A solid support person that you trust is a must. DH is my rock. He watches the monitors and lets me know when a contraction is coming. The monitors seem to be a second or 2 behind so I know they are coming before he tells me, but it’s still helpful in that it keeps me in the moment, reminds me that he’s in it with me, and aware that’s it’s temporary. He keeps reminding me to “ride the wave”, the contraction wave and that I’m one more contraction closer to meeting our baby. He also talks me through with breathing and paces me when I lose focus. When I start to panic or feel like I can’t do it anymore, he has me focus on pictures of our other kids and reminds me that at the end of the waves, we’ll have another just like them. ❤️ Works every time! I’d do anything for those little monsters! Lol!
I also give DH the reins when it comes to my care after a certain point. When the pain is too much for me to think straight, I trust his judgement when needing to make on the fly complex decisions. I want to be a part of the conversation, but I also need to focus on riding those waves.
DH is my snack bit@&. After the experience with my DS1, I know that I need food to keep my energy up for the contractions. It also helps me to not lash out at the nurses. I get hangry!
The ball, walking, swaying, slow dancing, leaning on DH, and leaning on the side of an elevated bed while standing and rocking we’re very helpful. Our hospital has a couple wireless heart rate monitors, so I always beg for those too.
Low lights, soft music, and conversations in between contractions.
Ride the wave!! Visualize yourself surfing/boating/swimming over those waves for each contraction. I’d say it out loud to remind myself.
Keep your face relaxed. A relaxed face will help a cervix do it’s job.
Make guttural, almost primal moans during contractions. It helps disperse all of that energy while still keeping you relaxed. And swear like a sailor if you need to.
Eating a good carb before heading to the hospital.
A hydrating Lip gloss or chap stick (A must), snacks, hair tie, sports bra, phone and charger, water bottle that I like, pics of my kids to focus on, hand lotion.
Being naked. Or mostly naked. At a certain point the gowns tick me off. I’m usually in a sports bra with my hair pulled back for labor. I’m not a small woman, but I don’t so much care about looking put together in that situation. I’m focused on other things. Not trying to win any beauty contests here. Your hard work and all the blood pumping will pink up your cheeks and lips naturally. I usually add waterproof mascara before heading to the hospital and keep lip gloss handy. That’s about it. I let the rush of a new baby add in the natural beauty to any first pics of me and baby. These photos are so much more beautiful anyway IMO. There is always time later for the perfect pics, but only one chance at capturing such perfectly raw beauty.
Things that did not help:
Extra family in the room. I needed to relax and let the contractions flow, not tense up to plaster a brave or an “I’m OK” look on my face for my family members. Family is not welcome in the waiting room either. It’s too much pressure for me. They’ll have their chance to see baby soon enough.
Not eating. Do you see a theme yet?! Lol!
Not getting rest. Energy! You need energy to have a baby!
Laying in a bed. Hate it. I try to avoid it within reason. Obviously, sleep trumps this though as does medical intervention in the best interest of baby.
Unrealistic expectations. Have a birth plan, but be prepared to divert your plans based on the situation. This does not make you a failure. It makes you a normal human being. Know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
Thanks everyone for sharing - I love reading these! I continue to get raised eyebrows when I say that I'm opting for a natural birth. Please keep sharing!!
My previous 2 births have been over 24hrs. I do get very exhausted as I don't get to sleep from the start of labour as they are close together from the start.
1st dilated till 9cm med free then ended up in c section. 2nd one was med free but not by choice by the time I wanted medication I was 9cm up. This time I want to go med free but at the same time I am too scared of labor. Though I am prepared for long labor I am kinda scared of the day. How do I stay calm and focused. Planning to labour at home till the end which I didnt get to do the last two times. By the way I am a 2vbac mom
@purpleye Look into hypnobirthing or the Bradley Method. What helped me was a lot of imagery, positive affirmations and phrases I could easily repeat to myself over and over when I needed to (“I can do this,” “my body is relaxed and open,” “every wave brings me closer”, etc), and I really needed DH to be on board and with the plan so he knew what I needed and what I didn’t without me having to ask or instruct him. It kept things really peaceful and steady even when I felt out of control, especially while I was transitioning, which made me panic and lose my mind for a few minutes.
