Lost, confused, and heartbroken. HELP please! :(

Re: Lost, confused, and heartbroken. HELP please! :(

• optimistgardener member

  June 2022

  QFP

  emilyma95 said:

  Hello everyone! My husband and I have been TTC for 10 months now. June 18-20 I had what I thought was implantation bleeding. Normally my period lasts 5-7 days, has clots, and is heavy. This time around it was light, lasted three days, and was no clots. Normally my symptoms go away after my period stops. This time around though the symptoms have stuck around and seem to be getting worse. I have a metallic taste in my mouth, insomnia, sense of smell has increased, nausea coming and going, headaches, fatigue even when I get lots of sleep, the need to pee has increased, food aversions/lack of appetite, and my boobs/nipples hurt so bad; I’m normally a stomach sleeper but the pain in my boobs stops me from sleeping on my stomach. I have been taking tests but they are negative. Im so confused as to what’s going on. Can’t get into my doctor for three weeks. I was hopeful but that hope is starting to dwindle. My heart breaks with every negative. I don’t know how much longer I can do this 😔💔 any advice or similar stories? Thanks a bunch ❤️

  
  

  @emilyma95 i'm so sorry that you're feeling confused and heartbroken. i'm four years in still waiting for something more than a CP, and know full well how difficult this process can be. That having been said, if you're getting negative pregnancy tests, you're not pregnant at this time. Home pregnancy tests are highly sensitive (especially the "pink line" FRER types). It doesn't matter how many other symptoms you're experiencing (and this is why we here on this board strongly discourage symptom spotting). Only a positive test result counts. Hormones can do wacky things to how you're feeling in your body. It sounds possible that you either experienced or are presently experiencing an anovulatory cycle, or that you ovulated earlier or later than expected, or possibly you have an ovarian cyst that is pumping out hormones and making things weird (these are usually not anything to worry about and go away on their own).
  

  If you decide to stick around on this board, we are a welcoming and knowledgeable group of folks but we do have fairly strict board rules. These include discouraging one-off posts (like this one) as well as "am I pregnant?" type posts, which this message kinda-sorta seems to be doing. Please feel free to introduce yourself in our Newbies thread, read our "Newbies, read this first" post pinned at the top of the board, and start educating yourself on how to identify your ovulatory/fertile window by using OPKs and by taking your basal body temperature. This will give you a lot of insight into your monthly cycle and will hopefully mean that future mysteries such as the one you're currently struggling with are less likely.
  

  History

  I am doing this on my own. Left ovary and fallopian tube removed due to cyst/necrosis just after birth. Right ovary and tube still purport to function.

  Began TTC in Aug '18 @ age 35

  5 or 6 (or 7?!) cycles using frozen donor sperm, ICI. All BFN

  Mar-Jun '19 IUIs, all BFN
  

  Began process of referral for RE in spring of '19, blood tests confirm low AMH (.54) but all else is good.

  May '19 HSG shows open tube, but ultrasound suggests fibroids
  

  MRI in June '19 confirms two large fibroids, one growing through wall of uterus

  In June '19 I move from California to Oregon, disrupting my insurance, referrals, etc. 5 months spent piecing it all back together.
  

  Nov. '19 attempted myomectomy (vaginal approach) failed. 2nd surgery using laparoscopic method in Jan '20 is successful.
  

  April '20 --> June '20, natural IUIs, all BFN.

  July? saline ultrasound and bubble test demonstrate open tube
  

  July '20 clomid cycle cancelled for thin lining

  Aug-Oct, 3 femara cycles, all BFN

  RE referral. While waiting to set up an appointment Nov-Jan,I continue with natural cycles and ICI, using a known donor, BFN...
  

  Jan '21 more bloodwork, AMH is worse (.30), FSH high albeit not catastrophic at 13.2. hysteroscopy all good. "looks cozy!" says the RE.
  

  Feb '21, injectables (menopur, novarel), iui, BFN (doc said the frozen donor sperm sample had the "best numbers she'd ever seen!")
  

  Mar '21, injectables, iui cancelled due to lack of follicles, converted to at home-insem. BFN
  

  May '21, first IVF round cancelled due to cyst.

  July '21 IVF: standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 7; 6 days of stims. 8 eggs retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilize, 4 made it to blast. 3 are 4AB, 1 is 4BB. PGT-A results all abnormal.
  Oct '21 somewhat improved AMH (.51) and significantly improved FSH (8.9). Maybe it's all the pills I swallow.
  Dec -21, standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 5; 11 days of stims. retrieval yields 5, 4M, 2 reach day-6 blast (4AB & 4BB). 1 low-level mosaic (chr. 3 deletion), 1 complex abnormal.
  Feb '22 FET (low-level mosaic): CP.
  May '22 egg retrieval, lupron flare protocol. HGH priming for 1 month before stims; md lupron 20/20u daily; menopur 225, follistim 225, 10k trigger after 8 days of stims; AFC 10; 13 retrieved; 10 mature; 8 fertilized. All frozen at 2PN for later thaw, grow, and biopsy.
  July '22 egg retrieval same protocol: 9 days of stims; AFC 8; 10 retrieved, 8 mature, 4 fertilized and frozen.
  Sept '22 ER same protocol: AFC 10; 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 11 fertilized.
  From the 3 retrievals, 7 survived to day 5-6 blastocyst, from which I have 2 normal embryos!
  Jan 20, Fully medicated FET, baby aspirin, dexamethasone, acupuncture, and as much woo as I can stand (which isn't very much). BFN.
  July 23, Natural FET + baby aspirin. BFN.
  

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• stormageddon-darklordofall member

  June 2022

  @emilyma95 What @optimistgardener said.  If your PG tests are negative, you are NOT PG.  It doesn't matter what 'symptoms' you think you feel.  And if you are PG enough to feel symptoms of a PG, then you are PG enough to turn a test.  Cycles are regular until they are not.  I've had cycles where I would've sworn I were PG, had I not also been bleeding bucket-fulls of blood on AF.  It just is what it is.  

  *TW All the Loss* #BitterHagPartyOf1
  

  October 2015 - 1st MC.  7-8 weeks along. Suspected molar PG, but luckily just a MMC.

  June 2016 - 2nd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

  September 2016 - 3rd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

  RE 1: ALL the testing - 'unexplained'  "Yinz can do IVF or try on your own"

  Feb 2017 - 4th MC: 6 weeks

  RE 2: More tests. Still 'unexplained.'  Called fat for an entire hour-long appointment, cried a lot

  Feb 2019 - 5th MC: 6-7 weeks

  IUD - March 2019-March 2023

  RE 3:  Repeat all the tests. Hoping to try IVF.

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