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PGAL Check In 8/12

PanaceiaPanaceia member
in March 2022 Moms
This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). TW for entire thread due to discussion of MC, TFMR, CP, etc. 

Weeks/EDD?

Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 

Any appointment updates? 

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions? 
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Re: PGAL Check In 8/12

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  • morgantumorgantu member
    @Panaceia hooray for a great US and a good tech. Aslo, i have alwasy called dd nugget :) 

    Weeks/EDD? 8+5 3/20

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 3 previous losses, all early. 

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? better after the US, still short of breath and nauseous all the time. I have been taking b6+unisom and it definitely takes the edge off, but i still don't feel great. Also feel like i'm already looking like 18 or 20 weeks compared to last time lol. 

    Any appointment updates? Had an OB visit yesterday, she was the ob who prescribed my clomid (how we got this bb) so we were both very excited to have the appt. Next will be in a month. 

    Any big milestones? like @panaceia, a heartbeat is a huge milestone for us so i'm feeling great about that. 

    Rants/Raves/Questions? WELL. Apparently i'm ama now. I'll be 35 at delivery (my 35th bday is february) so now i have to have a genetics referral? I'm annoyed lol. 

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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @morgantu I definitely look 20 weeks pregnant already too:/ And I'll be 43 in February (the 28th...) it's a good month! The only thing that they did differently for my pregnancy at 40 with DD2 vs my pregnancy at 34 with DD1 was that I got the NIPT. Other than that I has less attention than with my first. Here they don't really consider you AMA until 42 so I'll to see if they do anything differently this time around...

    @btate01 I can commiserate with the emotional vs physical feelings. I was so stressed before the US yesterday because I was feeling so good physically! Everything was great and I threw up all night, but not feeling those symptoms can be so triggering (which is sort of ridiculous for me since I never lost my symptoms with my MMCs...and yet here I am...).
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @night_nurse The only people we told are my parents and only because they are out of town and if the ultrasounds hadn't gone well I would have needed them to watch the girls during surgery which would have had to happen the next day. Other than that we are not planning on telling anyone...
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  • rachelredheadrachelredhead member
    @night_nurse totally understand the hesitancy in telling folks. We’ve told many people, but I think that has just been because we happened to see folks in person that we usually don’t get to see. For one of my losses, nobody but my husband knew at the time, and I found that to be much harder for me than having folks close to me to provide comfort and prayer. I appreciated not having to fake happiness around those people. But that is 100% a personal call. 
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    edited August 2021
    @night_nurse With our daughter, we didn’t “announce” officially until a month before she was due.  Those who needed to know (immediate family and my coworkers/friends) knew.  We had almost announced the pregnancy before her, and lost the baby a few days after 12 weeks.

    This time I haven’t told anyone, aside from having to tell my boss this past week after being told to take a week off by my OB.  Really don’t want to tell my coworkers yet, so will have to come up with some reason for why I’m on modified this time.

    We agreed that we won’t do a social media announcement this time until baby is in our arms.  Those who need to know will know.

    We won’t tell our daughter until 4 months, and then will have her help us tell the grandparents. I’m looking like I’m 4-5 months along already due to bloat, so have been wearing lots of oversized empire shirts and draped cardigans.



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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @rachelredhead It’s so tough to know when to tell! 

    I’m such a private person as is, and one of our first losses my MIL told everyone (extended family, her church, all of their friends), we then had to deal with people calling, sending cards, etc.  I just wanted to crawl into bed and hide out, so having to rehash it constantly was difficult.

    Subsequent losses we hadn’t told anyone, and I felt like I could process and move forward without having to endure others not knowing what to say etc.

