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September 2022 Moms
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Product Spotlight - Pregnancy/Child-rearing Books

kboydbowmankboydbowman member
in September 2022 Moms
What are your favorites, and why?  What ones did you find unhelpful, useless, or downright awful?
Current pregnancy -
First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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Re: Product Spotlight - Pregnancy/Child-rearing Books

  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    You know I have to pimp Emily Oster "Expecting Better." Also anything by Ina Mae....
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    I loved both Ina may - guide to child birth and the guide to breastfeeding. 

    The shit no one tells you series is good they have one for babies and one for toddlers

    For child rearing I also love oh crap potty training. I read well before we were ready, because there's no reading with a toddler. 
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  • mnmomma84mnmomma84 member
    @kboydbowman
    My library just sent me a notification that my hold for the Expecting Better book is ready for pickup! Will be grabbing it today after work :smiley:
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  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @mnmomma84
    yay!  can't wait to hear what you think!
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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  • mnmomma84mnmomma84 member
    @kboydbowman
    I've gotten a good 1/3 of the way through the book and have skimmed some sections since they just don't really apply to me. I like all the facts and data she's sharing about the studies she's read, but I still see a little bias in her writing. I wasn't one to stick to the "dont's" super strictly in my previous pregnancies - gasp, I enjoyed a good deli meat sandwich almost weekly. So far, the most intriguing set of data she's presented was that on alcohol consumption. It's definitely a refreshing perspective when there's so much fear out there being peddled by friends, family, doctors and online. Half the battle is just knowing the risks and the information she's sharing is helpful since those risks might not be as big as we're led to believe. Wish I had known about this book much sooner...might have eased some guilt about the things I didn't fear in the first place! 
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  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @jhysmath
    I've got the "shit no one tells you" for pregnancy...if this one continues to go well I'll likely pick up the other ones as well.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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  • trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    I highly recommend this book to first time dads or any dad finding it difficult to connect with the mom during pregnancy. Each week is only a couple pages long, explains what's happening with the pregnancy, and gives pointers on how to help Mom during that time. It also touches on difficult topics along the way, which was so helpful for my husband.

    We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1939754682/
    DD 10/2019
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  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    @kboydbowman I don't know if reading it does the same as listening, but I was cracking up when I would drive listening to it. The toddler one I think made me laugh even harder. 
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  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    I also like the "Girlfriend's Guide" series of books for pregnancy, babies, toddlers, etc.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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  • komamommykomamommy member
    I loved reading anything from Sarah Ockwell Smith, especially her stuff on sleep. She was one of the only authors that didn’t leave me feeling like I was doing something wrong. Her blog posts are great and so are her books!
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  • liliennelilienne member
    A friend just gave me Nurture Shock, which I'm finding interesting so far. I also really liked Expecting Better, and Cribsheet is next on my list. I have to confess, my mother gave me a few books on "respectful parenting" by Janet Lansbury and they are really not resonating with me. There are a few things I like, such as being thoughtful with the praise you give and always empathizing with your child even when you aren't going to give them what they want. But it all feels so dogmatic...I do better with books that tell me the reasoning behind their recommendations, and with books that spend more time telling me what to do than they spend telling me what not to do.
    First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22

    Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!

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  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    Just added Cribsheet to my wishlist/registry.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


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  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    @lilienne I follow ig accounts on respectful parenting and I really want to be that parent, but I lose my cool too easily and am triggered by toddler whining sometimes. 
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  • trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    kboydbowman said:
    Just added Cribsheet to my wishlist/registry.
    I'd pass on this one. I loved Expecting Better, but Cribsheet basically just spit back info you hear and read everywhere else, or that is common sense. I wasn't at all impressed.
    DD 10/2019
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  • whitta1015whitta1015 member
    @jhysmath Same. I have good intentions and really try to keep it together but mannn they will drive you insane. 
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  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @trapperkeeper87
    noted, thanks.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • liliennelilienne member
    @jhysmath and @whitta1015 yeah...that's part of what I find so confusing about this one. I mean, respectful parenting is supposed to be about treating everyone in the equation as a human who deserves care, consideration, and understanding. But then the parents are supposed to be 100% perfect at saying and doing everything absolutely by-the-book all the time, under fear of ruining their kid's attachment or self-esteem if they get it wrong?
    First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22

    Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!

