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PGAL Check-In 9/16

PanaceiaPanaceia member
in March 2022 Moms
This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc. 

Weeks/EDD?

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 

Any appointment updates? 

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions? 
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Re: PGAL Check-In 9/16

  • kgg2241kgg2241 member
    Weeks/EDD? 16 weeks today! 3/3
    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? One loss at 11 weeks 
    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Well I was feeling pretty good until yesterday. Now I'm getting super anxious that I'm naïve and am going to be blindsided at the anatomy scan when something is wrong. I am really wishing we would have done the NIPT now. 
    Any appointment updates? OB appointment last Friday went well. Next appointment isn't until October 8th, then anatomy scan on October 11th. 
    Any big milestones? Nope
    Rants/Raves/Questions? How long do you wait to see your provider? I guess this is a general question outside of PGAL, but she is extremely hard to get into and then every single appointment I wait at least an hour to be seen. I'm starting to think I want to switch but I'm also wondering if this is normal. 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    Weeks/EDD? 13+3 / March 21 - RCS around the 14th if we get that far

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 4 losses...2 between each of my *so far* successful pregnancies - 2 MMCs, 1 CP, 1 MC

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 
    Physically still like dirt. I am just sooooo sick and the exhaustion has ramped up too which is making the nausea and vomiting even worse. I learned the other night that if you're not careful toilet water WILL splash back up into your mouth while you are vomiting 🤢 Emotionally I'm starting to feel calmer. I'm still feeling pretty detached but I don't mind the idea of other people knowing anymore. At this point I figure if something went wrong I would probably want people to know about it. Still have no idea when I should tell the girls...

    Any appointment updates? Had my blood drawn this morning for the early pregnancy pannel...which I should have gotten done a loooong time ago...and GP on the 24th

    Any big milestones? Past all the big first hurdles and only a few days away from my first and latest loss milestone...I hemorrhaged on September 21st 2017 after going on a school trip and to gymnastics with DD1. I was 14 weeks, DD1 was 3 years old, and I almost died in front of her. It was terrifying and traumatic and took months to recover from physically. This little guy was conceived on exactly the same cycle as that loss...my first, the one I was farthest along for, and my most traumatic...so 4 years later it feels like I've come full circle. And if things keep going well this little guy will be here on almost exactly what my EDD would have been with my first loss. Just feels like there's some sort of message from the universe in the timing of this pregnancy ❤

    Rants/Raves/Questions? Just looking ahead to the anatomy scan now and hoping everything is still going well by then 💙💙💙
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  • kgg2241kgg2241 member
    @Panaceia oh my goodness, how scary! I hope you pass this loss milestone and can breathe easier. And hopefully the universe is lining up to give you some healing with the timing of baby boy 💙. (Also, so sorry about the toilet water -- you've had it so rough!)
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  • morgantumorgantu member
    @kgg2241 typically for the US i wait like 15 mins after appointment time. My OB is always right on time and I'm usually called back within 5 mins. 
    @Panaceia ewwww toilet water lol. And that loss story is absolutely terrible, how traumatic for you and DD. Ready for you to get over that hump! 

    Weeks/EDD? 13+4 3/20 

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 3 early losses. 2 mmc, 1 cp

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Physically doing ok. Nausea comes and goes, thought i'm ready for it to fully go. Still taking B6 and unisom at night, which takes the edge off. Emotionally ok. Now that i know i have an SCH and anterior placenta, i'm not feeling for kicks and just trying to trust that there is no reason to think things are wrong. And then worrying that i'm lulling myself into a false sense of security and things are about to go to shit. (same as you @kgg2241). 

    Any appointment updates? Ob visit on 10/4. I'm a littler anxious because the doppler would make me feel better, but not sure if it will be able to pickup the heartbeat with the anterior placenta, which will freak me TF out.  

    Any big milestones? past all my losses so that's great. the only other time i've been this pregnant i brought home a baby. It only makes me feel marginally better lol. 

    Rants/Raves/Questions?  I put this is randoms(?) but i love soup. That is all. 

