PGAL Check-In w/o 1/13

inthewoods23 · January 2022

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es)

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?

Previous loss(es)?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

Any milestones coming up?

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity?

runnergirl2018 · January 2022

Hi! I had stopped posting or reposting this because it seemed like we had limited engagement. Is there anything anyone would want more out of these check ins?

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 14+3 today

Previous loss(es)? 1

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? feeling better as things move along and continue looking good -although anxiously waiting for the 20 week anatomy ultrasound. Physically starting to feel more normal. still super tired, sleep is still poor but improving, much less nauseous

Any appointment updates? got NIPT results last week and everything was good! also did genetic screening for SMA and CP and those were negative, so i feel good about that

Rants/Raves/Questions? Curious how everyone is handling announcing when you might still be feeling anxious. We've told immediate family, i told my boss and then also disclosed the recent loss last year to explain why i wasn't maybe ready to share more widely with our team. Im excited for baby but still in the state of mind that i know theres no guarantee in anything so my excitement is certainly apprehensive and i'm in the IF not WHEN state of mind. I don't expect any of that to go away, but it makes me apprehensive to share with more people and having to deal with all their excitement. Even before my loss I had a little bit of this mindset because I know nothing is guaranteed, it just seems even more amplified now

Any milestones coming up? Happy to be in 2nd tri and past the point where we lost our last baby. looking forward to 20 wk ultrasound

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity? puzzles! and organizing!

inthewoods23 · January 2022

@runnergirl2018 if we're not going to get a lot of engagement here, I'm fine if we stop posting these. One less GTKY question to come up with haha. I feel that this thread was helpful in the early weeks when there was a lot more anxiety about getting further along. I will agree that I've had weird feelings the more people we've told. I've had this stupid idea that the more people I tell, the more likely something is going to go wrong out of the blue. Don't tell people if you're not ready.

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 14 weeks / July 14 / FTM

Previous loss(es)? 1

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I'm really happy to be officially in the 2nd trimester. I'm actually about to post my social media announcement. It's such a weird feeling. This pregnancy has been entirely smooth. The only anxiety I've had is when I was stuck in covid quarantine and couldn't be seen by the doctor for labs or an ultrasound and pretty much any period of time right before an ultrasound appointment. My past MC started with brown spotting and then period like bleeding but I know that doesn't mean that's how every MC would go so I was always anxious before the ultrasounds hoping we wouldn't go in and find out baby suddenly stopped growing or the HB was gone.

Any appointment updates? My last ultrasound at 12 weeks showed I was measuring 4 days ahead. Haven't had any appointments since. My NIPT results came in before the new year and everything was in the clear too so that was a major relief. I've got a basic check in appointment in 2 weeks followed by the anatomy scan in February.

Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave - that I've got a bit of a bump going on! Yay. It's my only reassurance now that there's no ultrasounds for months. I've noticed that over the last day or two I haven't been super duper tired in the evening so I must be getting some energy back.

Any milestones coming up? Nope, we passed my 1 loss milestone over a month ago

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity? Watching TV and sipping on a hot beverage. Most likely hot chocolate!

sunshineandlemons · January 2022

I’d be ok with letting this one go and agree this was nice in the early weeks.

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 13w2d DD 7/19 and this will be my third baby.

Previous loss(es)? I had a missed miscarriage in July.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
I’m doing alright. I was digging around in my online records for my OB and found the notes and records from my D&E. It made me a little sad thinking about it.

Any appointment updates? Nope, I go tomorrow. It sounds crazy but I’m not even excited about it because I got a Doppler and have listened to the baby’s HB a few times already. I’m not going to get any new information so it feels like something I have to go do. Which, I realize is a very privileged problem. This is just a weird point in pregnancy where I can’t feel the baby yet, we aren’t to the point of measuring fundal height, and there are no late-stage pregnancy things to really worry about/discuss yet, so it should be an uneventful appointment.

Rants/Raves/Questions?

Any milestones coming up? I’ve made it past my MMC milestone so that feels good but every day feels like a blessing. I definitely took my prior healthy pregnancies for granted.

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity?

On my own- napping or crafting- paper crafts, sewing or more recently, finger knitting chunky blankets.

With my family- playing games- either board or on the Nintendo switch or wii with my family.

rosegoldg · January 2022

I haven't really been present on here in the last month so I'm fine either way, when I get overwhelmed I tend to draw into myself and that last month of first trimester just got a bit too much for me.

