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March 2022 Moms
faithmovesmountains
member
PGAL 12/16
faithmovesmountains
member
This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc.
Weeks/EDD?
Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)?
How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Any appointment updates?
Any big milestones?
Any big milestones?
Rants/Raves/Questions?
Re: PGAL 12/16
Any big milestones? nope, just chugging along at this point.
Any big milestones? Made it to 3rd trimester, just hoping for good results with MFM these next few weeks in hopes to carry Lilly Rose to term.
I kept reiterating it’s not as simple as she thinks and I have faith, but I needed to process and prepare for the possibility of a NICU baby.
She seemed annoyed and said “Then live your life.”
We haven’t talked since.
I tried to text her today better explaining things, but IDK if she’ll understand.
@faithmovesmountains I'm so sorry your friend isn't able to support you properly. All of my closest friends (including my sister) other than 1 are all childless by choice...so they don't understand what it is to be a parent...and the one that has kids has 4 and has never experienced loss. They also don't get why I would rather hang out with my kids than go to parties or out for dinner so I've just stopped trying to explain. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this and navigate the fears and anxiety on your own. Thinking of you and sending ❤
@faithmovesmountains thinking of you ❤️ The advice your friend is giving you may seem to her to be harmless, could actually be re-trauamatizing. I’m so sorry she couldn't offer the support you needed. Im sure it would feel really isolating to have someone you care about minimize your experience. Here for whatever you need! Praying for your upcoming appointments
Any big milestones? Just waiting for 3rd tri 🤞
Thanks and kudos on the Christmas presents! I just finished wrapping all the presents the other night myself.
@Panaceia
I’ve had a few panic attacks, but getting to the point of almost passing out sounds a bit worrisome.
Might be worth bringing up with your OB in case it has something to do with low iron levels?
Sorry I can’t be more helpful. FX you feel better soon.
Any big milestones? 3rd tri 🎉
I’m sorry you feel that way, that has to suck.
By the way, YAY for 3rd Trimester 😊
I had postpartum depression after having my son, but I didn’t recognize it for a long time so it went undiagnosed and untreated.
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer halfway through my pregnancy with DS and when I was only 3 weeks postpartum my maternal grandfather died.
My Mom and her side of the family wanted to use baby snuggles to cope, but they selfishly made me come to them every time and like a well-meaning idiot I believed I could do it all, but it took its toll.
I was adjusting to being a new mom, healing up, and no one thought of me. They ate without me, shoved me off in the hottest room of the house to breastfeed so I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable. It felt like faces faded in and out of existence while I was trapped on this metaphorical island in the middle of the ocean with DS.
I would struggle through and return home blackout tired to stumble up the stairs to nurse and pass out for a couple hours.
My mom kept telling me how lucky I was not to have postpartum depression, but in truth I didn’t know. I didn’t know if my feelings were normal or if I was depressed.
It wasn’t until several months in that I realized and even then I felt like I couldn’t ask for help. Like I was trapped in my own head screaming for someone to notice me.
I think as a result of all the stress, I battled multiple rounds of mastitis.
This time around, I’ve been struggling still with my mental health while being pregnant, but I’m aiming to take better care of myself postpartum. Your post really resonated with me because I wish I had taken better care of myself with DS and had a support system that normalized sometimes needing help to maintain mental health is okay rather than a sign of lacking faith/strength.
I’m sorry you had to get to that point, but glad you were able to seek help.
I totally get that ‘prayer alone’ thing because I have been guilt trapped by that so many times into feeling like I’m not a good Christian because I try to give it all to God and I still have anxiety or struggle with a form of PTSD over the loss in my first pregnancy.
I also fully believe God can heal and I’ve seen him at work in my life, so I always got so thrown off in my inability to completely conquer mental health issues and wondered what I was doing wrong.
I’m only recently coming to a place where I realize I’m not necessarily doing something wrong in my walk with God, but it has a lot to do—at least for me— with not feeling supported.
It’s been a running theme this pregnancy where I’ve felt very unsupported and alone. Part of it is unpreventable. People have to work/ have their own lives. We’re in a pandemic still and MFM doesn’t allow children under 16 inside the building, so most of my appointments have been alone and will continue to be as I go through this patch of uncertainty.
Other things, though, come from lack of consideration from others. Maybe not on purpose, but there have been plenty to act as if nothing has changed while I’m pregnant.
That no physical or emotional changes I’m going through should impact my ability for certain tasks or ability to handle certain information. That when I say I feel like I’m overdoing it I’ve been brushed off. That if something triggers memories of my first pregnancy, I shouldn’t dwell on it or I’m worrying too much and I need to stop.
Some of the people that say prayer alone should fix these mental health issues are exacerbating them.
I agree there shouldn’t have to be a prerequisite to seeking help for mental health issues, but I also feel like toxic positivity is a big contributor to worsening them.
I was medicated for postpartum anxiety (actual diagnosis?) after DD1. I struggled with such bad anxiety , alot I felt was attributed from just being a first time mom and being absolutely clueless but I panicked over every little thing... couldn't sleep at all due to all the catastrophic thoughts in my head. Thankfully my husband recognized knew something wasn't right with me that I was far from my usual self, even with my new role as mommy and we spoke to my Dr about how I was feeling. I was put on something that was BF safe and eventually weaned off it. My OB now is aware of my past and has mentioned several times if at any point I feel I may need medication not to hesitate to reach out. I'm extremely thankful for that and that he's vigilant with his patient's mental health Too much goes undiagnosed when mental health is not made a priority and it absolutely is a priority. Its not a shameful thing as some unfortunately think. I was once that person that thought it was fictional. Taking care of yourself first is priority to take care of your loved ones. ❤
I can’t speak for everyone, but this topic is always flagged for trigger warning. I consider it a free space to express how we feel, because it’s not always easy to do that irl— particularly with everyone in our lives having their own opinions.
No need to apologize for your comments/ feelings IMO.
Emotionally & physically? Avoidant. I've been ignoring that I'm pregnant - I kept thinking at every stage that after ___ I'd feel better, but I'm not. I found the journal I kept during my daughter's pregnancy, and felt guilty that I only have 12 weeks to go and haven't written down anything. Physically I'm fine - have a growing belly finally, have gained a few pounds, so it's getting harder to ignore that a baby is coming. We haven't announced to anyone aside from siblings, parents and a few close friends, and I think we'll wait until he's here to do so.
Had an OB appointment today, another OB filling in for my regular one. She happened to know quite a bit about epilepsy during pregnancy, so she was able to provide a wealth of fantastic information that was very reassuring. Glucose/blood pressure were good, and I've been started on an iron supplement to help with anemia.
Any big milestones?
My husband and I were in the middle of a whole home renovation when I found out I was pregnant. We currently have the entire upper floor of our home demolished to the studs. New windows and insulation went in this week, and the drywallers will be starting the first week of January. I'm starting to panic a bit that it won't be done before baby, but I'm wondering if not having a room for baby or any baby things out may be contributing to the disconnect. May pull out some totes from storage, or order a few outfits online to help build that excitement!