PGAL Check In 9/23

gembud · September 2021

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc.

Weeks/EDD?

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions?

faithmovesmountains · September 2021

Weeks/EDD? 16 weeks +1 today, due March 9

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)?
My first pregnancy I had PPROM at 19 weeks. I was encouraged to deliver then, but told baby stood no chance on the outside. But I had felt them move, heard their heartbeat, and I was so in love with them already that I wanted to take any chance to save them. So I went on expectant management. I suffered horrible contractions each night for weeks, passed a lot of blood clots, etc. I tried to hang on and was in and out of the hospital. Sadly, at 22 weeks and 5 days I went into full labor and my baby was stillborn February 26, 2019.
I went on to have a son full term May 14, 2020 and now I’m pregnant again.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Physically, I’m okay. Emotionally, I’m anxious and feel like I’m holding my breath a lot. A lot of doctors tried to help during my loss, but there was one OB that treated me poorly and without compassion. I literally came in with blood streaming down my legs at one point in my loss experience and she yelled at me because I wasn’t in active labor that I had no business wasting their time, that my baby wasn’t even viable.

Because of that second trimester always has me in knots. With my son and then now. I need to get to viability for my baby to matter. So I can relax a little knowing someone will care… MFM doctors have assured me they do care, but I just can’t shake the anxiety.

Any appointment updates?

My 16 week early anatomy scan yesterday at MFM looked good and baby was measuring a bit bigger than expected, so I know she’s growing well.

Any big milestones?
Confirmed baby’s gender, which is kind of special to me. Our loss was a girl and since then my husband and I have desperately longed for a daughter… not as a replacement, but so we can do for her all the things we long to do for a girl. This girl is also due within weeks of the anniversary of our loss, so I hope the joy around that time will make the memory of loss more bearable.

Rants/Raves/Questions?
I think I ranted the whole time, forgive me. I don’t have a lot of people to talk to who truly get it.

morgantu · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains What a terrible experience. I'm so sorry and your anxiety and nerves are absolutely justified and valid.

Weeks/EDD? 14+4?5? idk, 1 day ahead of @Panaceia

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 3 first tri losses, 2017x1 2020x2

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically doing ok, still not in the pregnancy glory days but definitely better than before. Emotionally, I go back and forth. Some days I'm on board with "there is no reason to think anything is wrong" and then other days there's no reason to think it's right, either. I do think i'm feeling movement, but 2 weeks ago i had an anterior placenta so idk how fast they can move. I just don't trust myself to be confident.

Any appointment updates? nothing till oct 4 for an OB check. No US until 20 weeks.

Any big milestones? Past all losses, for me the next big milestone will be telling my team at work (about 35 reports). I'll do that after my next appt and hearing the heartbeat again. I think it's getting harder to hide, but i'm tall and was already had some extra belly, so it's mostly noticeable to me/DH.

Rants/Raves/Questions? one rave for DD who is really leaning into big sisterhood. This morning when i was getting dressed she came over and kissed my belly and said hi baby!. It was adorable and i immediately melted. she also tells me every night when she goes to bed not to take the baby out of my belly... That's the plan, kiddo!

btate01 · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains wow, I’m so sorry for your loss and the trauma you experienced with that. It must be so hard to keep dealing with medical professionals after that kind of mistreatment. So glad your early anatomy scan went well though and that you have that to ease your nerves until you make it through this rough time!

Panaceia · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains I am so sorry for your loss💔 The treatment you received is so unacceptable and so angering! I cannot believe you were treated like that!

Some doctors are just so clueless. When I was in the hospital hemhorraging with my 14 week loss, one of the ER doctors came over and asked if I knew what was going on. I of course said no, at this point I had almost completely bled out, they couldn't figure out how to stop the bleeding, and I thought I was going to die so I was hoping he was going to tell me why I was bleeding or that they had figured out how to stop it. He looked at me very seriously and said "you're having a miscarriage" 🤦‍♀️ No s*$t! I actually laughed. What did he think I thought was happening????

