Mental Health/Advice

biancab07 · March 2022

I am new to this app but I am seeking some motherly advice! My boyfriend and I are having difficult times with me not wanting to go out as much. He wants to attend EVERY FAMILY EVENT and there are a lot of them. I’m 6 months pregnant, and I really don’t feel like going out as much. I feel like he’s not being empathetic to me being a first time mom and just needing rest. I don’t want to go out feeling physically uncomfortable and tired. I would like to just have alone time between the two of us especially before our baby is born. We haven’t been on a single date since the pregnancy. I stay home while he’s at work, when he gets off work he goes to the gym and then on the weekend he wants to do family events and go to the gym with friends. By the time he gets homes he’s tired. I would just like to have some alone time go on a few dates before our baby is born. I discussed with him today that once our baby is born I want us to have more quality time with just the three of us. He told me it isn’t fair if I want to exclude us from his family. Am I wrong for feeling this way???

tuxielove93 · March 2022

Neither one of you are wrong for what you want. You just don't agree on your lifestyle choices. BUT you both have to make compromises to make sure both of you are half happy. He has to be willing to spend more time home and you have to be willing to go out with him/include the family/ or at least let him go out.

That said. Babies change things. You should not be the only one stuck home with the baby while he gets unlimited time to go do whatever he wants to do. That isn't fair either. And post partum while you are recovering is different than regular time. You get what you want, impo. You are recovering from a major medical procedure and need rest and support, not more stress. Birth and the postpartum period is very hard on moms.

You both need to sit down and have a really serious discussion about how to compromise on this so both of you are content with the outcome. And both of you are going to have to give a little and get a little.

runnergirl2018 · March 2022

I agree with the above. You both are entittled to feel how you feel, but since you are in this together now, its important to sit down together and find a way to understand each other's side and find compromises. if needed, consider working with a couples therapist for a few sessions to work through this stuff

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