Miscarriage and now not able to get pregnant

katb2021 · August 2021

Hi everyone! I am posting my story hoping someone can give me any advice. I got pregnant a couple of month after stopping birth control that I took for decades. At 7 weeks I had missed miscarriage that I found out about at 10 weeks because ultrasound showed no heartbeat and the fetus development stopped at about 7 weeks. I took misoprostol and everything came out of me. I did not need surgery. We have been trying to get prevnant again. It has been three normal cycles and no luck. My period is regular and comes at the expected time each month. I also know that I ovulate at the same time each month by using OPK. Every time we have sex around ovulation time, I have light bleeding. It never happened to me before. That started happening after I had miscarriage. So something must have weakened? Why do I spot after sex now and it never happen before? My OB said it is normal. At what point should I be seeing fertility specialist? How many month should I try for to get pregnant naturally? I have been delaying seeing fertility specialist because I know those services are not covered by insurance. What should I ask fertility specialist to check? I do not want to get a bill for thousands of dollars. My OB said my anatomy is normal, she did not see any abnormalities. The pregnancy tissue did not have enough DNA on it to do the testing (per lab). I m 36 and my husband is 50. We r kinda running out of time here. My husband was recently diagnosed with Hashimotos disease but his thyroid level is normal. He just has a lot of thyroid peroxidase antibodies in his body . I do not know if this could be an issue. I don’t know what to do and feel hopeless. Anybody had anything like that happen to them ? Any advice? Thank you !

stormageddon-darklordofall · August 2021

@katb2021 I'm sorry for your loss. I've had 5 MCs and no living children, so I understand the stress and desire to become PG again after MC. It can take 6+ months for your body to regulate out after a MC, even one at 7 weeks. The spotting you're having can be completely normal. I personally have felt new symptoms I'd never experienced before after my MCs.

You are no more fertile after a MC than you would be any other regular cycle. It can take an average couple up to a year to get PG naturally, with no complications. They say your chance of getting PG each cycle is 20%. So, only trying for 3 cycles is still very much on the low end. With your advanced ages, you could seek a fertility specialist after 6 cycles (in a row - each PG counts on it's own). Fertility specialists ARE expensive. You would be looking at testing for Infertility if you make it past 6 cycles.

In the meantime, I would read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and doing basal body temping. Honestly, it was very helpful after MC and helps you learn your body. It could greatly help you.

katb2021 · August 2021

Hi. Thank you for your note. I m sorry you had 5 MC. I m sorry to ask but were u able to find out why it happened? My biggest scare is to get pregnant and to have another one. I can’t go through this roller coaster of emotions again. I never found out why I had one. Thank you for sharing your story

stormageddon-darklordofall · August 2021

@katb2021 No, I never found out. Unfortunately, I have unexplained Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. So the reality of the situation is that they won't do testing until after 2 or 3 losses. (depending on if you have previous live births, etc.) Also, for those who do qualify and get testing, approximately 50% of us never find out the cause. So, testing isn't always the good help you may think it will be. I mean, I would still absolutely 100% have gone and gotten testing if I had to do it all over again. I wanted to make sure I wasn't losing baby after baby for some easily fixable or known problematic reason. But, I went to 2 different RE's and have done Soooo many tests, and I have no answers. It's devastating.

As for the roller coaster of emotions. It definitely sucks. And I personally understand the "I want to be PG again NOW" feeling! But, all I can say is to take it one day at a time. Do not put too much stress or focus on it if you can avoid it... just live your life. You can't change the outcome. All you can do is focus on what you're doing in your life. And if you become PG again, all you can do is focus on loving that baby for every day that you have it, regardless of whether you have the PG for only 5 weeks, 8 weeks, 20 weeks, or if you have a living baby. I focused on each PG each time. And all you can do is to look at your choices. Do you want to try again or are you done and ready to stop. That's it. Those are your choices. You either decide to try again to have a kid, or decide to stop and either live childless or explore another avenue to having children.

katb2021 · August 2021

Thank you for your note. It definitely helps. I just have to stop stressing myself out and take one day at a time. Whatever happens is out of my control. All I can do is to keep living a healthy lifestyle, take my prenatal s and hope for the best. Stress that I put myself under with all the negative thoughts is just not going to help the situation. Stress is just making it all worse. I m sorry you are going through such a hard time. And I know not knowing why it keeps on happening is devastating. My OB did not do any tests on me to see why I had a miscarriage. She told me if I want to do the tests , I would have to go to the fertility specialist and test both myself and my husband. But I never went and decided to try again. Good luck to you! Like u said there is always a way to become a mom if u really want it. It certainly is going to be more expensive then the natural way but if you really want it , it can be possible.

bump777 · December 2021

It is relatively cheap/easy to do semen analysis if you haven’t yet. That could be a place to start given your husband’s age/health.

Miscarriage and now not able to get pregnant

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