Mental Health check up - October

daisy0322 · October 2021

Feel free to share here, how your feeling good/bad/ugly. Or share If your doing anything for self care, Anything your proud of, Etc

I know not all will be Interested but this place will be here if you ever are! This needs to be a safe place for everyone please keep in mind we want to keep this a supportive safe space.

*** TW**** I wanted to start this because with DS1 I had horrible prenatal Depression that started in the first trimester and it turned into post partum depression. I was suicidal when I was discharged after delivery and was almost hospitalized for postpartum psychosis. I have no major mental health struggles normally but my body doesn’t respond well to pregnancy. It can happen to anyone. I took very good care of myself and worked with a fabulous therapist my second pregnancy and did much better! Inly a tad bit of anxiety and depression. I’m hoping this third time will be even better! This is a topic extremely near and dear to me. I felt so alone and like such a monster for the way I felt I’ve made it my personal mission to spread awareness, open lines of communication, and normalize self care during pregnancy!

wiseh · October 2021

I get extreme extreme anxiety when pregnant so I am focusing on methods to reduce that, though it’s not really working at the moment tbh. Something about not physically seeing the baby makes me feel so out of control. This is unfortunately playing out in my outside world as well and I’ve had to have a few mental health days from work & my social life. I am going back to work today though still feeling a bit deflated.

daisy0322 · October 2021

@wiseh Im sorry! I totally get feeling so powerless especially in the first trimester. Have you ever tried the headspace app? It really helps my anxiety I think Netflix has a thing on their app by them too! I always look forward to when you can feel baby moving around constantly I always feel better about that

KFrob · October 2021

@wiseh Sorry you're feeling so out of control.

@daisy0322 Thank you for sharing your story!

I'm pretty sure I had PPD with each child that presented itself a little bit differently each time. Mine is usually not immediate but somewhere around the 8 month mark when the lack of self and independence really starts to wear on me. My personality is to be a martyr which does not help anyone. I have a really hard time practicing self care.

*TW* I'm having a really rough, spiraling day today with my anxiety about the health of this pregnancy. I have no reason to believe anything is wrong and it's still so early but my symptoms aren't enough to ease my mind yet. I had a loss between DD1 and DD2 at around 8 weeks so I just want to fast forward to get past that 8 week mark. With that pregnancy I knew in my gut something was wrong, I don't feel like that this time. I'm trying to calm down.

huckleberrypie · October 2021

I am so anxious about losing the baby! I can't wait to get morning sickness (and I KNOW I'll regret saying this 😂) but I just want it to be real. I read an article that you're less likely to miscarry if you have morning sickness by 7+ weeks.

KFrob · October 2021

@huckleberrypie I keep telling myself not worry until I get closer to 7 weeks. I will also probably regret wanting to feel like junk!

yooleeah · October 2021

I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression a lot in my life. And this past year and half has been it’s worst for my anxiety

*TW* I had a MC earlier this year (would of been due next month) and I’ve had horrible anxiety about getting pregnant again. I’m not sure if it was my anxiety having to do with anything it in the first place with my stress levels. I’ve talk with work and got a new therapist and taking time for myself.

I’ve been telling myself daily that this baby and I will be happy and healthy. We deal with today’s problems today and no need to ponder on the past. It’s not always easy every day but striving to be better.

You all are so strong to dealing with any form of mental illness and know that you are not alone.

scostel2 · October 2021

Thank you for starting this

I struggle with anxiety. I've been working with an infertility therapist for a little over a year now and it has helped tremendously with the big feelings that have come along with infertility. Now that I'm pregnant I am just like...... in shock? I guess? I feel like I have a hard time acknowledging that I'm pregnant and that it's real, but also have this overwhelming terror that I will lose the pregnancy. Luckily, I have a therapy appointment tonight! Looking forward to it.

daisy0322 · October 2021

@scostel2 i have therapy tonight too! I definitely think it helps and TBH with my first (I can’t remember if this is your first) I didn’t feel pregnant until I felt him kick. I just felt like I was terminally ill until then with the morning sickness and fatigue

daisy0322 · October 2021

@yooleeah this has been an incredibly hard year and half! So much stress I think even people who normal don’t struggle have been at times.

@KFrob @huckleberrypie haha Im right there with you both I started feeling sick today Though and it’s a relief but I’m also miserable

scostel2 · October 2021

@daisy0322 This is my 2nd! And oddly, with my first, I didn't feel this way at all! I think maybe because I still had to do fertility treatments, but the road was much shorter and less intense (I got pregnant with my son on my 8th medicated cycle). It's been a looooong 4 years of trying this time, I think it just ruined me lol

daisy0322 · October 2021

@scostel2 I think that’s totally understandable. its been a long road

Tulips29 · October 2021

I'm going to join you ladies on the anxiety train, especially after infertility. I still can't accept that I'm pregnant. This is my third IVF baby and all I keep thinking about is "what if...what if they don't see anything at my ultrasound...what if then there's no heartbeat...what if this doesn't end well..." and it doesn't get any easier with every appointment that goes well. I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm terrified.

Also - I keep having constant thoughts of "how the heck are we going to handle 3 kids". Sometimes I lose my patience so fast with my 2 kiddos, and I feel SO guilty afterwards. Like I snap at them and then tell myself, why the heck did I do that, they are behaving as kids normally would". My husband is so much better at this than I am, and I feel terrible that I can't keep it together as much as he can.

caseys02 · October 2021

I am so damn paranoid this pregnancy and that the worst will happen. I know it won't ease up until at least 20 weeks.

