So 35+ is the technical advanced maternal age thing.
I'm 38 and this is my first pregnancy within this category. I had my first two kids at 29 and 31. I love that so many women in their 30s and 40s are here!
I turned 41 two weeks ago, I was 31 when I had my son and had a geriatric label in my chart then too for some reason. The MFM office I was using then said they labeled anyone over 30 with that lovely title, which I thought seemed a little extreme but whatever. I love that there are so many other women here in their late 30’s and 40’s. I can’t tell you how many people I know who tried to discourage my hopes of another baby, or told me that I was crazy to be trying at this age. Most of them had their kids really young but still, the comments hurt and made me feel bad about what I want in my life, made me question myself so much.
I’ll be 43 when this kid is born, as will my husband. Our daughter was born in 2010, and we were sure we were one and done until just a few weeks ago.
A few of my AMA worries:
Obviously, the increased risk of miscarriage, complications, genetic abnormalities, etc. How hard it will be to get back in shape. The idea that everyone we know will think we’re ridiculous at best or crazy at worst for going through this again at our age.
Does anyone feel a little embarrassed to tell people?
I’m 36 (will be 37 at delivery) pregnant with my second (I was 33 when she was born). I’ve only had one appt so far, but the age thing wasn’t really emphasized (which I appreciate).
Ftm and i turn 40 in a month. I am def nervous for the higher risk of complications, miscarriage, genetic abnormalities, etc. I wish I hadn't had to wait til this late but it took awhile finding the right guy (and I found a total winner, so the wait was worth it). Now everything else is out of my hands, and I can only hope and pray that everything will work out. But luckily for me I know plenty of older women who had healthy babies and easy pregnancies, so i keep looking to that as an example of how often these things turn out ok.
Editing to add though that I had a terrible scare today: I got some terrible food poisoning where my stomach hurt so bad I was sobbing on the ground of my bathroom on all fours, partly out of extreme pain and partly out of fears I was miscarrying. No blood and tomorrow morning I'll go to get a check up w my doc just to put my mind at ease. I'm sure it's fine and it was bad food poisoning. But when I tell you when it was all over I bawled my face out.... The anxiety is so real.
FTM, 36, and really struggling with the anxiety of…everything. Our first US is in two days (6w6d), and I’m having trouble thinking about anything else. Logically, I know there’s a spectrum of “normal” when it comes to symptoms, but I was still relieved when I started feeling nauseous a few days ago. Today, hardly any nausea so naturally: I’m worried. I think I’m having a hard time with feelings of powerlessness I wasn’t anticipating. My husband is super supportive, and this message board has helped a lot with understanding the nervousness is normal—and it is great to see so many Mom’s my own age—but I’m thinking as we move from important milestone test to test, it’s unlikely the degree of tension will significantly lessen. I do have a great therapist though, so I’ll be utilizing that avenue of support early and often
FTM, 35. I'm happy to see so many other moms around my age here. It feels like having children at this age is becoming more and more common. I hope that means that we will see better care for mom's our age too.
I am really anxious to know how things are going for the baby. I'm hoping that being older means my OB will want to see me more often. I'm also a little worried about trying to keep up with baby after birth. I am somewhat disabled (still coming to terms with using that word for myself) and it can be easy for that injury to flare up. It's in my neck and shoulder area so I'm afraid that everything from carrying baby, to feeding baby, etc. it going to be painful.
I would love to know if you all are thinking about NIPT vs amnio etc. Where I live, neither are covered by insurance, but the NIPT is SO much more expensive (like $900 USD) vs an amnio which is like $175. But I hear the NIPT is less invasive and no risk of miscarriage unlike the amnio and has a high accuracy...but like if you get some bad outcome in the NIPT you might have to do an amnio anyway. Anyone given thought to all this?
@narwhal33 After reading the NYT article that found upwards of an 80% false positive rate with some of the NIPTs (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/01/upshot/pregnancy-birth-genetic-testing.html), I’ve been thinking about it a lot. As far as I can tell, only the screening (blood) test for Trisomy 21 has a significantly high accuracy rate, the rest were added on as labs tried to compete with one another…hence the hefty price tag, too. CVS testing is more definitive, and may carry slightly less risk than an amino: “With regard to CVS, our results demonstrate that, there is no significant procedure-related risk associated with undertaking this procedure” (https://www.obgproject.com/2016/10/30/obg-project-about-us/). Nothing is entirely without risk, but my thinking at this point is if the early screening tests (including nuchal translucency US) indicate higher risk, we may go for the CVS for piece of mind. Definitely interested in others thoughts!
