WTF Wednesday 8/25

fameonmain2 · August 2021

What's got you saying WTF today?

robbenson · August 2021

Why do I feel miserable if I don't eat or drink water but then also feel miserable when I eat and drink.
Nature is crazy how it works but this doesn't add up and I'm not a fan.

shlecks · August 2021

@robbenson I could have written that. This week it's been TERRIBLE!! WTFFFFF

Ivorytower2 · August 2021

Whoops. Posted in wrong thread. Just reposted under questions.

minnie_yoga_mama · August 2021

Why do I have absolutely no appetite? I thought I’m supposed to get hungrier when I’m pregnant?? For real, between this and the nausea, does baby just want me to curl up and starve? 😅

ccc1211 · August 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama same!!! I would have killed for this kinda side effect pre-pregnancy haha

WTF Wednesday: I’ve had nasal congestion and sneezing for 2 weeks, before we even knew (and COVID negative) and aside from the annoyance I just want to make a PSA to everyone around me that it’s not coronavirus, it’s a 9 month thing lol. Also, I ate an apple and the left side of my face is now ridiculously itchy.

Is it thirsty Thursday yet?! Bring on the POM juice! 🙌

Boobopgirl · August 2021

My WTF is that my toddler got into some water while I was making dinner and I (stupidly) thought DH had wiped it up. Nope. Fell and slid across the floor carrying hot food and now I have a bruise on my hip, an even nastier one on my shoulder and a burn on my arm and forehead from the hot pasta. And even after I fell, he cleaned up the pasta but STILL DIDNT WIPE UP THE WATER!!!

jennykatedvm · August 2021

I'm not sure if this is a WTF, symptom or question lol...Had my haircut today and usually I don't have a tender scalp, but the heat from the blow dryer felt like it was WAAAAY too hot, like actually burning. Even just the regular brushing / pulling that seemed more sore than normal. Same stylist and same equipment as usual and she's pretty gentle - so weird! I think I've had to keep the shower cooler than usual too lately. Don't remember this from last time! Anyone else have similar?

jennykatedvm · August 2021

And scary about your fall @Boobopgirl ! Glad you didn't get hurt worse. And you'd think he'd make double sure to mop up the water after that!

doxiemoxie212 · August 2021

I used some hand sanitizer on the way out of the medical building my OB's office is in, and I realized too late it's HORRIBLY INCREDIBLY scented!!! I'm home now, I've washed my hands 3x, and I cannot get the smell to go away. It's making me so nauseated I might cut off my hands.

Ivorytower2 · August 2021

@doxiemoxie212 That is the worst. I had a similar experience after cutting an onion the other night and I was gagging panicking about how to
solve it before bed. I read all cures and the one that worked best was toothpaste (assuming you are OK with that smell)

aloha_mama · August 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama This is me! I got in trouble with my CNM during my first pregnancy because I lost a lot of weight in my first trimester. I look at pictures of myself and I look awful! But then my appetite came back with a vengeance in my second tri and I gained it all back plus some. I don’t know what I’d prefer— eating everything and being nauseous about it afterwards, or not being hungry and having to literally force myself to eat 😩

@jennykatedvm OMG yes! I totally identify with this! My skin gets soooo sensitive. And I haven’t brushed my hair in like a week because it hurts too much and I get mad about it lol

I cut myself shaving my legs today— twice— and then sliced a piece off my finger while cutting bread this morning for toast. Like WTF, did I forget how to behave around sharp objects or what??

miss_lynn9 · August 2021

@aloha_mama Ah, that gives me horrible flashbacks. When I was pregnant with DD, I sliced my finger with a knife (LPT, don't cut avocados in your hand! Seriously just don't) I had to get 3 stitches and it was horrible. How's your finger??

shlecks · August 2021

@miss_lynn9 One of my friends is a NP and she says that avocado injuries are HIGHLY common. lol

aloha_mama · August 2021

@miss_lynn9 My SIL cut her palm really badly while slicing an avocado once, too, and yet I still hold an avocado to cut it 🤦🏻‍♀️ The ER nurse she saw for stitches said it happens so often they call it “avocado hand” lol! My finger is fine, it was really superficial but it bled all over the place and DD was super freaked out! But it’s all good, just another day in the life haha it’s always something!

miss_lynn9 · August 2021

@aloha_mama ah that gives me the Willie's thinking about it haha

queenklau · August 2021

@jennykatedvm, with my last pregnancy I was getting my regular wax (pre-pandemic times) and it hurt sooooooo bad. I was really early pregnancy. The skin is very sensitive during first trimester. I actually took a pregnancy text after that appt.

my WTF is that I still have milk coming out of my boobs. I weaned my youngest almost 3 months ago and Just out of curiosity tried to express some and it still came out!!!! With my first 3 weeks after weaning I was dry….

moonstonerainbow · August 2021

I appreciate this thread. It's late at night and for the first time since getting pregnant I'm wide awake and unable to slow down my racing thoughts. I apologize for this long rant. It's helpful to get it out of my brain. Please be kind. If you have similar thoughts/situations, I'd love to hear your input and experiences, especially for 2nd (or move) time mommas.

