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Seasoned Mamas Thread

thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
edited June 2022 in January 2023 Moms
This is a thread for those expecting their 2nd, 3rd 4th or 5th etc living child! 

How old are your living children? 

How are you feeling about age gaps?

Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family? 

How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? 

What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!?
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    thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    How old are your living children? 18 Months on the 8th

    How are you feeling about age gaps? I really wanted to have my kids roughly 2 years apart and they will be 25 months apart so I’m very happy and also slightly terrified lol 

    Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family?  Im still breastfeeding and bed sharing with my LO (completely unplanned I was one of those pregnant ppl who were like I WOULD NEVER but here we are) so I’m not sure what it’s going to look like with a new baby. I think I’ll try and wean my LO in the second trimester when I have the energy to do so and put the new baby in the crib off the hop! 

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? I told mine mama has a baby in her tummy and he pointed to his tummy and said baby hahahah 

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!?
    you can’t plan everything and don’t compare you LO/ parenting to others around you! Every child is different and you’ll figure out what works for you! 
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    daffodil_shoedaffodil_shoe member
    How old are your living children? 6 & 2.5

    How are you feeling about age gaps? When my 2nd was born, my oldest was almost 4. At the time I really liked it because my big kid was so independent. But now I wish they were closer in age because they don’t really play together.

    Is there anything you’re worried about bringing in this new addition to your family? n/a, this baby isn’t mine. But when expecting my 2nd, I was concerned about how I could possibly love another human as much as I loved my first. But it was never a problem, my heart just grew 🥰

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? Between working in L&D and doing surrogacy, my oldest knows just about everything there is to know. He knows I’m growing this baby for two daddies because they don’t have a uterus but I do. He knew I flew out to CA to put an embryo in my uterus, and I told him it “stuck” so I’m pregnant. My youngest is too little to understand any of this, so he doesn’t know anything.

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!?
    Do what works for you (within safety of course). Try different pieces of advice, and then find what works for you and kiddo; every kid is different. Pay no mind to others’ judgments. As long as your kid is fed, safe, and loved, it doesn’t matter.

    Oh, but one thing I will say is DO NOT get pissy if someone tells you that your car seat is wrong. Look into it, so that your kid can be safe.
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    footdrbrittfootdrbritt member
    How old are your living children? 5 and almost 2

    How are you feeling about age gaps? Pretty good about it, it’s pretty equitable and 5 is UBER excited to have a sister 

    Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family? Our 2 year old is mildly medically complex and takes a lot of time and energy, hoping to be able to divide time for him. 

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? We had our 5 year old very involved in the IVF process, he helped with meds and shots (counted to 3 for me) and we walked him through the whole process. He really wanted a baby sister and he’s over the moon. 2 year old could care less 😝

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!?

    Pregnancy is a wild ride. It may not go as planned, and that’s fine—pregnancy during COVID is even wilder, and that’s okay too. Lean on your support groups hard, ask questions (and there really are no stupid questions when it comes to your health) and advocate for yourself. You are your best advocate! 
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    klamsb5klamsb5 member
    edited June 2022
    Oh boy.... I have 4 kids (21, 18, 11, 8) and my husband has 2 (22, 20) and together we're having twins. I'm 40 and nervous about being high risk. We're not telling kids until we're further along and safe. 

    I loved the gap between my 1st 2 and 2nd 2. I had teenagers and toddlers! LoL Only me 2 littles at home now and they are going to be thrilled!!!
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    bauerpower1990bauerpower1990 member
    How old are your living children? 5 and 3

    How are you feeling about age gaps? Ok, my other two are 27 months apart and they have a lot of the same interests and play together well. I’m a little worried the last one might be a bit more left out since they’ll be almost 4 years apart but at the same time I’m happy to only have one in diapers this time! 

    Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family? My 1st will be thrilled, not sure how my 2nd will react. This will also out number us!

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? We haven’t told them yet, planning on telling them on Father’s Day! 

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!? Trust your instincts, ask for help, don’t compare yourself to other moms, it’s ok to make mistakes (everyone is doing their best)! 
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    42lemons42lemons member
    This is my second pregnancy, first baby is about to be 2!  Where does the time go?

    I'm feeling pretty good about the age gap - we wanted our daughter to be about 2.5 when we had second, and we're not far off from that.  

    Worries: I don't do well on low sleep, so I'm worried about having 2 who don't sleep.  And we need to get our daughter back in her own bed, and into a toddler bed before this bean arrives.  No idea how well make that happen.  

    We'll tell our girl we're expecting closer to baby arriving and try to get her excited to meet him/her. 