Weeks/EDD? 14+3 / March 20

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 2 MMCs (14 weeks and 10 weeks), 1 CP, 1 MC (7 weeks)

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Physically still soooo sick. I threw up like 10 times yesterday. I need the nausea to calm down, and the vomiting. I'm over eating to compensate and I'm too sick to be able to get any sort of exercise (I throw up almost every time I stand up) so I need some sort of relief soon to walk back some of those weight gain before baby hopefully gets here. Emotionally still super stressed. Maybe even more stressed than before. I don't know why I'm so much more worried with this one than I was with DD2. I just keep waiting for bad news. I have a heartbeat check tomorrow and I'm already freaking out that there won't be a heartbeat and that just as I'm starting to feel more confident that it's all going to be taken away...

Any appointment updates? Tomorrow for heartbeat check, 18th for OB.

Any big milestones? I got past the 21st. I of course had what I thought was a spot if blood test morning (in hindsight likely just something else) so spent the rest of the day convinced I was going to start bleeding and examining toilet paper all day. I need movement to start soon.

Rants/Raves/Questions? I *think* I *might* be feeling little bits of movement every now and then, but because my brain isn't convinced that this is real I'm not convinced it's movement. I really really really need to start feeling this little guy soon 9r my head is going to explode. With DD2, even with am anterior placenta, I could feel the flutters on the sides at 13 weeks. I'm hoping at least by 16 that I get something semi consistent. This is my first time with a posterior placenta so I was hoping I would have felt something definitive by now...

faithmovesmountains · September 2021

@morgantu
Thank you and sorry for your losses. Glad to hear your daughter is getting so into this pregnancy though.

My son is 16 months, so he doesn’t quite understand yet lol

@btate01
I’ve gotten to a point where it all comes down to bedside manner. If a doctor is willing to listen to my concerns and treat me like a person, I will trust them. If they act arrogant and talk down to me like I don’t know what I’m talking about, then I don’t.
I never try to be bossy, I’m just talking a doctor that you tell ‘I don’t feel right/ something is wrong’ and they brush you off completely.

@Panaceia
Sorry you’re so sick and for your own bad experiences

Have you asked your doctor for something for the nausea? Not being able to keep anything much down must be terrible.
As for movement, in the same boat where I think I might be feeling the baby more, but unsure because it’s not super consistent yet.

lurvleybunchococonuts · September 2021

13+3

Lost twin B at 35+1

I'm feeling meh. Physically pretty good. Nowhere near as nauseous as I was with the girls. And I'm starting to feel less tired. Emotionally I dunno. Doomed? Constantly waiting for the other show to drop? I'm excited, but I don't think I truly will ever feel like I can breathe until babe is here. It's already been a long 1st trimester. The rest of pregnancy is gonna feel like forever.

Next appt I know about is end of October at 18 weeks with MFM. Ultrasound and a consult. I think I see my OB before that though

Milestones uhmmm... Got our NIPT results back! Looks Ike this baby is a boy! Rest of the results were good also thankfully. And MHs blood results came back he is positive for both Kell and little c. We're still waiting in the genotyping though.

I still have made 0 progress in packing or finding somewhere to move to. Looks like I'll be commuting for a bit. Which will definitely kick my ass into gear. Next week is my last week at my current job. I'm excited at the opportunity but also sad to be leaving. Also... My children are gross. Potty training an almost 3 year old with a crawling 10 month old is NOT ideal. Esp when the 10 month old is literally OBSESSED with everything the toddler does.