@legallullabies people love to say negative things against med free. I don’t know why. Just know it can be done and the rush you get when you do it is amazing
This is all so encouraging! I'm a FTM and want to go med free if possible. So far I've had a straightforward pregnancy with no complications, so if that keeps up, I'm hopeful. Still researching different methods and coping strategies. My MIL gave me a book on the Lamaze method, which she swears by, but I'll be researching more modern techniques as well. I've heard good things about the Bradley method but don't know much about it yet.
Me: 30 // Hubs: 31 Married May 2019 Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
So today, I bought up the subject of a med free birth with my midwife and what I need to be looking into despite only being a little under 17 weeks. She says our area has training on Lemaze, hypnobirthing and the Bradley method. I know a few of you that mentioned these various techniques, but my question is that in your own research and decision making process how did you decide which was right for you?
@legallullabies We picked the Bradley Method because I did not want a doula or anyone else in the delivery room besides DH, and he was totally on board with being an involved support person. The Bradley Method depends on a hands-on, ever-present support person, with specific techniques directed towards them, so he was able to have concrete plans in place for what we needed. It seemed different to me in that way from others because most of them focus mostly on what the laboring person needs to be doing. I didn’t look too much into hypnobirthing but I think I will this time— my friend has had 4 med/intervention-free deliveries and swears by hypnobirthing.
@legallullabies at least in NYC where we were for DD3, it seemed like most of the classes were eclectic on some level - like we took probably what's closest to a Bradley method class (and it was intense, like eight 3-hour classes), but it definitely wasn't purely Bradley method. I'd prioritize looking at Yelp reviews, etc, because ultimately you'll get the most from the class with the best reviews of the teachers, etc, and if you end up needing a doula your instructors will be the best resource for you.
@legallullabies, I am still researching but am leaning toward the Bradley method for many of the reasons @aloha_mama mentioned. I haven’t taken any classes at this point. I just got several books on Bradley and Lamaze from the library, and so far Bradley has just clicked and made more sense to me. Depending on how prepared we feel after reading the books, we might not do an actual class. We’re both pretty used to learning on our own from books.
Me: 30 // Hubs: 31 Married May 2019 Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
Re: Med Free Birth
Things that helped:
A solid support person that you trust is a must. DH is my rock. He watches the monitors and lets me know when a contraction is coming. The monitors seem to be a second or 2 behind so I know they are coming before he tells me, but it’s still helpful in that it keeps me in the moment, reminds me that he’s in it with me, and aware that’s it’s temporary. He keeps reminding me to “ride the wave”, the contraction wave and that I’m one more contraction closer to meeting our baby. He also talks me through with breathing and paces me when I lose focus. When I start to panic or feel like I can’t do it anymore, he has me focus on pictures of our other kids and reminds me that at the end of the waves, we’ll have another just like them. ❤️ Works every time! I’d do anything for those little monsters! Lol!
Ride the wave!! Visualize yourself surfing/boating/swimming over those waves for each contraction. I’d say it out loud to remind myself.
Eating a good carb before heading to the hospital.
Being naked. Or mostly naked. At a certain point the gowns tick me off. I’m usually in a sports bra with my hair pulled back for labor. I’m not a small woman, but I don’t so much care about looking put together in that situation. I’m focused on other things. Not trying to win any beauty contests here. Your hard work and all the blood pumping will pink up your cheeks and lips naturally. I usually add waterproof mascara before heading to the hospital and keep lip gloss handy. That’s about it. I let the rush of a new baby add in the natural beauty to any first pics of me and baby. These photos are so much more beautiful anyway IMO. There is always time later for the perfect pics, but only one chance at capturing such perfectly raw beauty.
Extra family in the room. I needed to relax and let the contractions flow, not tense up to plaster a brave or an “I’m OK” look on my face for my family members. Family is not welcome in the waiting room either. It’s too much pressure for me. They’ll have their chance to see baby soon enough.
Not eating. Do you see a theme yet?! Lol!
Not getting rest. Energy! You need energy to have a baby!
Unrealistic expectations. Have a birth plan, but be prepared to divert your plans based on the situation. This does not make you a failure. It makes you a normal human being. Know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
1st dilated till 9cm med free then ended up in c section. 2nd one was med free but not by choice by the time I wanted medication I was 9cm up. This time I want to go med free but at the same time I am too scared of labor. Though I am prepared for long labor I am kinda scared of the day. How do I stay calm and focused. Planning to labour at home till the end which I didnt get to do the last two times. By the way I am a 2vbac mom
Married May 2019
Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
Married May 2019
Baby #1 due April 19, 2022