Tips please!! Going from 1 to 2

Re: Tips please!! Going from 1 to 2

• starkette member

  October 2021 edited October 2021

  I'm pregnant with my third and have the same worries, honestly. Going from one to two wasn't as hard as I thought. I worried that our perfect family dynamic would change forever and it did but our second baby fit into our lives and we made room for her in other ways. We made sure my oldest felt like part of a team instead of on the side lines. There's definitely gonna be some difficult moments though. I got good advice from a friend when I was pregnant with my second baby. It was to always make time for your first born and to never blame the new baby for things like your exhaustion or not being able to immediately attend to your first born. Instead of saying "I can't come right now because Baby needs me to change his/her diaper" say "I can't come right now but I'll be there as soon as I can." My second baby was in the NICU for the long time and I used this technique a lot. My oldest adores her sister and never resents her for all extra care she needs. I think it's because I make sure she gets my full attention when I can give it. When I can't, I give her clear expectations and don't blame her sister for my absence. Good luck! Adding another child to the family is such an amazing experience.

  Report4 Reply
• daisy0322 member

  October 2021

  Going from 1 to 2 for us wasn’t bad at all! I was SO NERVOUS at the time. My son had just turned two when my second son was born. But they are best friends. My advice is to just relax and enjoy the chaos a bit, Do what works for your family, and don’t plan any big trips for a couple months until you get into the swing of things. 

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• KFrob member

  October 2021

  As @daisy0322 said you have to enjoy the chaos and be okay with a giant mess.  It's easier said than done. Going from one to two was the most stressful for me.  Like @starkette I worried so much about the family dynamic changing.  I also worried about DD1 hating me forever for taking her rather calm life and throwing a screaming and needy creature in the mix.  To be honest at times she does vent to me about how frustrating her little sisters are and how she wishes it was just her.  As for tips, I would say if you can keep your first in daycare while you're on leave, make sure you get one on one time, and use this as a chance for your partner to bond more with your first.        

  Report2 Reply
• nofearinperfectlove member

  October 2021

  Thanks for all these tips. I’m pretty anxious about helping my 4yo transition to being a big brother.
  

  Report0 Reply