*TW*

Between losing my daughter three years ago idk how I will be if I miscarry. I don't think I'll try again if I do. That was always a risk I knew I was going to take but now actually being pregnant its slapping me in the face every morning.
My SIL and Brother just had their D&C at 16 weeks due to genetic disorders, missing a full chromosome and a bunch of other things, and the baby passing last week. They're both older than me, 40/41, but I know that being 37 doesn't ease up my risks any less. I feel so horrible for them that they are dealing with this, they had two miscarriage's last year and have two beautiful boys but still it doesn't make it easier. With all the loss my family has had I just want to get through this OK and freaking out over every little thing.

idreamofginny · October 2021

@caseys02 I just wanted to say that I am in awe of you. I checked out your website and am so touched by how you've turned your family's tragedy into something positive for the community.

caseys02 · October 2021

@idreamofginny Thank you for saying that. I feel like it was just something I needed to do in her memory.

starkette · October 2021

I had my ultrasound today. Nothing was there. I think the worst happened. They did bloowork. My HCG is 91. Not great. Gonna have it done again Monday to confirm it's dropping.

marionberry19 · October 2021

@starkette I am so sorry that you are going through this. Wishing you all the best & for good news.

huckleberrypie · October 2021

@starkette I'm so sorry! 😭 I hope you get good news on Monday.

caseys02 · October 2021

@starkette I am so sorry!! Wishing I could give you a giant hug.

KFrob · October 2021

@starkette Oh no! I'm so so sorry

scostel2 · October 2021

@starkette I'm so sorry

chelsraec · October 2021

@starkette I’m so sorry

ournextadventure · October 2021

@starkette I'm so sorry. Virtual hugs sent your way.

idreamofginny · October 2021

@starkette I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and hoping for some positive news on Monday.

starkette · October 2021

TW loss

Thank you everyone. I had a good cry, talked to my parents who didn't even know I was pregnant and they were so supportive and kind. My mom had a miscarriage when she was younger and knew all the right things to say. My husband and I will start trying again as soon as my body gets back to normal. I don't have much hope for my Monday blood work. I've come to terms that this was a loss.

romeoandjuliet146 · October 2021

@starkette I'm sorry you have to go through this.

fluteling · October 2021

I had prenatal anxiety and depression with the last one and I don’t think this is going to be any better. The only reason I tested so early was because I had a panic attack. It sucks that that’s a pregnancy symptom for me.

wiseh · October 2021

Biggest hugs to you @starkette

**TW loss**

I stopped getting positive tests on Thursday but still hadn’t got my period so went to the hospital today to get bloods just in case & they came back “definitely not pregnant” (the words the ED doctor said to me

). This is my second time trying, getting pregnant & losing it. Feeling so deflated. I live in a remote mining town so access to health care providers is limited, so is the ability to even ask what to do next because it’s a small town & I’d rather everybody not know my business. Hoping a naturopath might be able to help prep my body & that we have better luck next time.

huckleberrypie · October 2021

@wiseh I'm so sorry. 🥺 Hugs to you.

scostel2 · October 2021

So sorry @wiseh.

mauvelousone · October 2021

@wiseh That's terrible, I'm sorry. I know how hard a small remote town can be, and I hope you can find the care you need.

I'm completely overwhelmed by even the concept of moving houses. We have a month before we close on a new one. DH has Things to Do, like pack up his hobbying workshop, but I don't even know how to start. Combine task paralysis with mood swings, caffeine withdrawal and an inability to chill, I'm just staring at the wall while my toddler yells.

I haven't even seen a doctor about this pregnancy yet. What if it's not even a thing and I'm indulging in feeling bad for no reason?

KFrob · October 2021

@wiseh I’m so sorry you’re going through this

huckleberrypie · October 2021

Has anyone regularly taken pregnancy tests after getting pregnant and thought the lines were getting lighter? I tend to overanalyze and be overly anxious so hopefully I'm just freaking out unnecessarily.

Tulips29 · October 2021

@caseys02 I have no words for what you and your family have gone through. Just sending you lots of strength and good thoughts for everything to go well.

@starkette @wiseh I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hugs to you both and please take care of yourselves.

starkette · October 2021

Update and TW for loss

Definitely miscarried. Got bloowork done today. Went from 91 on Thursday to 70 today (Monday). Have to keep getting poked in order to make sure it keeps going down. They'll do another ultrasound once I'm lower to make sure it's all clear, which it seemed to be before but....they're being thorough.

It's okay. I had a weekend full of blankets, coffee, books, and alone time. Cried. But I feel renewed and ready to move forward and try again. Look for me, because I'll be back. Thank you, everyone. I'll miss you all from this month birth club.

Sending my hugs to you too @wiseh

idreamofginny · October 2021

@starkette @wiseh so sorry to hear of your news. You will be missed around here. Thinking of you both and hoping you get the comfort you need.

pinkkillersheep · October 2021

So very sorry for the ladies experiencing loss. So many internet hugs getting sent your way.

I’m really struggling with all the feelings. I’m both grateful to know this level of absolute fear for what could happen is shared by other ladies here and sad that I don’t know what to do about it. I really want to experience the supposed joy of pregnancy. I’m not sure how to allow space for my feelings but not let them overwhelm me.

furmama2babymama · October 2021

@starkette and @wiseh I'm so sorry. Crying with you.

ajsanders-2 · October 2021

Sending all the hugs & love to those ladies experiencing loss

I just feel blah, like I don't really know what's going on with me. My brain just seems to switch off and not be fully present in things. Not sure if it is stress from work or what. But I don't like this blah feeling.

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