I thought this would be a good place for those of us who are going to be navigating a large age gap between siblings can share our thoughts/feelings/experiences.
Age of other child(ren):
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?:
Age of other child(ren): 6yo will be 7 a few days after due date
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: He kinda already independent so I don’t have to worry about taking care of two toddlers together. Since they will never be in the same school together they will have their own orbits (friends, sports, interests)
Anything else you want to add: but I’m also worried about them having a relationship. They will never been in the same school together
Age of other child(ren): 9, 8, and 3.5 - they will be about to turn 10, about to turn 9, and 4 when baby is born.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I LOOOOOOOOOOVED the 4.5 and 5.5 year age gaps between my oldest two and third when he was born, so I’m looking forward to the 4 year gap with my third and baby (we had originally hoped for more like 2.5-3 year gap, but, you know, life). 2 under 2 life was NOT for me with my first two, so I enjoy the little bigger age gaps.
Anything else you want to add: We wait to tell the kids until we are ready to announce to everyone…has anyone decided when they will? I think we waited until that 10-12 week u/s to tell my girls, but I’ll be almost 13 weeks by the time I go back again, so…I’m not sure if they’ll catch on by then. I’m short and show super early, ha.
All my other children are less than 2 years apart. They are 11, 9.5, 7.5, 6 and 4. This will be an almost 5 year age gap. I'm definitely thankful for the break and I think everyone will love the baby. This is my first time not getting pregnant while still nursing. I will have no other diapers and no toddlers to chase with the newborn (although 2 of them act like it at times). I just hope this one doesn't get lonely down the road. And it'll be a little rough starting over with the baby things. But I'm pretty sure I can get rid of it afterwards!
Great topic! My kids will be 7 and 5 when this baby is born. Strangely, that’s the exact same gap I grew up with (as the youngest). I was also the only girl, so I did feel like an only child at times. This had good and bad aspects 😂 I do love my brothers and idolized them when I was a kid. They weren’t all that great to me, but hey, that’s brothers!
DH and I are actually both youngest kids so I feel like that bias is already coming out with our current 2 kids. We tend to take DD’s side and try to encourage DS to show her a bit more kindness. My hope is that this baby will be so much younger, he won’t pick on it like he does on his sister (2.5 year gap).
Age of other child(ren): 8 and 5, will be 9.5 and 6.5 when baby is born
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I'm looking forward to them being able to be helpful with the baby and also to get a sense of how much f*cking work I did to raise them 🤣 I can hope, right? My DD (younger) "hates babies" so I am a little concerned about that (it's the crying she hates, which is fair, no one likes to listen to a crying baby!) but I think she'll actually be really excited and helpful. My friends have an 8-month-old who came over recently and although DD kept insisting she didn't like him, she was also obsessed with him and kept trying to make him laugh and give him toys
Anything else you want to add: My situation is complicated because this is a blended family. The baby is going to be DS and DD's half-sibling. Their older cousins have a half-sister (not on my side of the family so not my niece) so they're familiar with the concept and my nieces have said to them "we don't call her our half-sister, she's our sister." so I'm hoping that having that framework will help them fully accept their new sibling. But, they are only at my house half time (we have 50/50 shared custody) so I expect there will be quite a bit of jealousy to deal with and the baby will be an 'only child' half the time. I'm hoping that it's all gonna be fine. Any other blended families here? I think I saw one in the intros...
@runningyogimama I am planning to tell my kids in August. They will be with their dad for the first part of summer break and come back to me mid-August. My dating ultrasound is on 8/12 so I will feel more comfortable sharing after that. I should be around 13 weeks at that point.
Age of other child(ren): My DD will be 7 when baby is born
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: DD is so amazing with smaller children. She has a 1.5 year old cousin and is so patient with her when they play together. I look forward to DD having a little playmate.
Anything else you want to add: We probably won’t tell her for as long as we can due to our history of pregnancy loss until we are more confident and comfortable sharing the news. She’s lost a grandparent last September and a dog in February, both unexpectedly. I’d want to minimize any risk of more heartache in case things go sideways.
Age of other child(ren): my daughter is 5, will be almost 6 when baby is born
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I'm looking forward to her understanding more about being gentle, and being able to help out a little. I was really hoping for a close age gap, but I think this will have more pros than cons.
