November 2022 Moms
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Mental Health & Pregnancy

Hi. 
On here to make sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. I want to know I'm not alone. I'm about 12 weeks pregnant (my first) and my mental health has only decreased since finding out, life just seems dreadful and I know it's not normal to feel this way. Any one have any tips or good articles I could read? I will be asking my doctor at my appointment if there is more I can do than just taking a freaking vitamin to increase my happiness as she mentioned last appointment. I know bad mental health while pregnant increases chances of having a high risk pregnancy/labor.

Thanks moms, moms to be, moms of all sorts. Dad's too. 

Re: Mental Health & Pregnancy

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    @babyoneduesoon114 You are not alone! 

    One of the best things I did last pregnancy was see a therapist.  It was worth every penny.  At first I was even going twice a week and now I don't even "need" to talk to her. It made the biggest difference for my pregnancy and for my family. 
    I would also suggest checking out any group classes for pregnant people so that you can get to know other moms in your area.  It made a huge difference for me to see other bodies changing like mine and talking to couples who were experiencing the same challenges. In my area, even if you are not giving birth at the birth center all support groups are open to anyone in the community.  There might be something similar in your are. 
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    Hugs friend, you're definitely not alone. I'm seconding the suggestion of therapy - I had postpartum anxiety, and it helped tremendously. 
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    In addition to therapy, which I also highly recommend, there ARE pregnancy-safe antidepressants and it's not uncommon for pregnant women to need them during/just after pregnancy, and there's no shame in taking them. If your OB won't listen to your concerns about your mental health, I'd strongly suggest looking into a different OB/practice if you can, because you don't want a doctor who won't take you seriously.
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    I'm not terrible this pregnancy, but my last pregnancy was so horrible that I left work at 14 weeks. I was on antidepressants already and they upped my dose to the highest allowed which vaguely helped. I spent a lot of time on self care, which for me was long showers and watching farming vlogs, and did a lot of gardening which is my happy place. Basically surrounding myself with my favorite things, the things that really help my mental health.
    I couldn't afford a therapist and I'm not sure if it would have helped me very much to be honest (I'm very self aware and have had very little luck with them in the past for that reason) but if you can it might be worth a try.
    Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
    F born June 2018
    W born September 2020
    #3 due November 2022
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    ashnicellashnicell member
    edited April 2022
    Highly suggest therapy! I'm an advocate for mental health care always, but especially during and after pregnancy. Pregnancy can be difficult mentally and very isolating. Communication and a positive, reliable support system are critical. If you don't feel like your PB is taking you seriously enough, don't be afraid to change OBs. You'll want someone you can trust to take your concerns seriously. 

    Also, if you get to a point where you think medication may be necessary, don't be afraid to ask. There a pregnancy-safe options. 
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    Definitely not alone! I'll agree with all of the recommendations for therapy--finding a good therapist can be a challenge, but it's very worth it. Also chiming in: it's also ok to be medicated. I take Lexapro (and have for about a year) and my OBGYN is very comfortable with me continuing on Lexapro (and increasing it towards the end as I struggled severely with PPD/PPA). Thinking of you and everyone else! Our mental health is so so important and if you ever need help finding resources, I'm only a message a way. I'll absolutely call therapists for you. :) 
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    @babyoneduesoon114 I think there are a lot more of us anxiety/depression moms out there than it seems, me being one. I’ve been on meds for years, and started going off them once TTC. It didn’t work out well and I’m now transitioning onto a pregnancy-safe medication and feel much better. It’s totally OK to get help - whether its medication, therapy or a combination of the two. 

    One thing I would caution against - I started taking Unisom for nausea & insomnia because it was recommended by my Dr as a great pregnancy option. I don’t think it’s common, but the 2 days I was on it I had the worst depression of my life, and was completely normal once I stopped taking it. Not sure if anyone else has experienced this, but it was terrifying! 
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    @babyoneduesoon114 my mental health gets pretty bad during pregnancy just kinda feel depressed all the time.  After a few months o asked the midwife about it and she referred me to a therapist who works with with the hospital/prenatal unit.  This was very helpful. They can prescribe medication if that’s something you need too.  
    My pregnancy went fine.  Childbirth was a bit crappy but that’s probably my fault for not wanting an epidural until it was too late and never doing any yoga even though my back hurt the whole pregnancy (having that problem again and neeeed to do the yoga but haven’t much /:) 
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    @babyoneduesoon114 hugs hugs hugs! You are SO not alone! I’m also on meds for anxiety and have been for 2 years now. My doctor has said numerous times she will increase my dose if needed during pregnancy. After DS1 I had severe PPA that I didn’t recognize at the time, during his pregnancy I was gleefully happy but cried at EVERYTHING in a happy/surprised way. During DD’s pregnancy I was always on edge and kinda moody/angry often. During this one I’ve just been in deep depression states. Could be time of year and cold and exhaustion with other kids but… I have no energy, no desire, nothing. Just want to lay in bed/on the couch all day and sleep and cry very sad SL tears. I cried for about a week straight last week for no specific reason. 

    Your body is changing and your hormones are one million ways out of whack. Stay on top of it and have a trusted friend or partner who knows your situation and can hold you accountable to taking care of yourself/seeking help if they notice you’re not doing well. I told my husband he needed to call me out in it because knowing myself, I’d continue to say I’m fine, even when I’m not.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    @babyoneduesoon114 thank you for starting this conversation, I'd love a monthly (weekly?)mental health check-in.
    I just read this article, and it resonated with me, though it's only tangential to what you were talking about. https://www.thecut.com/2022/04/excerpt-ill-show-myself-out-jessi-klein.html
    You said "my mental health has only decreased since finding out, life just seems dreadful and I know it's not normal to feel this way" except it IS normal to feel this way. Yeah, it's not what Hollywood portrays, but even for a long desired pregnancy, this is one of the normal outcomes. BUT just because it is normal, doesn't mean you have to suffer. As the others have mentioned, there are plenty of  pregnancy safe medication, therapy is hugely beneficial for some, or even just coffee and a chat with a sympathetic ear (though I would be diligent about making sure the friendship is adequate for a non-judgy convo, try to pick someone not currently struggling with infertility). I attended La Leche League meeting when I was still just pregnant with my first, and now is a good time to research new mom support groups. MOPS has chapters all over the united states if you're comfortable in a protestant church setting (you don't have to be personally religious).
    BabyName Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
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