Thinking about switching obgyn, anyone deal with this sort of thing?

bird_lady · February 2022

Hello all!

I am brand new to this community! :) I decided to join to get some advice for my current situation. Sorry if this is long, Im just blah about all this.
I am 30 yrs old and currently 9 weeks along with my first baby. Im considering already changing doctors, but I wanted to hear other peoples opinions and know if I'm just overreacting.

When I got pregnant I weighed 190lbs. This puts me in the overweight but not obese BMI category. Hubby and I went to our first prenatal appt at 8 weeks. The OB asked me what I weighed before being pregnant and I said 190 at home. I weigh myself first thing in the morning with no clothes. The scale at the doctors said I weighed 197 that day. They weighed me in the evening with my boots and heavy clothes on. So obviously I would weigh more.

I have never faced weight stigma or anything with any doctor. I think its a combo of I hold my weight pretty well and I have a lot of muscle, so I don't look obese or anything. Maybe a little chubby but even my belly is flat.
Now, the obgyn told me I already gained half my pregnancy weight, going off of the weight I gave her and what I weighed that day at the doctors. She wants me to only gain at most 15 lbs. But I didn't gain half my weight though, that morning my home scale said 191, I only gained a pound. So she said for me to stop eating carbs and made a comment of how I was probably eating a lot of carbs before getting pregnant. Which was untrue, I was eating an anti-inflammatory diet to try and help my endometriosis, but she never asked.
Another thing with that, I told her I had endometriosis and asked if it was of concern, but she shrugged it off and said most diagnoses for endo are incorrect and I probably don't have it... This actually hurt me a lot. It took me YEARS to finally get diagnosed for this awful thing I dealt with since a teen and she just sort of dismissed it. She could have just said its not of concern and left it.

Anyways, she is also having me do an early GD test at 11 weeks. She didn't say why (I should have asked >.<), but I read after its not normal to do it until later in pregnancy. There is no diabetes in my family at all, which I realize now she never asked me about that either. Not even gestational. Ive never had a bad A1C number and my recent blood work from December showed Im all good. No protein or anything in my urine either. So I dunno if she just assumed Id have it already cause Im overweight or what, but I thought that was weird, unless it is normal to get it early if you're overweight?

Anyways, the more I think about it, the less comfortable I am with her, and the more I think about her the worse I feel about my weight. I have never in my life felt bad about my weight! Im active, go hiking every weekend, work out regularly and eat healthy. I was so off put about just her little comments here and there that I couldn't even defend myself. But I dunno if Im being overly sensitive or what. My husband didn't like her little comments either, but he said its for me to decide what I feel most comfortable with doing.
I have a 12 week appt with her coming up and thought I might just see how she is and if she makes any more weird comments. Anyone dealt with something like this? Am I just overreacting?

harpseal135 · February 2022

Um just for the comment about Endo, I would have said F^$# you and walked out. I had stage 4 severe endo where my left ovary was on top of my right, a huge endometrioma bled out into my belly multiple painful surgeries, many, many drugs to try and keep the pain at bay and/or suppress the endo, that comment pisses me off!

As for the other stuff, yes I would run. Your home scale and the dr scale may be off from eachother, I know mine is vs theirs. I'm always heavier there!

Sorry but find someone new.

meggyme · February 2022

I second finding someone else. I know people that have switched doctors WAY later in their pregnancy.

ejoseph16 · February 2022

I would be gone. 100%. You should not be that focused on your weight. You should be focused on growing a healthy baby! With her, you’re going to be anxious stepping on that scale every time. Don’t do it! Move on!

paytonpedro · February 2022

Definitely find someone else!! You can find a new obgyn at any point in your pregnancy if you don’t feel comfortable and I wouldn’t have been comfortable in that situation! Fwiw, my last 2 out of 3 pregnancies I’ve been in the overweight BMI, but like you have have a lot of muscle and carry my weight well. I have never been told I needed an early GD test because of that. That just comes off so rude to me!!

bird_lady · February 2022

Thank you all! Glad to know my feelings are valid.
I am going to switch doctors at my next visit. :) Unfortunately I live semi rural and we only have the one clinic, closest one besides this one is about 45-60 minutes away lol but there are multiple doctors at this clinic so I will request to meet another one.

@harpseal135 So sorry about your endo, that sounds terrible to go through. I can't imagine. I think the comment she made about it was what really upset me the most and made me question this doctor. Her profile says she specializes in it too. lol

harpseal135 · February 2022

@bird_lady specializes in it? That is an aweful comment to make if she truly specializes in it.

silverholly8 · February 2022

Gurl, BYEEEEE to that doctor

meowtilda · February 2022

Run don't walk away. One of the reasons endometriosis is *under* diagnosed is because doctors insist that *everything* that's wrong with a woman who weighs more than the numbers they've come up with based off a "standard" body type is all because of weight. Fatphobia is everywhere in our society, but it's most dangerous in the doctor's office. Who knows what other legitimate concerns she might dismiss because she's convinced you're unhealthy because of your weight?

meggyme · February 2022

Or that she’d create, like the excessive weight gain she’s already teeing up for you because she doesn’t want to use your office weight as a starting point. As far as the GD test goes, I’d get a second opinion. She’s likely basing that on your weight, which if it’s as you say and mostly muscle. Not to say you couldn’t have it, but typically you would t test for it until much later.

bird_lady · February 2022

@harpseal135 yeah her profile says she specializes in Endo and PCOS! It’s actually a reason why I picked her out of the other doctors. Thought she would understand my situation more in case I was at risk while pregnant or anything.

cltdd · February 2022

I switched my doctors during the first trimester last pregnancy and I was so glad I did as I ended up having complications. Anytime a doctor is dismissive of your concerns, and family history (or lack thereof) or doesn't actually ask questions but just makes assumptions it's a massive red flag. Good for you for looking for a new provider at your clinic. You're your biggest advocate for your health and you need someone who's going to help you not hinder you.

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