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Help, surprise nearly ruined!

knottie51e4c1861dc14d93knottie51e4c1861dc14d93 member
edited January 2022 in 1st Trimester
My husband and I were definitely not planning on getting pregnant any time soon. But it happened and I was waiting to surprise our parents (who live out of town) until I got to see them in person. We did tell two of our close friends, just to have someone to talk to in the meantime. I would rather them know if I miscarried than my parents. 
I’m only about 7/8 weeks also. 
One of our friends that we told ran into my MIL and asked “did they tell you the big news?” (Because my husband did not make that clear to him!). And now she knows something is up! Any ideas of what to tell her instead? Or should we not say anything? Has this happened to anyone before? We really want to tell her in person! 
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Re: Help, surprise nearly ruined!

  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    edited January 2022
    Sorry, but just tell them?  If you are going to tell friends, that is offending to parents that they are not worthy enough to know, but yet your friends are? 

    Just my opinion, but its not your friends fault she said anything.  If you wait to tell, your MIL will get pissed due to the fact that friend knew and not her. 
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  • inthewoods23inthewoods23 member
    A friend of mine was the first we told because she was my support through my entire IF journey. She wouldn't ever come across my parents and wouldn't spill the beans to anyone anyway. She did tell her husband but told him to act dumb at her birthday party 😆.

    I think you'll just have to take this as a lesson learned. If you have specific plans for telling certain people then you need to make it clear in the beginning that they shouldn't tell others until you tell them it's okay. Like "hey don't say anything about it until I'm able to tell my parents on (date)".
    *TW* History
    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 | all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC ended due to filing divorce

    **New relationship starting May 2024**

    Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
    Its Gonna Be May GIFs Tenor
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  • kenzi49kenzi49 member
    I also told my close friend first and totally get that you want to tell family in person. It can be so exciting and fun. I would say that if they ask just tell them you would rather have the conversation in person or divert the conversation 😂 as hard as that can be. Ultimately it's your news and you get to choose how and when you tell those around you! 
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