Just turned 37. Had my daughter at 25. The anxiety with this baby is through the roof. Woke up one morning and my boobs didn’t hurt. Full breakdown. US 4 days later and baby is great. My doc has never brought up my age and has only seemed to be concerned at all because of my history with MC. Will discuss testing with my doc at my next visit I think.
@narwhal33 it took me longer than anticipated to find the right guy to have a baby with too. I had actually made peace that it wouldn’t happen and I was blessed to have 1 great kid.
My 42nd birthday is next month, I don't feel 42 though lol. This is our first and after a MMC 3 years ago I'm super aware of everything right now. Our first ultrasound is tomorrow morning, I'm nervous and excited! No one has said anything to me about my age being an issue which I really appreciate. Other than just a few things to be aware of and procautionary testing. In my twenties I was too busy out having fun, my thirties my husband and I built our company. So now is the time that is right for us. I feel like I wasn't actually ready for motherhood until now, and it's something that I want to give my all to. We are blessed to have this chance and I pray it all goes well!
@bustabucket I was going to mention the NYT piece as well. I brought it up to my doctor last week... she hadn't seen it. I confirmed that if anything came back positive on the NIPT that further testing would be done to confirm the positive. Can't go off of just the NIPT by itself.
I'll be doing the NIPT when I do my blood work on 5/16. From what I read and talked to my doctors about, it's the negatives that are accurate. I believe if you get a negative for Downs it's 99% accurate. If anything is positive you have to do more testing. Luckily my insurance covers it as long as they put in a high risk code, which will be AMA.
Hello, I just turned 37 and it’s our first baby! 7w+2d. Our first marriages didn’t work out and we are really excited to have found each other for round two. The ob I chose doesn’t book til week 10, so it’s been kinda hard to wait til mid May. Thanks for starting this thread. Glad to see others thriving in their pregnancies. Congratulations!!!
Hi all! I’m 35 and will be 8w tomorrow with my first. I’ve had a viability US last Thursday and everything looked on track and saw a heartbeat. Nausea has been kicking my butt this last week. Last night I had some very light spotting when I wipe using restroom. Along with some cramping. I can’t tell if I’m just noticing cramping more because I’m freaking myself out, but the last 24 hours have been an emotional roller coaster. My first real OB appointment is in a week. Praying for a positive appointment.
Wishing you all well, I’m so happy to be a part of this group and be able to share and read other’s feelings and experience ❤️
I’m 38 and FTM, also enjoyed my 20s and 30s and waited for the right partner! Didn’t think it would take us 18 months, 2 MCs and an IUI to get here, though. I’m 8w2d and was supposed to get an US tomorrow, but I got Covid. 😥 I’m getting the monclonal therapy tomorrow (nervous about that) and I’m hoping they’ll have me in for the ultrasound next week after my quarantine period is over. I did hear a heartbeat at 6w4d, but just want to know everything is progressing alright.
@portentosa my main reason for wanting to do NIPT was bc I heard the negatives are very accurate meaning if I got a negative back I wouldn't go forward w an amnio, bc I was worried about risk of miscarriage. But after reading Emily Oster's book, it seems that the risk of miscarriage may be even less than the number commonly cited, so...maybe I'll just go straight to amnio since my insurance won't cover the NIPT.
Hi all! I’m 38 and 6w1d with my first pregnancy. First prenatal visit isn’t until May 20th and I can’t wait!! I have some anxiety about miscarriage and potential chromosomal abnormalities, but mostly it’s just hard not to tell everyone I see! My little (31) sister is now 2 days past her due date and I selfishly want her baby to hurry up so I don’t feel like I’m totally stealing her thunder when we tell our parents in a couple weeks 😂
39 FTM here. Already been given the high risk label to age and health issues. Struggling a little because all of my tests have gone well, but it’s the unknown of the in between and I’m 6w5d and I don’t really feel pregnant yet. Meaning, I don’t have any morning sickness, just some mild stretching cramps and sore breasts. I worry it’s a bad sign.
Hi All! I’m 41 and will be a week from turning 42 when the baby is due. I had my first at 37 and really wanted a second but was trying to make my peace with it probably not being in the cards when this little miracle happened. I’m 6w today and the anxiety is SUPER high that the baby is healthy and growing.
