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March 2022 Moms
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Share Your Birth Stories
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TW: all birth is natural (med free, med heavy, c section, birth center, hospital, in the backseat of your car). But birth is also unpredictable and as such, reading stories may cause anxiety. Read with the reminder that everyone’s story will be different and healthy mama and baby is always the goal. If you’re sharing your story, think about including additional TW if you feel some aspects of your story might cause alarm.
Share your birth story: as detailed or succinct as you want
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
What surprised you?
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again?
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
What surprised you?
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again?
Re: Share Your Birth Stories
I was induced the day before my due date. Because I was AMA, they preferred I not go beyond my due date and by then I was ready to be done so decided induction was the way to go. Prior to induction I tried all the routine stuff, sex, eating dates, spicy food, looooooots of walking, curb walking, bouncing on a birthing ball, membrane sweep…nada.
When it was removed I was 4 cm dilated (was zero when I started) so it did work. I started having back labor in part because kiddo was sunny side up. I labored for 2-3 hours with no meds, just walking and breathing, bouncing on a ball. The back pain was really intense and I definitely had to move around the whole time.
After 2-3 hours I was still only at 5 cm. We started Pitocin. The contractions started coming more frequently and I opted for an epidural. I had to have two attempts because the first epidural attempted failed completely. Not long after the successful epidural my blood pressure started tanking badly and kept feeling on the verge of passing out. Similarly, baby’s heart rate was not rebounding appropriately after each contraction. Another few hours passed and I was still at 5 cm. Because of my blood pressure and baby’s heart rate, they gave me drugs to stop labor (I forget the name of the drug).
At this point we were nearing the 24 hour mark and I’d had no sleep and my blood pressure would not stabilize. I have a history of epilepsy and since lack of sleep is a trigger for my seizures I started having panic attacks about seizing in labor, hurting the baby. My husband was an anxious mess by this point, too. And baby’s heart still wasn’t perking up the way they liked. So we decided to go with a c-section.
From the moment I said c-section to being wheeled into the operating room was maybe 10 minutes. So fast! The c-section experience was wild. I could feel a lot of pressure on my hip bones which was just a crazy sensation.
Truman was just fine aside from some blood sugar issues that needed lots of heel pricks. That’s a common infant side effect of the drug they give to stop labor. His blood sugar stabilized with 72 hours. He also failed his hearing test at the hospital but passed later on, another common occurrence with c sections.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth? I had a rough plan but never wrote it down. My main desire was to be able to be mobile for as long as possible.
What surprised you? Induction was such a long, uncomfortable process. I was surprised how smooth my c section recovery was. I’d built it up in my head as this horrible recovery experience but I had great support from my husband and mom and my pain was never unbearable. I took OxyC for the first 3-4 days at home and then was fine with Tylenol and Ibuprofen cycling.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth? I’m not worried about another c section and would prefer that over another induction experience. So it’s good to have an idea of what to expect since I’ll likely have another c section. Also, since I e already had a Covid birth experience, I feel less anxious about it now. I was really sad at not having visitors but once we were actually in the birth process and recovering, it was actually really great to have no guests. It was nice to just experience those first hours/days of parenthood just as a couple.
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again? I listened to The Birth Hour a lot and it was great for getting a wide variety of stories. We did take an online class (Covid so nothing was in person) and I think that was really helpful for my husband.
Gonna go with the birth of my son because happy ending. He’s my rainbow baby.
Was 38+3 weeks pregnant and had just been to the OB for my weekly visit.
We get to Hospital around 7 pm. Going through triage was kind of shocking, tbh. The pandemic first hit while I was in third trimester, so it was very different from what I’d initially envisioned. DH had to wait in car. I was taken in alone and hooked up to the monitor and checked.
Baby was good, contractions we’re getting more painful and still regular, 3 cm dilated.
They told me to walk the halls as you’d expect, mask on. Back labor started kicking in and it was so nasty I had to dip back into the room just to take breaks from the mask to catch my breath.