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  • whitta1015whitta1015 member
    @lilienne And some children just don't respond to calmly telling them that something is bad/wrong. I feel like I'm a pretty firm parent, but I also tell my daughter every single day how beautiful she is, how she's my best friend, and how much I love her. She needs firm disciplining but she also trusts me and is very attached to me. I think it's just all about what works for you and your child.
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  • JRae2015JRae2015 member
    Another vote for Ina May … esp for anyone wanting to go without drugs for delivery.  I liked Breastfeeding Made Simple:7 Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers, but I have to say it didn’t really make sense until I actually had the baby in my arms. I might recommend skimming it before but then keeping it for reference once you actually have the baby. And a good lactation consultant is worth way more than trying to read it in a book. 

    I also enjoyed Nurture Shock. And one called Prenatal Parenting by I’m not remembering the author … I read all these like 8 years ago though so I’m not up on anything more recent. 

    Finally, on the respectful parenting front - I found How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen full of concrete tips to implement more respectful parenting with my toddler. Agree that 100% of the time is an impossible goal but I thought the authors did a good job laying out helpful examples. And I LOVE Dr. Becky Kennedy - I follow her on Instagram and get her emails. She does a podcast too. I gave up Insta for Lent so I can’t check her handle but it’s something like Dr. Becky Good Inside. 
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  • laj0217laj0217 member
    I forget who recommended Baby411, but when we went for our prenatal pediatrician appointment, the doctor gave us a copy. He said it’s a great common sense, easy to understand reference for just about any baby related concern. 
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  • babywiikbabywiik member
    I haven't read Janet Lansbury's books but I listen to her podcast. Parents will write to her with a scenario and she'll read it +offer feedback that I've found super helpful. The vibe I get from her is that she wants to help parents have authority and a voice. To be able to say "no" or "now it's time for..." and be able to say so without loosing their cool. She doesn't say you never should lose your cool and get upset. We're all human and we all will have those moments. One thing that she said that has really helped me with my 16 month old is when she said that kids have to throw fits and have tantrums. It's part of there growth and development. We'll, this last week, my daughter has been having LOTS of fits and crying over EVERYTHING. It's a lot easier to just let her throw her fit when I remember "she has to do this. It's part of the development of 16 months". I don't have to take it personally or get annoyed because it's her struggle, not mine. I'm just there to support her should she want/need it. I dont have to feel bad or think something is wrong when I tell her no, you can't play in the toilet and she throws herself to the floor. Another podcast she talked about screen time and gave some science to back up why it's not good for young kids. Then she said that there are times when it will be necessary for parents to use screens and it's not going to ruin their child to have some screen time and parents do the best they can with the resources they have. I've felt her to be very non-judgemental and only wants to help parents if they find that what they're doing isn't working for them anymore.

    Second that "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" and "how to talk so little kids will listen" (yes, two different books. One is writen by two women and the second is written by one of the first women's daughter and a friend) is amazing. So many helpful tools and pretty easy to look back for reference. 
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  • liliennelilienne member
    @babywiik thanks for the info! Maybe I'll check out Janet Lansbury's podcast. I didn't dislike everything she said, but I found the tone of the books too off-putting to really benefit from them. 
    First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22

    Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!

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  • lalarose22lalarose22 member
    Was so excited that my chiro office had Ina May's Guide to Childbirth in their library to check out! 
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  • csardaszzcsardaszz member
    Another vote for Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth… The first half is birth stories. I’m a home birther, and when I was in labor with my first I found it helpful to re-read the stories while soaking in the bathtub.

    I also really liked Mindful Birthing by Nancy Bardacke. It has some excellent meditations and pain management strategies that I have found useful not just during labor, but in other realms of life as well.
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