months of DS' life, because I felt like I was in a cloud for the majority of that time. You have no clue how your first baby will be, until they get here, and there is no telling if you will have the time/energy (physically or mentally) to give a pup the time and training they will need.

I'm all about having pets and kids, I have a 3YO son and a 9YO Black Lab who are my everything, but if I had to have them both new in our lives at the same time, I know I wouldn't have been able to handle it.

justkp · July 2022

Thanks so much for your inputs, all three ❤ I've been minded to wait until summer myself, and then of course we would still have the option of postponing to the following winter (if we don't have a magical quiet unicorn child 😉 ).

The counterargument I have run into is that we have a combined year of parental leave, when would we else have that time at home. But I'm not sure I like that, actually, because eventually we will get back to work both of us, and it would be bad for the dog to get used to us being around all the time.

Thanks so much for your replies. The last thing I would want is to habour resentmemt towards an innocent puppy! ❤

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