After a bit they check again, 4 cm, keep walking.
More pain and walking, 5 cm.
Nurse who checks me notes they will probably send me home, but she’ll ask OB.
Blessedly, the OB chose to admit me based on my history.
By the time DH was let in and we got a room it was 2AM. My back labor was so painful I chose to get my epidural then. Anesthesia dude mentions in passing he is tired. Spoilers, maybe I shouldn’t have trusted him after that, but more on that later. Maybe TW?
As DH sleeps, I labor on and notice the numbness is only on one side. The OB confirms this as I flinch and say it stings during a cervical check, she’s shocked I can feel her.
They send anesthesia guy back in, I explain I’m only numb on one side, something isn’t right. He just smirks at me and gives me more meds as a fix, which seems better for like maybe 20 minutes.
I mention to other nurses, but no one listens.
I get it, they’re busy. So busy that even though they reach the decision to break my water at 5 AM it isn’t carried out until 9.
My DH stares into my soul as he eats breakfast and for a moment I hate him.
They finally put me on pitossin (sp?) that afternoon to speed things up. It works.
TW
It must’ve been around 3:30 in the afternoon when I come to a violently shocking realization. The baby is coming now… and I feel everything. The horrific pain I had expected to be dulled or numbed was not. I screamed and cried.
To DH credit, this was where he shined as support and he got help and everything.
Pushing went pretty quick. I remember apologizing to my labor nurse in between screams saying “I’m sorry, it just hurts so much!”
I cried because I was so happy to hold him.
TW side note:
The epidural had been misplaced pretty badly. No one cared postpartum about my horrid headaches and sent me home.
I got worse and got to the point I couldn’t even keep water down, my head was in so much pain I threw up everything instantly. I would nurse my son and then just sleep or lie down at least.
Literally 2 days after discharge had to go to ED for a blood patch and I was in so dehydrated by then they could barely get enough blood to do it.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
Loosely, but I wasn’t super locked in.
What surprised you?
The epidural fiasco. How there was such a mixed bag there. Some nurses cared, others acted like I was stupid. Etc.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again?
I watched a lot of Nurse Zabe and Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube and I’ll probably do it again.
Share your birth story: as detailed or succinct as you want
I went in for an ultrasound at 39 weeks because the OB thought the baby was measuring big. Turns out, she wasn't big, but she was breech, which we didn't know prior to that! Luckily, one of the OBs was in the office (it was after hours) and came in to check things out and discuss our options. I also had lower fluid than they like to see at 39 weeks, so it was suggested that we come in the next day to start the process. I was NOT ready for that news!
So 12 hours later we were getting ready for an ECV, which is where they manually try to turn the baby by pushing on the belly. I have heard of this both with and without drugs. The plan for me was if the ECV worked and the baby turned head down, that I would stay and be induced. If it didn't work, I would stay and have a c-section. Luckily for me, the OB attending that day believed in drugs for the procedure, and because of the chances of C-section, just did the ECV in the OR with a spinal. I didn't specifically watch/couldn't see as they did it, but MH tells me it was 2 solid women pushing hard on my belly. But i didn't feel a thing! It didn't end up working, so we went for the c-section.
As far as c-section experiences go, i think mine was pretty good. I had not been in labor, so i was relatively well rested and in good spirits. We were not having it because the baby or i were in danger, so i felt pretty relaxed through the whole thing. I was even joking with the anesthesiologist about playing "the circle of life" when they pulled the baby out and they did it!