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  • gembudgembud member
    @kgg2241 on a good day they take me right back, but normally probably 5-10 otherwise. But, I did have to wait 30 minutes for my 12w US

    @Panaceia you already know how I feel about timing and signs from the universe, I love that so much it makes this pregnancy so special. I’ve looked into all these psychics talk about the souls of miscarriages - how some are guardian angels and some come back when they’re ready - and maybe this is that soul ready to come back ❤️

    @morgantu give me all the soup right now! Also, you just reminded me I forgot to get more French onion from Trader Joe’s woops 😑

    Weeks/EDD? 16w 3/3

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? MC in April

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’ve been feeling really good, anxious to go to my appt tomorrow just to check on the babe, but feeling good

    Any appointment updates? Tomorrow

    Any big milestones? Having a visible bump? Not a real milestone, but feels big too me

    Rants/Raves/Questions? I have to get an US tomorrow on my cervix and I will lose my shit if they don’t show me babe 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @kgg2241 I'm so sorry you're feeling stressed about the anatomy scan. I'm right there with you ❤ Also, if you actually did change your mind you can get the NIPT done at any point during pregnancy so it's still an option if you want it. With my OB I don't typically have to wait at all. Plus when COVID started he moved to his own private office so there are usually no other people there during my appointment times.

    @morgantu I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious too. I will say with my anterior placentas the OB and GP couod always find the heartbeat on the doppler by 14 weeks. So I think you should probably be able to hear it at your next appointment ❤

    @gembud They better show you baby tomorrow!!! I would ask them right at the start before they do anything if they couod maybe start by taking a quick peak at baby just to make sure everything is OK. Everyone loves to see a baby right? How could they possibly refuse????
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @kgg2241 I feel you on the increasing anxiety. After each milestone it feels like my mind finds something else to worry about. With this OB practice I wait about 10mins to go back. Time of day matters too. Early morning appt and first appt right after lunch I’ll wait less. Last pregnancy my office was notorious for 30min-1hr waits. Terrible.

    @Panaceia i will look out for TP next time I’m sick 🤢 never thought I needed to worry about that. And i agree with @gembud, In no way is this little boy growing inside you a mere coincidence. The universe and higher powers at be are working to give you the redemption you have been waiting for. FX the next week passes and you find yourself on the other side of a big milestone.

    @morgantu your cheesy cauliflower soup sounded amaaaaazing. Can’t wait for all the fall soups to hit restaurants. Love Paneras autumn squash soup so much. Also agree with you that if you know not being able to find the heartbeat will stress you to no end then I wouldn’t try.

    @gembud hoping you get a great view of babe tomorrow!
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @night_nurse I'm sooooo jealous that you're not feeling sick anymore, but so sorry you're feeling down. I think the days getting shorter also plays a huge role in how you're feeling, so that plus the rain I'm sure makes it that much worse. Hopefully it will be short lived and will pass quickly ❤
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @kgg2241 I’m right there with you re: the anxiety about the anatomy scan.  

    @Panaceia That is such a traumatic experience - the coincidence of baby being conceived that same cycle has to be for a reason.  Passing that 14 week milestone must feel so relieving! 

     My daughter was conceived the month our son was due, and I always think that had he been born, we would have never had her.  



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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    Weeks/EDD? 14 weeks, due March 17

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? Too many.  

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 
    I kind of checked out for awhile as I’m having a lot of anxiety - like if I acknowledge the pregnancy or do anything to indicate I’m looking forward or connecting with baby, that it will be taken away.

    Still haven’t told anyone.  I told myself I would after the results of our NIPT, but now don’t want to.  Am thinking maybe after Anatomy scan in 4 weeks, but so uncertain.  I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen, because, well, I don’t get pregnant, and when I do, the pregnancies don’t last.  This just feels surreal.

    Any appointment updates? 
    NIPT came back negative for all indicators - I paid for the advance screen, so it tested for any micro deletions as well as the regular panel.  I thought it would be reassuring, but now I’m just stressing over the anatomy scan.

    Any big milestones?
    I’ve been referred from my infertility specialist to my OB! OB will be working with my neurologist to monitor my medication levels and come up with a plan for delivery, weaning meds down again after delivery etc.  I’m terrified I’ll have a seizure during delivery or later in pregnancy due to increased blood volume/how this impacts medication levels, but hope that having my doctors work together will help prevent this! 

    Rants/Raves/Questions

    I still don’t feel pregnant.  I can find baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler, my lower abdomen is starting to stick out, it feels like I’m laying on an inflated balloon if I sleep on my stomach - but it just doesn’t feel real.  Can anyone relate? 




