Mental Health Check In - January

pinkkillersheep · January 2022

Pregnancy is tough, let’s talk about it! Please remember to keep this a safe, supportive space for all who need it. I’ll keep this pretty free form but here are some prompts if you need them:

How are you feeling?

What has you worried/scared/depressed?

Anything else you need to put out into the universe?

Tulips29 · January 2022

How are you feeling? Sometimes great, sometimes pretty crappy. This is my third IVF baby, so I know I willingly participated in the getting here process, but sometimes I wonder what the heck was I thinking. My 2 kids are already a handful at times and it's not going to get any easier. But I also get excited giving my kids another sibling and having a big family. It's an emotional ride.

What has you worried/scared/depressed? Mostly scared how we will handle 3 kids, FT jobs, all the responsibilities, etc. Also scared about the state of the world and the whole covid situation. I want to stop worrying but I can't. I look at friends who are out and about, enjoying parties and such and I feel I want to do the same but that it's also not responsible right now. I don't know how to turn down the anxiety.

Anything else you need to put out into the universe? My husband has been super supportive, but I know he also stays away from sharing his worries with me so they don't worry me even more. I feel guilty honestly. I'm an over-sharer and always speak what's on my mind so I'd want him to do the same in return.

shoarmie99 · January 2022

@Tulips29 I am a FTM but I also feel very overwhelmed about how to do it all. I'm at a pivotal point in my career and I'm worried about how to do all the things well. I try and remind myself - one thing at a time - and that there is only so much we can control. And to breathe. But I'm not sure that's helpful. And I agree that Covid makes everything more complicated and more challenging.

Tulips29 · January 2022

@shoarmie99 I appreciate your insight. It's true, we can't control a lot and have to take it one thing at a time. It also helps knowing I'm not alone in this.

furmama2babymama · January 2022

How are you feeling?

Isolated and depressed. I felt this way at the beginning of the pandemic and I’m starting to feel this way again. I work remotely since March 2020, so only see my coworkers via zoom, my husband works outside of the house so I’m alone a lot. My family has seemed to stop being careful about covid, so I am cautious about spending time with them. They are all treating me like Im insane but I can’t help wanting to be extra careful now that im pregnant.

What has you worried/scared/depressed?
Covid, not being able to enjoy all the things people pre-pandemic were able to such as a big shower and all of my friends and family meeting my baby when she’s here. Just life being so blah in general because of it, etc..

ewinghaylea · January 2022

Hey @furmama2babymama ! I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I have been working remotely since March 2020 and my fiancé works all day so I am stuck at home alone. It’s really depressing. I find that I have too much time on my hands which causes me to overthink—in turn, the depression makes it nearly impossible to gather motivation to get things done. You’re not alone ❤️❤️

wombom · January 2022

I’m feeling very non emotional. I’m typically a very very emotional person. I used to cry at least once a week for example, I love emotions. But since becoming pregnant I can’t cry, I can’t be excited about my baby, I can’t feel happy or really sad. I’m just flat, and I miss my emotions tbh. I’m worried I’m going through my pregnancy in auto mode and later on I’ll be upset that I wasn’t more joyful about it. When I think of June, I think of the money I don’t have, the career I don’t have, and the wedding I didn’t get to have because of the lack of funds and new baby.

I’ve never been one to stress about money, I knew I would figure it out somehow but lately it’s all that’s on my mind. It’s horrible. I just want to think about my baby and enjoy this time!

KFrob · January 2022

@Tulips29 I pretty much could have written that. I’m completely freaking out about handling another baby and feel the same way about Covid. I get so bitter, like who do these people think they are?

@furmama2babymama I feel the same way. And it’s almost worse than the beginning bc we got a moment in the summer where it seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Now we’re back to things being worse, only the rest of the country seems to not care and forget there are some of us at high risk or have kids under 5. I’m desperate for self care, a hobby, a social life.

Tulips29 · January 2022

@furmama2babymama Not sure if this perspective will help, but I've felt alone and isolated when this all started and I kind of shifted my mentality a bit. I work from home so I'm home all day on my own and I embrace it now. It allows me to work in peace and quiet, I can take an uninterrupted lunch break all to myself without catering to the family and my lunch breaks sometimes include a long shower to decompress or go for a walk. But I agree on trying to enjoy all the things we enjoyed 2+ years ago. That part is hard.