Baby and I were both fine and overall it was a great experience. I did have a few complications in the weeks after my c-section, though. I had something called a seroma, which is pretty much a fluid filled blister under your skin. Mine was under my incision. A lot of times, they reabsorb into the body and are not an issue. Mine burst through my incision at 3am and i had to drive myself to the ED (when i still wasn't supposed to be driving). It had to be drained and packed for 2 weeks afterward, which was extremely painful. It's apparently pretty rare, but definitely the worst part of the whole experience for me.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
There were some things I would have liked, had i had a longer vaginal labor. We didn't really have the time for that so it was all out the window, but that's probably for the best. I generally like to have a plan and don't do well when that plan is interrupted, and In the case of childbirth i feel that i would have tried too hard to go with "the plan" even when logic/medicine/etc were telling me otherwise.
What surprised you?
a c-section is common surgery, but it is major surgery! I guess i knew, cognitively, but i was not prepared for the level of help i would need. I was lucky to have it, and my recovery was not terrible, but it was something that i did not realize beforehand.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth? Honestly, i wouldn't mind another c-section. I'm trying to decide between scheduled rcs and waiting to see what happens. I don't feel any "less of a mother" because i had a c-section, nor would i if i never have a vaginal delivery. What i do not want to do is have a difficult/long labor and then a c-section. That sounds so difficult on so many levels. Plus, i kind of like it that i don't pee when i sneeze/laugh.
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again? We took an infant care class and a breastfeeding class. As first time parents, i think they were helpful. I won't do them again this time. I also joined several local breastfeeding groups to help troubleshoot. Our hospital has drop in breastfeeding help sessions that i also used for several months. My BMB was a lifeline and i asked the STMs there SO MANY questions.
I had a sweep the morning of 40+1 and went into labour shortly after. We waited until around 11pm to go to the hospital and I was 6cm by the time I arrived. The nurse said I would likely have the baby before the end of her shift. My water didn't break on its own so they broke it at some point. I had horrible back labour and labored for 27 hours med free. They gave me an epidural after 27 hours because they said I needed some rest, but it didn't work (doesn't work on back labour) so they stopped the medication and had me start pushing. 3 hours of pushing they said baby's head was slightly cocked to the side so she wouldn't come out. They just went to get the vacuum when a specialist happened to be passing and checked me. She freaked out, made me stop pushing, took me directly to the OR and they had baby out in seconds. Turns out she was a persistent brow presentation (basically her head was bent all the way back and her shoulders were coming out first). There is a zero percent survival rate for both baby and mother if baby is delivered vaginally in this situation. We were just lucky the specialist happened to pass by before they could return with the vacuum or DD1 and I would have both died.
Because of the trauma it took 3 months for my milk to come in (a story for another day) but c-section recovery was super easy for me.
End TW
With DD2 I had a scheduled repeat c-section at 39+5 (I was 40) because I was not ok with repeating what happened the first time. The day of delivery EVERYONE went in to labour and they closed the maternity ward where I was delivering. My c-section was delayed about 7 hours. I could feel a lot more, and it took them longer to get her out than with the emergency c-section with DD1, but other than that it went smoothly. I found the first day after surgery to be more painful than with my first, but after that recovery was a snap and my milk came in right away.
With both I never took anything stronger than Tylenol and didn't take any at all after being discharged from the hospital.
We never did any classes with either, and we didn't have a birth plan. I'm having another repeat c-section this time around because I prefer being able to control as much as I can. Plus I found recovery super easy and like knowing what is coming and when.
The only thing that really surprised me was how much I bed after. For some reason I though that since I had a c-section I wouldn't bleed...hahahahaha! And also how long it took for my milk to come in with my first. But everything prepared me for #2!
I love that you made this topic, definitely lurking.
@morgantu
I understand the sentiment of BMB being a help. Already talking to you guys had helped me a bit this pregnancy because I don’t feel alone.
@Panaceia
Your first story gives me chills… thank God you both were okay. Three cheers for that specialist.
The night before my due date I sat on the couch and cried because I was so sick of being pregnant and had this weird expectation that I'd go early. I went to bed around 10:30 PM and at 11ish I felt the first contraction hit. It was pretty unmistakable. I told DH to go to bed and rest up because this might be it, and I went out to the couch to relax and see what happened. By midnight my contractions were coming fast and steady, and by 1:00 AM they were 3 minutes apart. I woke DH up and told him we needed to leave to go to the hospital.
