I don't want to die if I miscarry

bcanderson3 · June 2022

Anybody else freaking out? This changes pregnancy for all of us!! Why is everyone acting like things are normal when they aren't anymore!?

knottie_knottie1 · June 2022

I've had similar thoughts, especially given the story last week about the American woman who was refused an abortion in Malta after she miscarried.

I also feel terrible for women, no matter the circumstances, who want an abortion, but can't afford to travel to a place where one is legal, who are stuck in states where their forced to have a baby they can't afford, and the state offers minimal government support/benefits. Like if you're going to force people to have kids they can't afford at least provide financial assistance

bethanyguse · June 2022

I help out a family who is pregnant with their 4 baby. They have 3 boys now and are having a girl. As of right now I'm more excited then they are. But lately I have been troubled by thoughts of a stillborn. I was thinking today that if it was a stillborn I don't think I could live through it. So, I guess we can all pray for each other! We will all need it no matter if they don't go full term or don't.

patrich2020 · June 2022

Everything I have read shows that D&C is still completely legal even with everything that has happened, so I’m not concerned. Just make sure you talk to your doctors and confirm the plan if the worst ends up happening.

bethanyguse · June 2022

I somewhat agree with you, but at the same time I don't. I do think they should maybe help out finically. But I don't think women should be aborting their babies just because they can't afford it. Before they take such a big step, they should consider adoption. Honestly, if I had the someone to come live with me and financial help, I would adopt every baby out there that Moms want to abort. As soon as they are conceived they are just as human as I am, just not fully grown.

bcanderson3 · June 2022

God bless all and good luck to you and your perfect pregnancies. I will continue to live in the real world where real women are going to be hurt by this. Hope your doctor doesn't neglect you.

knottie_knottie1 · June 2022

I think adoption is great for people that are seeking that option, but realistically it's not always the best option for women or transgender men who are experiencing an unwanted or unintended pregnancy. There's a lot of financial cost associated with being pregnant, not everyone has insurance to cover the costs, not everyone can take off work when they are already working paycheck-to-paycheck and need to feed the family they already have, and, for transgender men, there's a lot of other considerations and things they may be experiencing. My point is going through with a pregnancy is not the best option for ever person/their family and there is a long-term ripple effect of forcing someone to see a unwanted pregnancy to term

meggyme · June 2022

D&C’s are legal to save the mother’s life, but who makes that decision? Doctors? Or do they have to consult a lawyer first, taking up precious time? Does it have to be an immediate threat, or would someone with cancer be denied treatment or forced to deliver a baby with birth defects from chemo? Is someone with anxiety or depression that is a suicide risk without their medication that may cause birth defects allowed to have an abortion to save their own life? What about in cases of abuse? Would they be allowed an abortion so that they can escape their abuser without being forced to co-parent with them?

If all these decisions require discussing with a lawyer, or worse a full on court case, it may be too late to have an abortion, as was the case in Roe v Wade. That’s why they should be made by a woman and their doctor, not the government.

wishiwaspreggo · June 2022

bethanyguse said:

As soon as they are conceived they are just as human as I am, just not fully grown.

These conversations have gotten me thinking about IVF and what this means for fertility treatments. I underwent IVF. I had 17 eggs extracted and subsequently fertilized. Those fertilized eggs were "conceived" as soon as the sperm was injected into the egg, yes? They started the cell division and then Mother Nature (or God, if you are a believer) took over. Reproductive endocrinologists put these fertilized eggs into a nutrient-rich solution and they are monitored for 5 days. Over those 5 days, 14 of my fertilized eggs arrested and stopped growing. Should I have had a death certificate for each embryo? Should I have been required to identify the sex of each embryo, name the embryo, had a social security number for them, etc?

Moving on... 3 of them made it to day 5 (when an embryo is developed enough that it can implant into the uterine lining). I had 2 transferred and my doctor warned me there was a 30% chance that both would implant. Well, here I am 4 years later raising some wild animal twins. I have an older son along with the twins, so 3 kids total. I initially wanted 2 but accepted the risk of twins so I rolled with it, but 3 is my absolute limit. Remember, I have one remaining embryo left after this. Once the twins were born alive and healthy, I had a choice to make. What to do with that last embryo. I decided to donate it to research because 1) I could not fathom having a 4th child and 2) the thought of donating an embryo to someone I don't know gives me major anxiety. What if the baby grew up in a house where the parents spanked (or worse, abused) them? Or had a lecherous uncle who touched them? Or one of the parents never got over not being biologically related to them and treated them poorly as a result? I'd just rather they not be born, and that was my choice to make.

Will that choice be eliminated from couples then? What will happen if they make a large surplus of embryos (7+) and they don't want to have that many children? Will they be forced to adopt them out or carry them to term? Or pay for them to be frozen indefinitely? Where is the line drawn here?

IVF is a total crapshoot and even with perfectly healthy embryos, there is no guarantee you'll get pregnant or the embryo will survive to birth. It is in the patient's best interest to create several embryos in the hopes that they build their family from one round. But if embryos are given personhood, a doctor may only allow patients to fertilize and grow one embryo at a time. I couldn't begin to imagine how expensive that would be, how unreliable, how difficult... It makes me sad. I think Roe v Wade being overturned is the biggest mistake made in my lifetime by a radical group of fundamentalist theocratic fascists. I hope this is a wake-up call for pro-choice folks to storm the voting booths in November.

mahalove108 · July 2022

They're coming for ivf and birth control next and the religious freedoms of anyone who isn't Christian. They're very open about this. Anyone who thinks this is about saving fetuses (and embryos and blastocysts and zygotes) is not paying attention. This is about controlling and devaluing women and about enacting a fundamentalist Christian belief system on all of us.

saraheifert · July 2022

I luckily live in Minnesota where abortion is still accessible, but I’m 100% being careful about what states I travel to. For example my grandparents live in South Dakota and I’m hesitant to go too far into the state just in case something goes wrong and the doctor is too scared of being charged with a felony to do what it takes to save me. It’s a valid fear.

mahalove108 · July 2022

It's a super valid fear. I won't travel to any state where women's health care is restricted until after I have my baby. It's too much of a risk.

knottieed65871391e7c39f · August 2022

As someone who has a history of PPROM this has been terrifying. Hopefully you have a doc and a hospital that will advocate for you if you need it

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