Panaceia · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains Unfortunately the medication for nausea isn't safe while breastfeeding, and I'm still nursing my 2 year old:/ I've had HG all the way through each pregnancy so being sick the entire 9 months isn't new to me...it just feels worse this time...likely because my 2 year old has decided to give up on sleep so I think the fatigue of being up with her all night and then having to get up early to get my 7 year old set up for remote school every day is just making it worse:/

gembud · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains I’m so sorry for your loss and the treatment you received during. Unbelievable that a health professional would ever think that was ok

@morgantu aww that’s so sweet! I’m jealous with DS it’s a lot of “no baby”

@Panaceia ugh hate that you’re still so sick 😔 and yay for movements, hopefully they start becoming more pronounced soon!!

@lurvleybunchococonuts ah congrats, yay for a boy!

Weeks/EDD? 17w0d 3/3

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? MC in April

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Feeling uncomfortable and moody the past few days, doesn’t help that H is on constant OT lately so I feel like a single parent

Any appointment updates? Anatomy scan 10/14

Any big milestones? Idk if it’s a milestone and I'm not happy about it, but I officially can’t sleep on my stomach.

Rants/Raves/Questions? Natm

kgg2241 · September 2021

@gembud I'm at the no stomach sleeping point too 😭. I'm sorry your husband has been working so much. Hopefully you can get a break soon!

@lurvleybunchococonuts this pregnancy does feel extra slow. I thought everyone said pregnancies after the first fly by...lies. Congratulations on a healthy boy!

@Panaceia gl at your appointment tomorrow! And yay for movement!

@morgantu omg DD! That is so sweet and funny 😂.

@faithmovesmountains I am so so sorry for your loss. That sounds so traumatic. The care you received is just so unacceptable. I'm happy to hear your early scan went well!

AFM, I'm going to keep this short since I don't need much support right now. I'm feeling really good today and hopeful we will make it to the end. Trying to keep up though good thoughts ❤️.

night_nurse · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains so sorry about the loss of your little girl, and so happy you are here!

@morgantu your daughter! 🥰 she sounds absolutely precious.

@Panaceia im still 100% talking myself out of believing the flutters and tiny kicks are baby. I hope eventually I’ll be able to be sure. So sorry your milestone could not have passed without incident. Glad you are past it and still here ❤️ Your vulnerability in sharing your difficulty connecting is appreciated and helpful. Society tells us pregnancy is happy, glowing, and expectant anticipation and you should be grateful for the opportunity; when the reality of human emotion is far more complicated than that.

@lurvleybunchococonuts you have so much on your plate. Has MFM advised you on potential complications of the 2 positive antibodies? I’m not very familiar with it.

@gembud not looking forward to hitting that milestone 😭

@kgg2241 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

night_nurse · September 2021

16 weeks today! EDD March 10th

Had my 16week midwife appt today. Got a refill of zofran 🙌🏼 Everything checked out well. Can’t believe im at the stage of scheduling the anatomy scan.

Also went to an elective ultrasound boutique today and found out we're having a GIRL! I had a feeling based on my symptoms compared to last pregnancy but still so so shocked. DH’s family has 1 girl in three generations and ELEVEN boys. We’re overjoyed. I was happy to think I would be an all boy mom but equally ecstatic with this curveball.

So, overall had a great day after a very very sick night up from 11pm to 4am and happy for a growing baby and having the experience of finding out the sex with DH and our son present.

Panaceia · September 2021

@night_nurse Congratulations on baby girl 🥳💖 Girls are so wonderful!!!! I'm so glad your family was able to be with you when you found out ❤❤❤

lurvleybunchococonuts · September 2021

@night_nurse awww yay for bb girl!!! I adore my girls. They're crazy but so fun

So the issue with the antibodies is that since MH is positive for the corresponding antigen depending on his genotype baby will either definitely have the antigen or a 50/50 chance of having them. If babe has the antigen (fairly likely) than the risk is my antibodies crossing the placenta to attack his RBCs and causing anemia if not death. Thankfully if babe does become anemic they can do intrauterine blood transfusions however needs to be a minimum of 18 weeks to do that and unfortunately it isn't a one and done treatment, they have to constantly monitor and potentially perform multiple transfusions.

night_nurse · September 2021

So genotyping will tell you whether baby definitely has the antigen or has a 50/50 chance of having the antigen? And you’re positive for Kell and Litte C antibodies. I understand now. Thanks for explaining. That is a lot to shoulder. Hoping for the best possible outcome for you and baby. When you move will you have to change doctors?