The drive to the hospital (about 20 minutes) was hard. We got there at 2:00 AM and I insisted on walking to labor and delivery instead of taking a wheel chair. I broke down and cried in the lobby because I was in so much pain, but I kept walking because I'm stubborn I guess lol. The poor lobby staff probably thought I was nuts. When they checked me I was only dilated to a 4. They didn't send me home but let me labor in a private room before I was officially checked in. From here until I got my epidural is actually pretty traumatic for me. Nothing happened exactly, but I was in so much, such intense pain and could not manage it. My contractions came so fast and constant. I couldn't get a break or any relief. At around 6:00 AM the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural. As he was talking to me I passed out because of the pain. Once I came to, they rushed to get the epidural in and luckily it worked fast and pretty well. I think the epidural is the only thing that saved me and let me progress. I went from a 5 to a 10 in two hours. At 8:00 AM the nurse checked me and said it was time. They couldn't find a doctor though and after like a half hour of paging and trying to get someone, the nurse and OB student had to deliver DD. I pushed for about an hour. I felt very little comfort in my delivery team. The student who had to deliver her looked terrified the entire time. When my daughter came out I'm not totally sure what happened, but she didn't take that first deep breath and had a few other issues and had to go to the NICU immediately. I had a third degree tear, so while DH was at the NICU, the OB student was stitching me up. She was literally shaking stitching me up. FINALLY the doctor came in and took over. In the end DD was fine and healthy and I recovered okay, so that is what matters.
For this baby, I am going to go to a different hospital and my cardiology team already put in a request that I get an early epidural. If anyone has pain management advice and coping skills, I'm all ears. I did do a birthing class beforehand, but clearly none of that advice stuck haha.
@kgg2241 wow I felt your labor, very similar to mine. That must have been so hard with a less than desirable team though ❤️
At 36 weeks I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus and basically had early labor going forward until he came. I was 40w5d and something felt different, I didn’t sleep that entire night. Made H take me to lunch and walk target with me - that had become my overdue routine, it was so hot I couldn’t walk outside so I’d walk target like an insane woman 😂. Around 5pm things got more intense and I was pretty sure this was it, by 7pm I made H call the midwife who said stay put. Labored at home till 2am when I demanded to be driven to the hospital. Labor was very intense and slow moving I was only at 4cm. Labored in the shower, tub, and basically cursed out my mom and H for 9 hours while only progressing 1cm. At 11am I was in the birthing tub and started crying for the epidural - don’t really remember getting it just the beauty of after. I jumped from 5cm to 10cm within the hour of getting the epidural. I was comfy and he was still high so midwife told me to nap with a peanut between my legs for an hour and she’d wake me. At some point between 12-1 my water broke while I was sleeping and had merconium in it so the whole world came in to watch me push. 1pm they woke me up and started to get things ready. Started pushing at 1:10pm and he was out for 1:51pm. I should also add I was such a lazy pusher and made them feed me sorbet between pushes, I tell everyone demand sorbet 😂
ETA: second degree tear, not that I felt it
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth? No real plan, but I was trying to not get an epidural
What surprised you? How slowly but intensely I progressed
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth? If I’m not progressing well I definitely won’t wait for the epidural, that’s what made me jump so quick. I was told it would slow down labor which is why I avoided it, but every one is different and it only sped up mine
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again? I will be having sorbet again also I sucked on a lot of jolly ranchers while laboring 🤷🏻♀️
My birth story starts at 37+6 as I was sitting in my doctor’s office, stripped down, waiting to be checked by the midwife. My OB office was notorious for running extremely behind. I had already been waiting over and hour and was getting extremely uncomfortable- to the point that my super non-confrontational self was about ready to streak down the hall looking for the midwife. When she finally came in I was half-lifting myself off the table trying to find a comfortable position, she immediately recognized I may be contracting- i honestly had no clue. She began to check my cervix and I tensed up in pain. I could see her hands were covered in blood and this check felt way different than any previous ones. She finishes and announces that I dilated from 4cm to 5cm as she was checking me and she had also stripped my membranes while down there. She leaves to consult the OB and I try and clean up. She comes back with the OB’s recommendation that I go home and call back if contractions shorten to less than 3 mins apart. I agreed and went home.