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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @Jeenyus I know exactly what you are talking about! Despite hearing baby on the doppler with both doctors, my bump getting more obvious, the constant vomiting, great NIPT results, knowing it's a boy etc I still feel like this is some intangible fantasy that I just sort of imagined. I have to remind myself numerous times a day that I'm pregnant...and I still don't believe it. Like you I thought I'd start telling people after the NIPT results but I'm still waiting for disaster to strike at the anatomy scan...so now I'm waiting to see if we get through that first...

    Also, I feel the same way about DD2 and my first 2 losses. If either of them had continued to term we wouldn't have DD2...and she is just the best thing ever. I was expecting at least 2 losses again, so this time I just thought of the losses as one step closer to the baby I'm meant to have. I hope this is him ❤
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  • morgantumorgantu member
    @Jeenyus @Panaceia with you both <3. Nothing to indicate anything is wrong, but i just keep saying "if this pregnancy lasts" and " if we have a baby in march". I don't want to tell people even though it's getting harder to hide. We shared with family last week and it still doesn't feel real. Maybe when the kicks start? 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @morgantu I'm waiting for the kicks too and hoping that will be the magical piece of the puzzle that I seem to be missing right now!
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  • btate01btate01 member
    Hey all!  Sorry I’m always late to the party in these threads 🤪

    Weeks/EDD?
    14 weeks 3 days, due date is 3/15

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 
    MC Oct 2021

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 
    Physically I’m ok except my gag reflex has really kicked up a notch.  I’ve been gagging every time I clear my throat or any time I eat. I was really hoping to be done with all of this by now, but it’s really hanging on. 

    Emotionally, I just feel so detached (as many of you are saying).  I told my family and friends hoping that would help things but I just don’t feel pregnant (even with hearing the heartbeat and the uncomfortable feeling when I lay on my stomach, etc).  I have nerves about the anatomy scan and that something will be wrong.  Basically just echoing what you all are saying, but please know it makes me feel SO much better that I’m not alone in these feelings!  Thanks to everyone who has been sharing. 

    Any appointment updates? 
    Had my labs done this week along with genetic testing (whoopsies, should’ve done those a long time ago 😬).  Results look good so far!

    Any big milestones?
    14 weeks, out of the first trimester.  Woo!

    Rants/Raves/Questions? 
    Nothing at the moment.  Got it all out in the how “I’m feeling emotionally” section. 
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @Panaceia I wonder how long it will be until we tell anyone? My specialist told me this week “Nobody says you have to tell anyone - don’t feel this pressure to announce a pregnancy - you keep it a secret as long as you would like to”

    @morgantu How did family take the news!? I too keep saying “If I have the baby”.  The doctor pointed out yesterday that not once had I referred to the baby as the baby, our baby, etc.  I keep referring to the baby as “it”, and need to stop! I feel like it’s a way of remaining detached.



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  • morgantumorgantu member
    @Jeenyus they were excited- our parents already knew, we told them early. I have had to tell them after the fact about a miscarriage too many times and i prefer they know from the beginning. We told siblings and aunts/uncles/cousins this weekend. Mostly over text. We just sent a pic of DD in a big sister shirt. They were appropriately excited. Most of them don't know about the losses. I have also noticed that i can say "DD will be a big sister" but i can't talk about "my baby, our baby" either. *hugs* 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @Jeenyus I call the baby *it* all the time, but just can't stop. It's so weird...at the start, before the first scan, I would secretly talk to it using my favourite names...but then once I saw that heartbeat for the first time I just completely detached...like I regressed...as soon as I realized there was a possibility we might be able to bring a baby home I just completely put up a wall. I keep seeing baby boys with their moms and trying to get excited but I just can't. I am really hoping the anatomy scan and starting to feel kicks will do the trick.

    Also, I'm probably not going to announce at all. We never told anyone about DD1...just sort of let people figure it out and speculate behind our backs once my belly started growing. We didn't tell anyone about #2 either. Just waited until people started asking. This time with COVID and me on medical leave pretty much nobody will know I'm pregnant. My parents and my sister know and I'll have to tell my brother at some point only because we work together and at some point he'll realize I'm not at work...but I'm going to wait to see if we actually end up with a baby before telling anyone else. I will have to tell my girls...I just don't know when I'll have the courage to do it. I'm so afraid I'll tell them and then something will go wrong.
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