Thanks for sharing your stories everyone! It’s really comforting to get to hear from so many AMA mamas in a similar boat as me I’m 36, Ftm, and currently 7w3d after a fresh IVF round. Even though I’m getting started later than a lot of my friends, like many of you said, I think it’s the perfect time in my life. Also, good news, according to some studies, we might even live longer because of it! https://time.com/4574770/older-moms-may-live-longer/?amp=true
I’m not a FTM but I am 38 and will be 39 when baby #4 arrives. We did IVF for 3/4 of our kids. One surprise but not this little one. We decided to go for it and make one more little human! My embryos are from my retrieval when I was 31. And our first born was born with Down Syndrome. I understand that it is a concern for many older moms. But my boys pretty awesome. So do the testing that makes you comfortable.
35 here, this will be my first baby. I'm trying not to get to worked up about the AMA label. I still think I'm 24, even though I certainly don't feel like it!
Hi Ladies. I've been stressing a bit as all of my symptoms disappeared last week and at my 6 week scan I measured 5.5w. I went for an hcg test today, and my numbers doubled in 7 days! From 14700 on 2 May to 30100 on 10 May 😔
I know that doubling slows down once hcg hits 6000, but the average is 4 days... I can't help but feel like this pregnancy isn't going to last.
I have a scan on Thursday and I'm vascilating between holding on to hope and preparing for the worst.
Has this happened to anyone? What was the outcome? Good or bad?
@samiw23 Was there a fetal pole and that's what measurements were based on?
TW.... Bad outcome....
I won't go into my details unless you really want them, but my gut in Dec was correct when I knew measurements were off and things weren't progressing based on dates that I was positive on. It was a heart wrenching process and I still get sad. However, my cycle returned in January, I ovulated in February, and we got pregnant on our first month TTC again in March. I turned 39 yesterday and had a normal scan at 6.5 wks and at 9 wks. There's always hope no matter the outcome on your next scan.
I hope your scan on Thursday shows a growing little baby with a strong heart beat!
Re: AMA Mama Check In (May)
I'm 38 and this is my first pregnancy within this category. I had my first two kids at 29 and 31. I love that so many women in their 30s and 40s are here!
Obviously, the increased risk of miscarriage, complications, genetic abnormalities, etc. How hard it will be to get back in shape. The idea that everyone we know will think we’re ridiculous at best or crazy at worst for going through this again at our age.
Editing to add though that I had a terrible scare today: I got some terrible food poisoning where my stomach hurt so bad I was sobbing on the ground of my bathroom on all fours, partly out of extreme pain and partly out of fears I was miscarrying. No blood and tomorrow morning I'll go to get a check up w my doc just to put my mind at ease. I'm sure it's fine and it was bad food poisoning. But when I tell you when it was all over I bawled my face out.... The anxiety is so real.
I am really anxious to know how things are going for the baby. I'm hoping that being older means my OB will want to see me more often. I'm also a little worried about trying to keep up with baby after birth. I am somewhat disabled (still coming to terms with using that word for myself) and it can be easy for that injury to flare up. It's in my neck and shoulder area so I'm afraid that everything from carrying baby, to feeding baby, etc. it going to be painful.
Last night I had some very light spotting when I wipe using restroom. Along with some cramping. I can’t tell if I’m just noticing cramping more because I’m freaking myself out, but the last 24 hours have been an emotional roller coaster. My first real OB appointment is in a week. Praying for a positive appointment.
I know that doubling slows down once hcg hits 6000, but the average is 4 days... I can't help but feel like this pregnancy isn't going to last.
I have a scan on Thursday and I'm vascilating between holding on to hope and preparing for the worst.
Has this happened to anyone? What was the outcome? Good or bad?
Thanks
TW.... Bad outcome....
I won't go into my details unless you really want them, but my gut in Dec was correct when I knew measurements were off and things weren't progressing based on dates that I was positive on. It was a heart wrenching process and I still get sad. However, my cycle returned in January, I ovulated in February, and we got pregnant on our first month TTC again in March. I turned 39 yesterday and had a normal scan at 6.5 wks and at 9 wks. There's always hope no matter the outcome on your next scan.
I hope your scan on Thursday shows a growing little baby with a strong heart beat!