Long story short, I was monitored all night with mild contractions every 3-5mins that I was able to rest during. Nightshift nurse and midwife reassured me that I would be having this baby before I left. Which was the plan, until labor stalled at 6cm and Day shift OB refused to augment (break water/start pitocin) as this was my first pregnancy. I was sent home to rest (aka still worked all week) walking around at 6cm dilated. No one I tell ever believes this part of the story. Even the OB i saw later that week could not believe I hadn’t already delivered.
Exactly a week after the first time, another Friday evening, at 38+6 I started having a lot of pelvic pressure and was generally very achy and uncomfortable. I made dinner while sitting at the table as standing was out of the question. Spent the rest of the evening lying on the couch on my side with one leg bent up trying to open up my pelvis. Sent DH to bed around 11pm and fell asleep on the couch. Woke up at 2am with an intense contraction. Immediately started doing some inversion with my head and chest lying on the couch, on my knees, with my butt up in the air. Contractions immediately intensified. I was determined to hold out as long as possible before going in- didnt want to get sent home without a baby again. But this time it was clear, these contractions were much different than last time. I called DH, who was sleeping upstairs, around 3:30am. In a groggy panic he confusedly thought I was already at the hospital 😂 once he came to, he ran downstairs and we headed to the hospital.
My nurse checks me as I’m still getting undressed and tells me im at 9.5cm, 100% effaced, with bulging waters. Asks if I want her to break my water but warns that everything will happen very quickly if she does. The plan was always to get an epidural, and at this point contractions were happening back to back with just seconds to breathe in between and I asked for it before I delivered.
Thankfully the anesthesiologist was immediately available and was absolutely incredible at her job. I only had to sit still through 1 contraction while she worked and the epidural immediately took. Labor slowed and I was able to close my eyes for a couple hours. I sat at 10cm but with baby pretty high for that time. I didnt want to start pushing too early. I laid on my side with a peanut pillow between my legs to help baby move down. My epidural worked almost *too* well. I could feel absolutely nothing. No pressure- nada.
I did have 3 second degree tears, and a few more internally, as well as a split labia (sorry for the TMI). I attribute it all to being so numb while pushing. I didn’t know I could ask for my epidural to be backed off some to assist pushing.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth? Only to get an epidural and stay vertical as long as possible to prevent needing a c-section. I have never had surgery and wasn’t interested in the recovery of major surgery knowing DH would be going back to work within days of delivery.
What surprised you?
How well the epidural worked for me. I was expecting less pain, but not to be completely numb. It was actually so nice to be able to rest for a few hours before pushing.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
My first experience (and more so lengthy recovery) has led me to want to pursue an unmedicated hospital birth this time. It’s given me the courage and confidence to know I can do it. And if this is my last time delivering I want to have that experience.
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again? We took one in-person class offered by my OB office. This time I am listening to the Birth Hour Podcast and reading Hypnobirthing and all the free info from Spinning Babies.
