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3yo won’t stay in bed and I’m exhausted!

flutterbugsmommyflutterbugsmommy member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
Good morning! My 3 year old won’t stay in bed at night. She gets up 2-3 times every single night. Almost always goes back to sleep right away on her own, but getting up 2-3 times a night keeps me awake! 

Hubby and I are on a different page so he’s no help. He’s fully in support of her just crawling into bed with us but I went my rest and sleep. It’s frustrating because she WAS an incredible sleeper and now I dread nights.  

She gets up, walks into our room, I wake up, walk her back with no talking or fanfare, tuck her in and she goes back to sleep. The problem is everywhere I read says a few weeks of that and they’ll stop getting up because it’s boring. 

It’s been 5 months! 5 months of mom losing 2 hours of sleep a night. 5 months of 2-3 wakeups every night (for both of us). 

Her room is comfy, cool, she has stuffies and dolls. When we put her to sleep we put her projection stars on a 30-minute timer, but when I put her back to bed she’s fine in the dark and just goes back to sleep. 

Anyone have any suggestions? 
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Re: 3yo won’t stay in bed and I’m exhausted!

  • mom2fourcraziesmom2fourcrazies Just Joined
    I’m sorry for your struggle! I have noticed with my children that if they awaken in the middle of the night they just like to know mom/dad are close. Training a 3yr old takes a lot of patience when they really want the security of you with them. What has worked for us is that they are allowed to come into our room so long as they lie down on the floor and don’t wake me up. I occasionally get asked to put on a blanket, but I can do that half asleep and it doesn’t bother me. If that is still bothersome, maybe lock your door. You can let her know that your door will be locked so she’s not totally surprised in the middle of the night. I hope you find something that works for all of you soon!
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  • nlnicolenlnicole member
    I got my son a “sleep-wake” clock from Amazon. You set it so it’s red when they should be in bed, yellow when they can play quietly in their room, and green when they can wake up others.  

    Of course it’s not like it’s an overnight fix.  It takes training and positive reinforcement, but it has been a game changer in this household.  

    I made a sticker chart to go with it, prizes sprinkled throughout.  Every night we review the clock rules and if he follows them, he gets a sticker.  I did 21 days because research shows  21 days forms a habit.  So far he has 13 stickers. We’ve been doing it for 16 days.  He is SO proud when he gets them and recognizes why when he doesn’t, and states that he plans to try again the next night.  We clearly stated the exception that “if he’s sick he can wake us up”.  I had the fear that he’s choose a sticker over asking for help in an emergency so we review that every night too. 

    I leave books near his bed and he has an Alexa in his room that he knows how to ask for “sleep music” and “bedtime stories” on. 
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