Panaceia · September 2021

Strong heartbeat at my appointment this afternoon. I really needed that this week ❤❤❤

gembud · September 2021

@Panaceia yay yay yay!!! Grow baby boy grow!

faithmovesmountains · September 2021

@Panaceia
So happy for you!

I just got my first COVID-19 vaccine shot and I’m unreasonably nervous. I know it’s supposed to be safe, I just worry.

Literally my last pregnancy I hid inside most of second trimester to ‘plastic bubble’ myself. I didn’t even want to walk around a store or go out to eat. Then as soon as I was lightening up in third trimester the pandemic began and I had to be home anyway….lol

And now I just get nervous, even though I know I’m making the best decision I can to protect me and this baby. I literally had to fight off the urge to cry in the middle of Walgreens. I’m kind of pathetic… lol

Panaceia · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains I got my second shot the day before ovulation of the cycle I got pregnant with this little guy and so far he's doing great. I'm sure everything is perfect in there!

kgg2241 · September 2021

@faithmovesmountains I definitely get the feelings around it and it completely fine to feel nervous. Hugs to you. I do think you made the right choice, and plus, your little baby will hopefully get some of those antibodies!

lurvleybunchococonuts · September 2021

@night_nurse exactly! You got it. We'll likely keep doctors and just have a bit longer drive to appts once we move. I kinda of have a guy feeling this babe will be a planned induction or C-section. Right now they're about 45 mins away, they'll be closer to 75 mins once we move but they're the best hospital in the area and has a great NICU which most the local hospitals don't have.

lurvleybunchococonuts · September 2021

@Panaceia hooray for a strong HB! ❤️❤️❤️

night_nurse · September 2021

Yaaaay @Panaceia ❤️❤️❤️

@faithmovesmountains I got my 3rd booster shot 3 weeks ago and got my antibodies tested this week- they are through the roof. Your baby will have some protection from birth, which is incredible. I actually read an anecdotal study, and coincidentally experienced it myself, but it talked about how researchers have found that pregnant women have be shown to have less undesirable side effects (headache, fever, bodyaches, etc.) from the vaccine. Hope you have a pleasant experience and your anxieties are put at ease ❤️

@l@lurvleybunchococonuts we’re also driving a little further to deliver at a hospital with a better nicu. For continuity and ease I’m sure it will be nice for you to keep all the same providers. Keep us updated as you find out more. Do you know when your husband’s genotyping will be back?

lurvleybunchococonuts · September 2021

@night_nurse will do! Not sure when we'll hear back. I hope early next week. The MFM surgeon who delivered my twins actually has the file flagged and is supposed to call me directly to let us know what the results are and to discuss next steps. I liked her a lot, when she followed up day after my CS she introduced herself as "the one who did the remodeling" which MH discribes as similar to when he and his buddy work on car engines and are fighting with a stubborn bolt just with a lot less cursing 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

faithmovesmountains · September 2021

Thank you all.
It helps. Arm is sore today as expected, but no complaints.

@night_nurse

It will be so nice if that’s true in regards to side effects. Hoping to feel baby more consistently by my second shot next month so I just have the constant reassurance she is doing well.

priceypair15 · September 2021

gembud said:

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc.

Weeks/EDD? 14+3, 3/26

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? I lost my daughter Chloe 8/7/20 at 22 weeks due to contracting cytomegalovirus which caused a brain hemorrhage

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’m a wreck in-between ultrasounds and inbetween reassuring visits

Any appointment updates? Just met my MFM love her but ready for my next appointment over a month away

Any big milestones?
Second trimester

Rants/Raves/Questions?

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