Share your birth story: I delivered at 39+5 late Saturday evening. The last two weeks of my pregnancy were awful. I had so much pain walking, so I was anxious to deliver. The night before, we got some spicy Thai food for dinner, and while watching the Opening Ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics, I did nipple stimulation hoping that would help get things going. I went to bed at 11pm, and woke up around 1am feeling very crampy. Like bad period cramp pains. I went back to bed, and couldn't fall asleep. I didn't think these were really contractions, but then the pain got worse as the night went on. We decided to head to the hospital around 3am. They checked me, and I was only 2cm. Since it was in the middle of the night, I didn't want to go back home. The nurses said I could keep walking around the hallways until a room is ready, and they'll give me some pain meds to help. I finally got the epidural around 10am. Thought this was speed up the process, so we called our parents that we were at the hospital. They arrived around 1pm, and I was still around 5cm. Lots and lots of waiting, and the doc had to manually break my water around 5pm. It was finally go time to start pushing around 8:45pm! I pushed, but nothing was really happening. DS head was turning to the side as he tried to go down the canal, so he was in distress. I was in distress after pushing for an our. We made the call to do a c-section at 10pm, and DS arrived at 11:01pm! What a LONG day! Stayed at the hospital for four nights, and came home on Valentine's Day!
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth? I was planning and preparing for a vaginal birth with an epidural.
What surprised you? I knew that first timers could have long labor, and there's definitely truth to that! I didn't realize how EXHAUSTED I'd be. I only had a few hours of sleep, and didn't really nap when I should have. I didn't eat anything all day, and I was starving after delivery. I got graham crackers afterwards. I was disappointed that my first meal wasn't a large cheeseburger and fries! As soon as we were able to get back to our room and get some restful sleep, it was around 3am. Also, the recovery from the c-section. I wasn't prepared to be in a lot of pain, and thankfully, we didn't have any stairs to worry about since we were living in an apartment at that time.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth? Knowing what a c-section recovery is like, I am leaning towards doing another RCS. We do have lots of stairs in this house, but we will figure it out somehow! It'll be nice to plan the date, so that we can arrange childcare.
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again? We went to a labor and delivery class, as well as a breastfeeding class. I thought they were very helpful. We won't be doing that again, but I think this time around, I want to bring a comfortable robe for myself as well as some nicer going home outfits. DS came home in a onesie that was a size too big!
Share your birth story: as detailed or succinct as you want
DD- I started having dilating at about 32 weeks with DD. By 36 I was walking around at 5cm. At 36+5 I started having contractions and we decided to go into the hospital. They told me that because I was "preterm" I should go home, take a sleeping pill, and see if labor stopped. I went home, slept, and stopped feeling the contractions. On the following Thursday I went to my regularly scheduled appointment and while I was waiting in the car, I leaned down and my water popped. I went in for my appointment, they confirmed I hadn't just peed myself and sent me over to the hospital.
I was not feeling any contractions so the nurses started pitocin right away. I felt absolutely nothing, so they increased it over the next few hours, checked the placement, checked the lines, etc. I felt no contractions for nearly 12 hours overnight. They finally decided to insert a pressure monitor to see if I was contracting and, as it turns out, they measured off the charts. I finally reached 7cm and started feeling all of the contractions. Eventually, my cervix started to swell shut and I'd go back down to 6cm with each contraction. The Dr gave me one more hour to make progress. I did not make progress over the next hour and I was told it was time for a c-section, I was quickly approaching the 24 hour mark since my water had broken.
My Dr. played the Jackson 5 during my c-section, he made my incision slightly off center so he didn't cut through the tattoo on my hip and told me funny stories about other tattoos he'd seen. He was awesome. My DD was born around lunch time, 7lbs11oz (preterm, yea right).
DS- My blood pressure had been an issue at the end of my 2nd pregnancy. I went in for a regular appointment and my bp was still too high so the Dr decided I should go ahead for an attempted induction and VBAC. I went over to the hospital, got checked in and the Dr. stripped my membranes. Having my membranes stripped was quite possibly the most painful thing I've ever experienced and I would've gone through every bit of the 6 hours of pitocin contractions I had with DD to avoid the 3 minutes she was sweeping her finger around my uterus. Not much happened so the Dr broke my water.
