Not sure if this counts as a FFFC, but I sleep trained my first but am undecided about whether I will sleep train this baby or not. Seems like a silly thing to have to "confess," but the sleep training and anti-sleep training camps both get so all-or-nothing intense sometimes, it feels like confession to say that I can see the argument on both sides and that I don't really see myself as part of either team.
To be clear, I think sleep training can be wonderful for some children and some families, and I have zero regrets about doing it with my son. But I hate it when people frame it as a one-size-fits-all thing. I don't think it's right for all children, and I don't think it's right for all families.
@jessier19 I’ve never understood the high emotions folks have around sleep training. Our first was/is a really great sleeper. But I know several friends who’ve done sleep consultants and all sorts of things to help their little one develop healthy sleep habits. Some kids just struggle more and every kid is going to need a different approach.
@jessier19 I did not sleep train DS and 100% will be sleeping training this babe. But, I’m also thinking it’s physically impossible for the world to send me a worse sleeper than I already have
@jessier19 I am a believer in sleep training, but it worked for my DD. She's a great sleeper and has been for a long time. I'm worried that it wasn't as much sleep training and more her personality and that we are going to be in for it with this next one... I don't think i have enough good karma to get me 2 great sleepers in a row!
DD has always been a great sleeper but when she was around 6 months old we had to do a few nights of CIO. I feel like that is a big FFFC. I don't regret it at all though. Like @morgantu, I am worried our next one is going to be a crappy sleeper though. I'm not sure what we will do then 😬.
I am 100% do what works for you. Baby sleep is definitely not once size fits all.
@kgg2241 we did CIO as our method. Earlier than 6 months. For several nights and then some "refreshers" occasionally. i always HATED it in the moment, but now she's such a good sleeper and loves to go to bed. We will try it again.
@jessier19 My son didn't sleep. At all (on his own). He was sick when he was little, and was held 23+ hours a day for the first 7 weeks. After the initial 96+ hours awake following L&D, I averaged 2 hours of sleep out of 24, and never more than 30 min at a time. That went on for 3 months. By 4 months, I would get about 3 hours of sleep a day (still ij broken chunks). My anxiety was through the roof, and the psychologist told me I was "going through literal torture".
At 5 months, we did a gentle sleep training (no crying). And that earned me usually 2-6, 15 min sleeps a night on the floor beside his crib (so at least I was getting some sleep at night, instead of only during the day when someone could take him for me).
By 8 months, I would get to sleep in my bed for 30-45 min at a time, and was getting about 3 hours at night, (plus usually 1-2 hours of naps during the day if someone could take him).
So at 11.5 months, we had to sleep train. It was excruciating. And I hated myself. He did extremely well. Way better than any of us expected to. He's had sleep regressions, but other than that, he's now an amazing sleeper. It's hard to believe where he came from and where he is now. It took me a LONG time to relearn how to sleep. literally months. I could not sleep more than 90 min at a time.
It's actually the thing that is causing me the most anxiety about having another baby. I don't think I can survive that extreme sleep deprivation again.
@goldfishcraker if it makes you feel any better DD1 did not sleep at all unless she was on me. I had to wear her in the Ergo literally the entire day and I couldn't sit down or she would scream and get upset...so I never sat down. She would only sleep on me in the carrier and at night she would wake up as soon as I put her down. I was only getting 15 minutes of sleep at a time and at 6 months I ended up just putting her on a floor mattress with me because I couldn't keep getting out of bed so many times a night. She didn't sleep through the night until she was almost 4 years old. I was expecting DD2 to be the same (we did nothing differently in terms of our approach) but she slept through the night from the first day we brought her home. I am positive we won't get that lucky again, but know that even if your first was a terrible sleeper there is definitely hope that the second will be better!
@Panaceia urg that's brutal!! I'm so glad DD2 was a good sleeper for you! I pray that happens for me with this one! I don't think I can survive a repeat 😅
FFC: 3 weeks ago, I decided that I would bite the bullet and hire a house cleaning service. (Being on bed rest, with a toddler, and DH working more than full time has made it hard to keep up, and my anxiety and mental health have not been doing well with the mess).
Anyway, that's part 1 of the FFC.
She comes highly recommend from our cousin (whose son was born exactly 1 year after my son!).
Part 2 is that she was supposed to start last Saturday morning, and we stayed up late cleaning the house the night before. And that morning she cancelled because her daughter had a wisdom tooth issue. No biggie. Rescheduled for today.
Last night, I was pre-cleaning again, and she texts to cancel because suddenly her son decided he was moving across the country today.
She can't fit us in for another week. It's not the end of the world. But I'm kinda... Disappointed, and wondering if I give it another go, or just find a different company...
@goldfishcraker for the first one, no flames at all for getting help. I am not on bedrest but have had a cleaning service since I went back to work after DD. I don't want to spend the little time I have with her cleaning toilets. As far as what to do now, maybe line up a different company and if she cancels again you'll have something ready for the same week or not long after? I totally get that life happens, but your life is happening too, and you need some support.
Re: FFFC 9/17
To be clear, I think sleep training can be wonderful for some children and some families, and I have zero regrets about doing it with my son. But I hate it when people frame it as a one-size-fits-all thing. I don't think it's right for all children, and I don't think it's right for all families.
I am 100% do what works for you. Baby sleep is definitely not once size fits all.
My son didn't sleep. At all (on his own).
He was sick when he was little, and was held 23+ hours a day for the first 7 weeks.
After the initial 96+ hours awake following L&D, I averaged 2 hours of sleep out of 24, and never more than 30 min at a time.
That went on for 3 months. By 4 months, I would get about 3 hours of sleep a day (still ij broken chunks).
My anxiety was through the roof, and the psychologist told me I was "going through literal torture".
At 5 months, we did a gentle sleep training (no crying). And that earned me usually 2-6, 15 min sleeps a night on the floor beside his crib (so at least I was getting some sleep at night, instead of only during the day when someone could take him for me).
By 8 months, I would get to sleep in my bed for 30-45 min at a time, and was getting about 3 hours at night, (plus usually 1-2 hours of naps during the day if someone could take him).
So at 11.5 months, we had to sleep train.
It was excruciating. And I hated myself. He did extremely well. Way better than any of us expected to.
He's had sleep regressions, but other than that, he's now an amazing sleeper. It's hard to believe where he came from and where he is now.
It took me a LONG time to relearn how to sleep. literally months. I could not sleep more than 90 min at a time.
It's actually the thing that is causing me the most anxiety about having another baby. I don't think I can survive that extreme sleep deprivation again.
I pray that happens for me with this one! I don't think I can survive a repeat 😅
3 weeks ago, I decided that I would bite the bullet and hire a house cleaning service. (Being on bed rest, with a toddler, and DH working more than full time has made it hard to keep up, and my anxiety and mental health have not been doing well with the mess).
Anyway, that's part 1 of the FFC.
She comes highly recommend from our cousin (whose son was born exactly 1 year after my son!).
Part 2 is that she was supposed to start last Saturday morning, and we stayed up late cleaning the house the night before. And that morning she cancelled because her daughter had a wisdom tooth issue. No biggie. Rescheduled for today.
Last night, I was pre-cleaning again, and she texts to cancel because suddenly her son decided he was moving across the country today.
She can't fit us in for another week.
It's not the end of the world. But I'm kinda... Disappointed, and wondering if I give it another go, or just find a different company...
As far as what to do now, maybe line up a different company and if she cancels again you'll have something ready for the same week or not long after? I totally get that life happens, but your life is happening too, and you need some support.