Anything else you want to add: I just can't wait to tell her. She has been asking for a sibling every day for like 2 years, which has been so heartbreaking.
Age of other child(ren): I have an 11yo and a 2 1/2yo, both girls! It’s been a great age gap, and our oldest has been a wonderful help to us.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: This new gap will be two little ones together and I think they will keep each other entertained. Plus with big sis turning into a teenager soon, we know she’s going to want to be a bit more “me” time.
Anything else you want to add: We’ve already told our oldest, and she wasn’t thrilled at first, but she’s gotten over it and moved on to being happy 😊 Out little one would be ecstatic if she knew what we were talking about, lol 😂
My daughter will turn 7 in August and my EDD is Feb 18ish (first appointment is 7/7).
I think my daughter will be a big help. She is drawn to babies (even as a baby in day care, she would comfort and help calm other babies -patting backs, replacing list pacifiers) and the fact that she can basically do most stuff herself is very helpful. But she is not good at playing alone…she constantly needs someone to be with her.
That concerns me with #2 coming. 🤷🏻♀️We will see.
We haven’t even told her yet (she is a blabber mouth☺️)
Age of other child(ren): 8.5 & 6 when baby is born.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: Having two extra sets of hands to help!! I vividly remember potty training my DD while on maternity leave with DS and having to pop him off the boob and set him down to run her to the bathroom. Nightmare. I am trying to work with them now on things they are close to being self sufficient with so they can do them by themselves when baby comes if I am unable to help (making their lunches, bathtime, etc.)
Anything else you want to add: DD & DS are best friends. Literally inseparable. Sleep together, play amazingly together, same friend group. I have some guilt of bringing in a new babe. I don't want the baby to feel left out when it's older and the older two are so close. I also have guilt of bringing in a new babe while my older two are so content with each other. I guess that's all normal and that feeling will go away when the baby gets here.
I have a bigger gap between #2 and 3 (just under 3.5 years) because we were still living with my mom and both in school with no income. 😂 otherwise my kids are all 22-24 months apart.
Age of other child(ren): 11,9,5,3,1 (will be 11,9,6,4,2 in Feb)
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: My girls (the older two) are so so excited. They knew about my ectopic pregnancy last fall and are very excited for us to have another baby even if it means a 4th little brother. They will be helpful. I have to be conscious about not burdening them with the care of their little siblings though.
I am worried about if they will be close. If this works out, this baby will be in Kindergarten when my oldest two are in 12th and 10th grade. They’ll probably move out while he/she is still in elementary school. I hope they will still have a strong bond. Hoping the bunch of other kids in there will help bridge the gap.
Anything else you want to add:
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
Oh and in terms of telling the kids. I didn’t tell the girls 9 and 11 but they (through an innocent mistake) discovered the pee stick pics on my phone so they knew very early on. 🤦🏻♀️ They also discovered the actual pee sticks when looking for my make up (that I never wear and hence hid the pee sticks with) last fall when I had a loss. I guess I stink at keeping the secret. We told the boys (5,3,1 who doesn’t understand) at 8 weeks after a good follow up ultrasound. I don’t mind them randomly telling some people. I think I feel a some pressure to talk openly about my 2 losses because I have had so much success with making babies overall. I don’t mind shedding some light on the subject. I have been very open about my most recent ectopic and I think I would do the same this time. The other reason for me not to share is that I don’t want people to feel like I’ve been pregnant forever come Feb… but let’s be real. This is my 8th pregnancy in 11 years. I have been pregnant forever! 😂
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
Age of other child(ren): (when baby is born) 21, 20, 18, 12
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I guess that I can ask them to babysit sometimes. I'm not sure any of them are going to be impressed TBH
Anything else you want to add: I thought I was FINALLY going to be able to start doing some things for myself and have a little freedom and then BAM, 2 lines.
Re: Large Age Gap
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: He kinda already independent so I don’t have to worry about taking care of two toddlers together. Since they will never be in the same school together they will have their own orbits (friends, sports, interests)
Anything else you want to add: but I’m also worried about them having a relationship. They will never been in the same school together
Me- 25,DH-28
Age of other child(ren): 9, 8, and 3.5 - they will be about to turn 10, about to turn 9, and 4 when baby is born.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I LOOOOOOOOOOVED the 4.5 and 5.5 year age gaps between my oldest two and third when he was born, so I’m looking forward to the 4 year gap with my third and baby (we had originally hoped for more like 2.5-3 year gap, but, you know, life). 2 under 2 life was NOT for me with my first two, so I enjoy the little bigger age gaps.