So... This is my first pregnancy. I'm 37 and I know it's technically "late" to be starting a family, but I wanted to find myself before finding love. I wanted love before marriage and wanted marriage before babies (and of course a big enough home and financial security to support all of it). Honestly, I believed my standards were impossible. But I am blessed and privileged to say I was wrong.

The thing that's got me going right now is something that I've been worried about since before TTC. Every book, resource, and person I've talked to about raising a family has said "it takes a village." I'm grieving this for myself right now. I don't have a village. My parents live 4 states away and have taken little interest in my life in 20 years. They already have 2 grandkids (aged 9 and 7) that my brother gave them. My parents adore these kids and I feel so silly admitting this, but I'm terribly jealous of my niece and nephew for the close bond they have with them.

My in-laws aren't the greatest hope for support either. They live 1 state away and my mil is morbidly obese with diabetes and a multitude of other weight related health concerns. I wouldn't dare ask her for help because aside from asking her to drive 6 hours to see us,, the baby room is up a flight of stairs and... well... she just can't do stairs.

More than anything though, I want my own mom. I'm 7 weeks along and have so much anxiety about breaking the news because I want her to be happy. I want her to cry and hug me and be joyful with me. But I'm scared she's going to say the words I dread hearing... "I never thought you'd have kids." I'm worried my parents invested all the love they had into their other grandkids and will have nothing left for my kids. I asked them recently if they would ever like to visit me, but they said they don't know if they'll ever come back (they lived in my home state most of their lives and moved away 3 yrs ago). My husband and I had a zoom wedding last year, and bought a house, all of it absent from in person contact. I want my parents to be part of my life and the life of my future children.

I want guidance on how to care for a newborn, and to be held while I hold a new life. I have no doubt I'll figure it out and do the best job I can do, but I crave the village so many people rave about. I don't have a network of friends to offer me comfort or bring me foods. The pandemic has made the world feel so isolated and strange. I know we'll come through someday and things will be normal again. But when they do, I'll be a different person because I'll be a mom. And I don't even know how to begin creating a village from nothing. I want my mom, but I think I need to let that go

.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for being with me. I hope the rest of you are feeling embraced and supported by your loved ones. Not just spouses, but everybody else and their moms too.

queenklau · August 2021

@willowhisper, first of all **sending you a hug***

It’s totally normal to start overthinking and worrying about things when you are thinking about this massive change in your life. No matter the circumstance, you and your partner will figure it out. A couple of comments-

1) your village doesn’t have to be family all the time, it can we friends, nanny, doula, mommy friends, neighbors etc, it can also include long distance family members on a short time basis (weekends/vacations). I know this, I am in that situation, no family nearby at all (I am NE and all of our family are in the South or overseas). My family members do make an effort to visit and help as needed.

2) I think it’s a great indication that your parents are so close to their existing grandkids, there is plenty of love to give no matter the distance. So I wouldn’t worry about that.

3) with regards to your mom, I don’t know your relationship but having a baby may be a good ice breaker to reconnect or rekindle the bond. I bet she will be super excited.

4) On creating a village, try some local meet up groups, what about work colleagues?. Start by hiring help and go from there.
Lastly, DH and I never really had a village until a couple of years down the road, so it takes time, especially one you would trust your babies.

I wish you the best. For now, take it one day at a time and enjoy your pregnancy, if it’s not too uncomfortable already.

monstera13 · August 2021

@willowhisper That’s a lot of stress! I get the concerns about having a village- we haven’t lived anywhere close to family during my DS’s whole life and still don’t. I was always jealous of the parents who could just drop their kids off at the grandparents for the night or the weekend to have some “me time.” But technology has helped a lot with allowing kids to build relationships with family from afar. My son adores my parents, and while they visited, a lot of the relationship has developed over FaceTime and Snapchat. And for a village- look for local groups and also here! My biggest support with my son was from my monthly board with the Bump. We still talk daily!

Blondesweety444 · August 2021

@willowhisper hugs! I know this is hard to think about!

Your village can be whoever you want it to be. My mom (who I was very close to) passed away a year before my son was born. My dad could barely care for himself much less help us out. My MIL is insane at best. I did have some other family, but most of them were in a very different phase of life. My grandma ended up helping me a lot, but I tried to be gentle on her due to her age.

My village really became my BMB group. They were the ones answering my questions at 3am and helping keep me grounded. I hope we can find the same here.

