Friend HATES Kids

Re: Friend HATES Kids

• meggyme member

  December 2021

  preggoalaskan said:

  Any suggestions on how I should tell my friend that I'm pregnant? I'm looking for some funny or clever ways that will ease her attitude about it. She had been dreading us getting pregnant. I love her and I know that she loves us both and will be excited for us, but I know she isn't going to be thrilled to lose her drinking buddy.

  If your friend can’t be happy for you when you are celebrating because she can’t drink with you for 9 months you might want to broaden your friend base. And you also might not be giving her enough credit. She may surprise you by being super excited for you. It can feel daunting to share such life changing news, but if she is really a friend she will find a way to be happy for you.

  DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::

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• stormageddon-darklordofall member

  December 2021

  @preggoalaskan Why does your friend hate kids? Has she had losses or infertility struggles?  Is she just not ready to give up the freedom of young, carefree, drinking life? She must have a reason?  Either way, I would NOT go with something "funny" or "clever" as that probably won't ease the tension/issue (depending on her reasoning).  Maybe just sit her down, heart-to-heart, and be all "Look, I know you've been dreading this... but, blah blah blah... and I want you to know I still value your friendship and want to.... etc."  Ease her into it.  Don't just slam it into her face in a "funny" way that may only be funny to you.  

  *TW All the Loss* #BitterHagPartyOf1
  

  October 2015 - 1st MC.  7-8 weeks along. Suspected molar PG, but luckily just a MMC.

  June 2016 - 2nd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

  September 2016 - 3rd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

  RE 1: ALL the testing - 'unexplained'  "Yinz can do IVF or try on your own"

  Feb 2017 - 4th MC: 6 weeks

  RE 2: More tests. Still 'unexplained.'  Called fat for an entire hour-long appointment, cried a lot

  Feb 2019 - 5th MC: 6-7 weeks

  IUD - March 2019-March 2023

  RE 3:  Repeat all the tests. Hoping to try IVF.

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• and_peggy member

  December 2021

  I’m always live by the rule that other people’s reactions or opinions don’t dictate my life choice. I think having the knowledge of why she doesn’t like kids may help in your approach. But as mentioned above, you don’t need to make light of a serious situation. At the end of the day, you do what’s right for you; if that means you have a family, any real friend has no say in that. They can surely mourn what the friendship is now but also be genuinely happy for you. If they act any differently, may not be a friendship worth continuing.

  

  
  5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19

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• b_1029 member

  December 2021

  If drinking is her biggest concern, get her a bottle of wine or liquor and put your own label on it with something about you expecting on it. But I agree with what everyone else has said above. 

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