Anything else you want to add: We wait to tell the kids until we are ready to announce to everyone…has anyone decided when they will? I think we waited until that 10-12 week u/s to tell my girls, but I’ll be almost 13 weeks by the time I go back again, so…I’m not sure if they’ll catch on by then. I’m short and show super early, ha.
DH and I are actually both youngest kids so I feel like that bias is already coming out with our current 2 kids. We tend to take DD’s side and try to encourage DS to show her a bit more kindness. My hope is that this baby will be so much younger, he won’t pick on it like he does on his sister (2.5 year gap).
Age of other child(ren): 8 and 5, will be 9.5 and 6.5 when baby is born
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I'm looking forward to them being able to be helpful with the baby and also to get a sense of how much f*cking work I did to raise them 🤣 I can hope, right? My DD (younger) "hates babies" so I am a little concerned about that (it's the crying she hates, which is fair, no one likes to listen to a crying baby!) but I think she'll actually be really excited and helpful. My friends have an 8-month-old who came over recently and although DD kept insisting she didn't like him, she was also obsessed with him and kept trying to make him laugh and give him toys
Anything else you want to add: My situation is complicated because this is a blended family. The baby is going to be DS and DD's half-sibling. Their older cousins have a half-sister (not on my side of the family so not my niece) so they're familiar with the concept and my nieces have said to them "we don't call her our half-sister, she's our sister." so I'm hoping that having that framework will help them fully accept their new sibling. But, they are only at my house half time (we have 50/50 shared custody) so I expect there will be quite a bit of jealousy to deal with and the baby will be an 'only child' half the time. I'm hoping that it's all gonna be fine. Any other blended families here? I think I saw one in the intros...
@runningyogimama I am planning to tell my kids in August. They will be with their dad for the first part of summer break and come back to me mid-August. My dating ultrasound is on 8/12 so I will feel more comfortable sharing after that. I should be around 13 weeks at that point.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: DD is so amazing with smaller children. She has a 1.5 year old cousin and is so patient with her when they play together. I look forward to DD having a little playmate.
Anything else you want to add: We probably won’t tell her for as long as we can due to our history of pregnancy loss until we are more confident and comfortable sharing the news. She’s lost a grandparent last September and a dog in February, both unexpectedly. I’d want to minimize any risk of more heartache in case things go sideways.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: I'm looking forward to her understanding more about being gentle, and being able to help out a little. I was really hoping for a close age gap, but I think this will have more pros than cons.
Anything else you want to add: I just can't wait to tell her. She has been asking for a sibling every day for like 2 years, which has been so heartbreaking.
Anything else you want to add: We’ve already told our oldest, and she wasn’t thrilled at first, but she’s gotten over it and moved on to being happy 😊 Out little one would be ecstatic if she knew what we were talking about, lol 😂
Age of other child(ren): 8.5 & 6 when baby is born.
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?: Having two extra sets of hands to help!! I vividly remember potty training my DD while on maternity leave with DS and having to pop him off the boob and set him down to run her to the bathroom. Nightmare. I am trying to work with them now on things they are close to being self sufficient with so they can do them by themselves when baby comes if I am unable to help (making their lunches, bathtime, etc.)
Anything else you want to add: DD & DS are best friends. Literally inseparable. Sleep together, play amazingly together, same friend group. I have some guilt of bringing in a new babe. I don't want the baby to feel left out when it's older and the older two are so close. I also have guilt of bringing in a new babe while my older two are so content with each other. I guess that's all normal and that feeling will go away when the baby gets here.
Looking forward to having my daughter's help. Hoping the age gaps is not too bad where they don't have a connection.
Age of other child(ren): 11,9,5,3,1 (will be 11,9,6,4,2 in Feb)
What are you looking forward to with the age gap?:
My girls (the older two) are so so excited. They knew about my ectopic pregnancy last fall and are very excited for us to have another baby even if it means a 4th little brother. They will be helpful. I have to be conscious about not burdening them with the care of their little siblings though.
Anything else you want to add:
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
No clue.