You can join local moms groups and surround yourself with friends and neighbors who are able to help when you need it. If you can afford it, find a nanny or house cleaner to come help you out during the day for a few hours. Virtual meal trains where family can send you a meal via food delivery.

It can be hard, but you will find a way! ❤️

loveanddatadriven · August 2021

This thread has brought up so many strong emotions for me that I think a “Building a Village” thread is needed at some point. Sorry we’re taking over WTF Wednesday.

@willowhisper I had all the feels reading your post. We moved across the country to be near family while starting a family, and while it worked out to an extent, we didn’t get the “village” feeling or regular engagement that we were hoping for. In our case, our beloved dog’s chronic, severe anxiety had morphed into dangerous aggression, and our local family refused to come visit.

I leaned heavily on a therapist who helped me strategize to relieve stressors, ideas for building roots in my new community, and cope with things I couldn’t control. Some therapists specialize in post-partum and can help even more.

I didn’t use a post-partum doula, but am considering it this time around, for the same reasons that you’ve mentioned: someone to guide us through the hiccups of early infant care and provide emotional support and real-life hugs.

I see more in retrospect that support came from surprising places. An old, out-of-touch friend who sent us flowers and made an effort to visit us from across the country. Our dog trainer and vet who put their hearts into helping our family cope with canine aggression and keeping us safe, not just helping our dog. My out-of-state parents who made long drives to help us, and when the pandemic hit and daycare was closed, DD and I lived with them so they could help care for her. An incredible daycare that deeply loves DD. A couple of really great sitters. Countless food delivery workers who will never know how much I needed them and love them. Most surprising: H’s weekly D&D online gaming group that I got to join. So I would just say open your heart to other possibilities of support, and if your family doesn’t rise to the occasion, it doesn’t mean you haven’t been supported. ❤️

I’ve been able to bond with the family that is here better now that my expectations are more aligned with reality.

@queenklau wholeheartedly agree that your village doesn’t have to be relatives.
@monstera13 I like the idea of staying in touch with the Bump board after birth for support! Mine moved to FB, which I don’t use.

miss_lynn9 · August 2021

@willowhisper Sending you so much love. ❤️ I agree wiother responses that your village doesn't have to be family. My village this past 2 years has been the amazing FTMs that I met here during our first pregancies. We talk daily and I don't know what I would have done without them.

Blondesweety444 · August 2021

@loveanddatadriven my BMB also moved over to FB. During the election/pandemic a lot of us were wanting to avoid FB so we ended up moving to Discord. Which I think has worked very well so far! I think some folks forget to check it, but it’s a much more neutral platform than FB is. I’m still in close contact with many of them and my son will be 5 this year. 🥰

miss_lynn9 · August 2021

My WTF is TB started doing this thing where when I go to type in the reply box, it doesn't move up; it stays behind my keyboard so I have no idea what I'm typing.its pretty darn annoyingy. Anyone else have this issue and know how to fix it?

monstera13 · August 2021

@loveanddatadriven Oh ours moved over to a FB group too. But it works for me since that’s the app that’s most comfortable to me (the bump is not very user friendly).

jennykatedvm · August 2021

@miss_lynn9 Yes!! It's driving me nuts. Can't see who I'm tagging or what I'm typing!

moonstonerainbow · August 2021

Thanks @queenklau, @monstera13, @loveanddatadriven, and @miss_lynn9. I did eventually get to sleep and it was refreshing to wake up and read your responses. I love that this forum and community exists and it's nice to know I can still connect with you all after the baby comes. I'll consider reaching out to new parent groups in my area too. It's nice to know I'm not alone in these feelings.

SmashJam · August 2021

@miss_lynn9 yes the keyboard thing is driving me nuts!

@willowhisper I came late to the party but glad you're feeling a little better after seeing the stuff everyone wrote above. + 1 million to the general idea that "Building a Village" comes in a variety of different ways!

doxiemoxie212 · August 2021

@willowhisper fwiw, my parents had me at 40/42, and it wasn't weird at all (and I'm an only child). Their parents didn't provide much of a village, but they kind of created one by putting me in a daycare affiliated with their work so all my friends were their friends' parents. I think those "it takes a village" concepts are put out there to encourage people to ask for help, to encourage others to offer help, etc. Will parenthood be harder without a village? Yes. Impossible? No. But you can also pay for a village, if that's financially available, or as others have suggested join a parent group, etc. Like, there are a lot of options beyond your own parents or YH's parents. A biological village is not better than another kind of village.

robbenson · August 2021

@shlecks mine got so bad I wasn't eating or drinking. I had a mobile IV company give me a "morning sickness" cocktail and it helped 100%. I was able to eat and drink water yesterday and today I'm still doing way better

Want a personalized experience?

WTF Wednesday 8/25

Re: WTF Wednesday 8/25

Choose Another Board

Search Boards