@runnergirl2018 I definitely felt hesitant about telling anyone, I started off saying I was just going to tell my managers but slowly people started to find out due to my nature of work. For announcing to everyone I told my husband I needed to wait until after our previous loss milestones which he really respected, I started off saying we were going to announce Christmas Day and took the photos ready but I couldn't put it out there for around another week. It's way easier said than done but just wait until you feel most ready and even turn off your notifications or put your phone down for the night afterwards, you don't have to respond to others straight away

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 15 / July 4th / FTM

Previous loss(es)? 2

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Like I'm starting to get back to my normal self now. I'm officially in the second trimester, we've announced it officially and my stomach is definitely turning into a bump so I kind of have more of a sense of security now?

Any appointment updates? Midwife next Thursday although my friend who just had her 16 week appointment told me that they don't do the heartbeat until later now which I'm nervous about. Really wanted that extra reassurance so debating buying a doppler to see me through second trimester

Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave - Me and husband both have the evening free tonight so we're going to cook a nice dinner and continue on our 'top 100 movie list' as a little date night

Any milestones coming up? Waiting for my letter to come through with my 20 week scan date and being able to find out the gender

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity? Duvet day with horror movies, the crappier the better

lilirunning34 · January 2022

I do a lot more lurking then I do posting here. Partly because of my loss and partly because I’m pretty busy.

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 12w5d/4TM

Previous loss(es)? 1 in August

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’m feeling better as I near the 2nd tri. Each appt has me feeling good and then after a few days have passed the anxiety creeps back in.

Any appointment updates? I had an ultrasound this week and everything looked good but my placenta was low. I remember this with another pregnancy and it’s common in early pregnancy and should go higher as the pregnancy progresses. But of course now it makes me spiral. My dr wasn’t at all concerned though and I try to follow her lead.

Rants/Raves/Questions?

Any milestones coming up? 2nd tri is almost here!

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity? Does this even happen in Texas? I guess drinking a hot beverage and watching a movie or baking.

lilirunning34 · January 2022

@rosegoldg wow I can’t believe they don’t do the Doppler. I’d probably buy one too then. I can’t wait til I can feel movement because I know that’ll be another milestone and something that hopefully gives some reassurance.

lilirunning34 · January 2022

@runnergirl2008 I definitely struggle with the announcing thing. I’m taking a FB break for January so I at least don’t have to worry about it right now. Right now I’m in the camp of not even wanting to announce, but I think I eventually will. Maybe around 20 weeks. A lot of people know, but I’m just not completely public yet. It was hard telling people early because my excitement didn’t match theirs which made me feel terrible so I stopped telling people for awhile. I’m starting to get excited though so I’m just waiting for the time to be right.

bumblebee0210 · January 2022

@runnergirl2018 I totally get the anxiety. I do think it's easier once you have also had it work out, because you sort of know that it can go well, too. My pregnancy with my daughter was after a loss, and I was filled with dread for the first ~14 weeks or so. It did get better though.

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 12w4d, STM

Previous loss(es)? 2 CPs, 1 MMC at 8w, 1 MMC (twins) at 11.5 weeks

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Better-- I think I have actually turned a corner on the nausea in the last few days, which is nice. Now I'm starving all the time. Emotionally, I'm not super anxious but still a little detached from the pregnancy-- I am showing now, and it's almost like every time I see myself I'm like "oh yeah' I'm pregnant". I think fetal movement (and being solidly in the 2nd tri) will help.

Any appointment updates? NT ultrasound next Friday. Hoping to hear HB on the doppler at my next appointment, around 15 weeks.

Rants/Raves/Questions? I'm "out" at work now, in part because I definitely look pregnant, and also because I am an academic, so leaves, etc have to be decided well in advance. It still makes me a little wary, but whatever, if I miscarry at 13 or 14 weeks they can deal with it. I also was *seriously* showing in the first tri in my last pregnancy (because it was close spacing and twins), but it was pandemic times so I was able to hide it much more easily.

Any milestones coming up? I'm past all of my previous losses-- with the twins we found out at 11.5 weeks at the first prenatal after a good 8-week US, so I *insisted* on an ultrasound at my 11-week appointment this time, and we saw a HB and baby moving around. So that was reassuring. And this baby was a genetically tested embryo (and NIPT normal now too), and a singleton, so I logically know there is little reason to worry, but... logic doesn't always hold a candle to PTSD.