@KFrob lol, those people think they are invincible. I legit have a friend who thinks as long as you don't hug/kiss people, it's fine to be at large gatherings without masks. She just says to wash hands often and sanitize after touching anything. She and her family have been on multiple vacations in these 2 years, go to parties every weekend, you name it. It truly baffles me how they've escaped covid the entire pandemic, but she claims it's due to her sanitizing/hand washing/not touching people methods. I really wish I could not give a F like her. Would truly help my mental health.

pinkkillersheep · January 2022

I just want to give everyone here a hug. At some point I’ll throw my own mental health struggles out there when I’m feeling up to it, but for now I’m just so sorry there’s so much stress in the world and in everyone’s personal lives. It’s truly unfair what the pandemic has meant for vulnerable populations. I agree I thought the end was on site as we reached the conclusion of the delta surge. The current one is just completely demoralizing.

binxybaby · January 2022

I feel like I'm just trudging through the days. I think it's a combination of pandemic, winter, pregnancy, and burn out both at work and personally. Probably the only thing keeping me from completely just giving up is my antidepressant. I don't feel particularly excited about this pregnancy even though it was very planned and I don't feel like I can really keep up with anything. I'm behind in every aspect of my life, but I'm also way too tired to do anything. Hoping this is short-lived and I can get some pep in my step here soon.

mauvelousone · January 2022

Me 18 weeks ago: "Well pandemic says I can't go out and have fun anyway, might as well get pregnant."

Me now: "If I'm not actively eating then I am contemplating death."

Turns out being pregnant sucks extra hard when you can only leave your house for work.

hillies22 · January 2022

@binxybaby @mauvelousone I totally hear both of you and feel the same. Everything is hard right now. For me, it's also the fact that we can't celebrate normal pregnancy moments with the people in our lives. I feel like that's keeping me from getting at all excited.

Things will get better soon, and if nothing else, grateful for summer babies so we can spend more time safely outside the house.

pinkkillersheep · January 2022

How are you feeling? It took the better part of the month, but I’m finally feeling ok. I think I’m figuring out what habits I need to put in place to stay in a healthy state of mind.

What has you worried/scared/depressed? I’ve been genuinely afraid of ending up feeling alone and isolated in this journey, especially once the baby is here. A prevalent, automatic thought has been “I’ve disappeared.” I don’t want to completely lose myself, and I fear I don’t have a strong enough local social network to support me through the hardest times. Every time DH prioritizes work over family I go down this very dark rabbit hole of what it will mean to do this myself. We’ve had some very painful conversations about it. I know he’ll continue to work on it, but it’s been a common theme throughout our relationship so I know it won’t get better overnight.

Anything else you need to put out into the universe? I’ve been putting effort into making more friends at this phase of their life and it’s finally starting to feel like I’m building good friendships. I’m very grateful for the kindness I’ve been shown recently as I put myself out there.

KFrob · January 2022

@pinkkillersheep I'm still trying to find myself 6 years after having my first baby and struggling. I have a very hard time putting my needs first and will flat out tell DH I get jealous that he has the ability to just leave and go do something without anxiety or guilt. I'm in a similar situation with DH and work. He doesn't necessary put work first, but he works a ton to be able to afford all these kids in daycare. He's also the one with the career and goals, where I have a job just to pay the bills. He says his end goal is to be able to get to a place in his career where he's only working one full time job and not these side hustles also, but since he's the type of person to like to stay busy I worry that he'll just find something else to take up his time and not be around.

ournextadventure · January 2022

@kfrob I feel exactly the same.
I've had this extra guilt lately of feeling like I'm not a good mom. I feel like I'm not able to be the mom my daughter needs to due the sickness and exhaustion. I then get in my head and feel like I will never be enough for two children. I feel like my daughter needs more of me than I can give her. I know she is happy, safe, and loved but I just don't feel like I am able to give her what she deserves. It's caused me to have a few emotional break downs recently. My husband is super supportive. Its a big reason i want to be a stay at home mom after this baby. I want to give my kids my full attention instead of trying to divide between them and work.

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