    Advice: picking a daycare and pediatrician for your little is far lower stakes than it feels like.  If it doesn't work out for some reason, you can always switch providers! 
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    thankfullyamamathankfullyamama member
    @42lemons right there with you needing to get my toddler sleeping better and in his own bed too! If you figure it send me your ways lol
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    jennifer_louisejennifer_louise member
    edited June 2022
    How old are your living children? 5, 21mo

    How are you feeling about age gaps?
    I guess good? We didn't have any choice on the first age gap (almost 4yr) because of infertility. I know my 5yo will be a great big sis (because she already is). My toddler is a wild card. He obvi still needs so much attention/affection that the transition will probably be rough at first but hopefully better down the road.

    Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family? 
    Yes, I'm worried about how DS will adjust. I'm worried about a lot of things actually 🤣 including the daycare situation, will we need a new car, etc.

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? 
    We will definitely not be saying a word until we want the whole world to know. I've been throwing some ideas about how we'll do this but we'll wait until at least the end of the first tri. So I have some more time to work it out 🙃

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!?
    Take time for yourself!! And I second @42lemons advice too - especially on pediatrician. Lots of times we go in to see the pediatrician (when it's more emergent or time-sensitive) and you won't be able to see the regular pediatrician anyway, you'll get whoever is available! So far I've met all the doctors at our practice and they're all great.
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    zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    @42lemons and @tryingktogku Toddler bed transition is hard under any circumstances. We had to do it very abruptly when DS suddenly realized he could climb onto the rail of his crib. I really like the book Precious Little Sleep and there’s a FB community with peer support on FB. We just converted DS to a full size bed (he was getting too tall for the toddler bed) and he is loving it - I got him new bedding and he has lots of room for stuffed animals.

    How old are your living children? DS will be 3 in August.

    How are you feeling about age gaps? DS will be almost 3.5 and I’m about 3.5 years older than my full sister too, so I think that will be nice. 

    I have a lot of personal insight on age gaps with five sisters - half sisters are 26 and 27 (turning 28), full sister 36 turning 37 later this year, me, 40, step sister turning 40 this year, and last step sister who is 43. In my experience close ages don’t necessarily make for better relationships. My half sisters were born only 19 months apart and are like oil and water. In part their parents pitted them against each other and teachers compared them in school. My step sisters don’t speak with each other, and I don’t have a direct relationship with either of them. I have a tremendous relationship with my full sister and my sister who is 27.  What really matters is how you facilitate the sibling relationship and how well their personalities mesh. 

    Is there anything you’re worried about brining in this new addition to your family? I hope DS can be gentle with his little sibling. He has a lot of energy and doesn’t know his own strength.

    How did/ will you tell your children you’re expecting? We haven’t told him yet and will probably wait until 10-12 weeks I think.

    What is your biggest piece of advice you would give a FTM now that you have some experience!? If you have a partner try to let them do stuff even if you initially have to show them how. Set the expectation that you are both parents and both have responsibilities for the house and baby. The biggest thing I’ve seen with women around my age who are specifically married to men is the female partner takes on so much more of the mental load it can be exhausting. 
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    truman1091truman1091 member
    edited June 2022
    My best friend is 5 years old! This is my 4th pregnancy! I'm praying for a healthy baby!
    I'm scared of the age gap because my angel it's only been her and I! I have been a single mom ALWAYS! Now I found this amazing man who loves us both so very much! I'm scared she will think I don't have time for her! I have to work really hard for a happy place between fiance and baby girl! Now we are adding a baby! Any advice would be helpful! I know for a fact that she is going to be the very best big sister! She has little cousins that she loves so very much! And tells me all the time that she wants a baby for her to play with all the time!  
    How do I plan to tell my little best friend? I'm getting a puzzle made of the ultrasound and it will say big sister on it! My baby loves puzzles! I'm waiting until I know little baby safe to tell my little best friend! 
    My big best friend (fiance) doesn't know we are expecting. Although it's getting harder to hide! He is getting curious! Morning sickness and exhaustion Is trying to give it away. But I telling him on Father's day! Cause I got the perfect time for that! I got him a frame that says anyone can be dad but it takes someone special to be a father! It has a picture of him and my little best friend together and a picture of the positive pregnancy test! I also got him a shirt that has the batman symbol and it says dadman in the batman symbol! Fingers crossed I can keep it a secret till fathers day! Almost there!! 
    Advice I would give is to just have fun! Love your baby! The more you love that baby the more that baby will love you! It's okay to need that baby more on someday! Don't let them carry your hurt, but let them help you through it! My baby has saved me more times than I am willing to admit and she doesn't know she ever did!you don't need to be perfect! Be silly (have fun with your baby)i promiseyou will habe the most fun if you just let go and be silly, loving, and kind! But most of all be there!! 
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