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity? Definitely curling up with a good book, preferably by a fire with a hot beverage.

runnergirl2018 · January 2022

@bumblebee0210
thank you for the supportive comment

i think i went into my last pregnancy thinking that and there’s something about a MMC that just messed with my head, like I could keep thinking things are fine and they could stop being fine weeks before i know , even though at this point I know the risk factors are low for that to happen

@lilirunning34 thank you. I am thinking maybe around 20 weeks after anatomy ultrasound. I did tell my immediate coworker today and we are tellling people sporadically as we spend time with them but no big formal announcement, which is a little unusual for me but just feels right for now. It is somewhat of that - i am happy to be pregnant but still so apprehensive and anxious mixed in there that i know the excited piece doesn’t match other people’s. My husband still gets caught off guard sometimes because I’ll say “if this baby” or stuff like that, that’s more of “if” instead of “when”. Although I go a little up and down these days and I DID just purchase a picture for the nursery

@rosegoldg glad you found the timing that worked for you

velvetblue88 · January 2022

@lilirunning34 I feel you. I feel great when we have an appointment and I can see a dancing baby, but it's so early that I don't know if the occasional poking feelings I have are actually kicks and movement or gas. Or something wrong. Because I always worry. I'm trying to be better about that. I keep telling myself that after I get past the 14-week mark, I might actually worry less. Probably unlikely, but one can hope. 😆

bumblebee0210 · January 2022

@runnergirl79. Oh yeah-- I have had two MMCs and they are truly mindf*cks. I was very sick/symptomatic with both too, so it drives me nuts when people are like "nausea is a good sign!" I mean I know it's true but it has never been helpful with my pregnancies.

peppylilfoxy · January 2022

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 13w3d

Previous loss(es)? 6 miscarriages, 1 stillborn

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Honestly, it's been tough this week. We got our NIPT results and everything is good but we found out it's another boy. We are super happy but my husband is having trouble with it. We had solidified a name and he suddenly got all wishy washy about it. I realized it had nothing to do with the name but rather a trauma response to having another boy.

He says a) he's having trouble connecting to boy names and he doesn't think he would be like this if Jack was alive and this was our second boy and b) he's worries about getting attached to the name now and then losing the baby in birth again and having another name ruined for him.

It breaks my heart that he feels this way but at the same time I don't want this baby to be living in his brother's shadow. This IS our second boy. He's not a replacement and I want to celebrate his life and not sit in constant fear the entire pregnancy of losing him.

Any appointment updates?

Rants/Raves/Questions? On the upside of it all, we already have everything we need! I'm really getting so excited for being a boy mom again! I'm also feeling better and better about my decision to keep working after baby comes. I think it will be a great bonding experience for my hubby to stay home with him.

Any milestones coming up? So eager to finally be entering second tri!

GTKY: What's your favorite "it's too cold to go outside" activity?

Hot baths or bundling up and knitting/reading.

runnergirl2018 · January 2022

@bumblebee0210 exactly! i even had people who knew about my MMC tell me that i should consider nausea in my current pregnancy to be a good thing. if i knew them well enough i clearly told them that it didn't feel comforting because I had it the entire time until a d&c . carrying around a dead/dying baby in your body for 3-4 weeks and KNOWING the whole time that it is probably the case makes the mind a big mess. Sorry you've gone through it too

@peppylilfoxy hugs to you and your hubby

bolson16 · January 2022

@runnergirl2018 @bumblebee0210 - I feel this too, I think people try to say things as a way to attempt to provide compassion or comfort but in reality I’d rather have silence and empathy then some words. I had a MMC too with no signs leading up to it until our appointment. I’ll never forget the day learning about the MMC, I wanted the news to not be real in the worst way. Felt like a terrible dream I maybe had a slight chance of waking up from.

I elected to pass naturally as I needed closure in our home with my husband, it was a grueling experience as it took me an additional 3 weeks to pass, after finding out it been unknowingly carrying a dead/dying baby for 4 weeks prior.

Anyway, I’m jumping for joy this weekend as I officially hit 14 weeks yesterday (big as a peach!) which was our next and final milestone to get to and we did it! It feels like I can finally really drop into celebrating the gift of pregnancy and this healthy baby! It feels so wonderful to be here in this 2nd trimester and I’m truly celebrating all that got us to this place ❤️ Hoping same for all of you!

PGAL Check-In w/o 1/13

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