I started feeling contractions in my back and labored for about 2 hours. The Dr came in to check my progress and said "Oh, hmm, that's interesting". DS had his hand over his head and rather than feeling his head/hair, she felt his fingers and it was a surprise to her. After she realized he was hand presentation, she got the OR prepped and I went in for a c-section with him too. He was HUGE and the nurse had to squeeze me from the ribs down like a tube of toothpaste. They had to get the vacuum to help pull him out. As she pulled him out, the Dr said "you wouldn't have wanted to push this one out anyway". DS was born at about 8:30pm, 9lbs9oz.
I got a nerve block for both c-sections because I opted out of the epidural both times. It gives you a really warm feeling in your lower half, almost like you might have peed all over the place. I have gotten the shakes after the c-section both times as I come down off the nerve block. They gave me some medication to help but it didn't really work for me. Eventually the shakes stopped and I was good to go.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
Yes, I had a plan and we stuck to them as well as we could. Of course things change quickly in the delivery room and you have to do what's best for mom and baby regardless of the plan.
What surprised you?
I couldn't believe that I felt nothing for so long with my first. It appears to be genetic, as my mother had a similar story with me.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
I plan to attempt VBAC again this time and the Drs are on board. I will pay better attention to my body and less to the Dr... sounds weird but I think I could have avoided the c-section with DD if I'd decline pitocin so early and tried to get labor started other ways first.
What supports (products, classes, podcasts, books) did you use to prepare? Will you use them again?
I've used a doula every time so far and we've already got one ready to go this time too. They're a wealth of knowledge and can help you (and your partner) get through a tough time. MH is a newbie to babies and delivery so I'm glad we'll have someone with experience there to help and guide both of us.
Sorry, this is way too detailed and long haha.
At 39+4, my midwife checked me and I wasn’t dilated or effaced at all. So I was convinced labor wasn’t coming anytime soon. On the morning of my due date, my husband and I had sex, hoping that might get things moving. Then he went to work and I decided it was time to make him his birthday dinner, three months late. So I spent all day cooking an over-the-top elaborate meal. There was karaage, a Korean meatball dish, and this incredible ginger cake, it was delicious.
Did you have a birth plan prior to giving birth?
I hoped to avoid an epidural. To be clear, my reasons for that were completely personal/psychological, and not at all medical. I think it's wonderful that epidurals exist and I'm so glad that most women are able to choose them and prefer them. For me personally, I was frightened about the lack of control that can come with an epidural (the catheter, the not being able to move around as much, not being able to feel all of what is happening). I had heard a few stories of obstetric violence that I felt had been compounded by epidurals (OBs not getting consent before they did things, figuring it didn't matter because the woman couldn't feel it anyway). Those stories were really frightening to me, and skipping the epidural felt like one way I could help to ensure I was consulted. I also have a lot of family who had previously had positive experiences with unmedicated births, so it was a choice that felt right for me personally because it was how my own mother and aunts had had their births.
What surprised you?
Everything that came after birth, lol. I prepared *a lot* for birth, I had heard so many birth stories, read so many books, and in the end my birth ended up being relatively standard. I was lucky that nothing medically frightening happened. But after my son was born, nothing unfolded the way I thought it would. I wasn't prepared for bonding to take time, I thought it would be instantaneous and beautiful. I wasn't prepared for what absolute torture the sleep deprivation could be. And my son and I had a very, very difficult breastfeeding journey. In retrospect, I should have just given up and switched to formula for my own mental health.
What lesson(s) from previous experience will you take with you for your next birth?
The thing that prepared me most for birth was listening to a wide variety of birth stories. I recommend the two podcasts The Birth Hour and also All About Pregnancy and Birth.
The other tip someone gave me that I was super grateful for: clear the car seats out of the back seat of your car before driving to the hospital. Stick the infant car seat in your trunk instead. Then your partner can reinstall the car seat before you head home with baby, but this way on the way to the hospital you have the back seat to stretch out in while you're going through contractions. That made a big difference for me on the drive to the hospital.