    However, our 12 week loss we hadn’t told anyone, and I felt so alone and broken. It was awkward to bring it up a loss when nobody even knew about the pregnancy, and grieving that one was really tough on our own :( 



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  • kgg2241kgg2241 member
    I always have that hardest time telling people and knowing when to tell. It gives me a lot of anxiety. *TW* I actually blame a bit of it on my SIL. When we told her and her family about my first pregnancy I was 9 weeks along. She was upset I told them so early (even though we had seen the heartbeat) because she didn't want to tell her kids if something went wrong. Well then I miscarried at 11 weeks (1 day away from 12 weeks). It was horrible. I felt so stupid and so much shame. We plan to wait as long as possible to tell them. 
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  • goldfishcrakergoldfishcraker member
    @nightnurse I'm starting to unexpectedly have trouble telling people.
    Personally, I have preferred to tell people early because after going through our first loss alone, it was a world of difference having the love and support with the second one.

    However, we are not exactly getting positive reactions when we tell people about this pregnancy.
    There is no excitement or happiness or "congratulations!". Everyone is just like, "really? Oh.."
    And I don't understand and it's starting to hurt. it's kinda making me want to stop telling people, and just show up with a baby one day..
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    I'm sorry people aren't more excited for you @goldfishcraker 😞 I find that sometimes when people know about my losses they are more cautious in showing their happiness early on...I bet as you get further people will start showing more excitement ❤

    @kgg2241 I'm a little shocked that your SIL would say that to you and I'm so sorry she made you feel that way. You had every right to share your happiness when you felt comfortable doing so! 
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @goldfishcraker, im so sorry everyone’s reactions have been completely disheartening. That is a huge fear of mine also, and probably part of the reason I am holding back.

    @kgg2241, thank you for sharing your experience. I hope you are getting more support and love this time around for this babe. I feel like when we do share the news it’ll just open a huge can of worms and I’m such a private person, I prefer to just keeps things close.

    @Jeenyus our personalities sound very similar. With our loss I was honestly glad such few people knew. We were able to process it ourselves and grieve without having to take on all the grief of our loved ones who would have known too. I need to let go of the idea that there is a “right” way to do this and just choose what is best for us. Thank you for your perspective.

    @rachelredhead we also want to be able to tell people in person and going back down into a modified lockdown with this current surge isn’t helping us be able to see anyone. Im glad you’ve been able to share with so many people!

    @Panaceia I think my heart is telling me to wait and keep this our little secret for a while longer. Thank you for the input!
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    Gah! I sooooo need new maternity leggings, but my mind won't let me buy any before my 12 week scan, just in case. I bought a bunch of new maternity tops with my first loss and felt so dumb. I wore one of the tops to my bad ultrasounds with both my first and second loss...and then decided they were jinxed and never wore them again. So I have a bunch of gorgeous maternity tops that I did not wear with DD2 and will not wear with this one. They're not nursing tops anyways and since I'm still breastfeeding DD2 I wouldn't be able to wear them much regardless BUT I do need leggings. And I now realize I need some maternity nursing shirts too....which I'm sure I'm also going to have a hard time buying 😬 Has anyone bought new mat clothes yet this go round? I'm seriously panicking at the thought of buying something, even though I really need it, because I'm convinced it's going to make something bad happen...😅
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  • goldfishcrakergoldfishcraker member
    @Panaceia I struggled to find any maternity clothes last time. Serious lack of options around here.
    And NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE AMAZINGNESS OF MATERNITY PANTS! Until I was like... 18 weeks haha.
    Life changing!
    I was lucky though, and a friend who is my height, passed down her maternity clothes to me. So I only bought a few things, and then nursing sweaters and bras once baby came.

    Also, I didn't find out until like, 34 weeks that maternity underwear is a thing and is AMAZING!!

    Im hoping to buy a couple cute pieces this time.
    Most of what I was given was 3rd+ hand and is worn out now. 
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @Panaceia i just cant bring myself to spend a ton of money on clothing that i’ll only wear a few months- although resale value is typically good for maternity clothes. I just bought a lot of clothing from gap, motherhood, and pea in the pod off a seller on Mercari for $80. I too had some serious hesitation buying them for fear that I would jinx myself but buying it secondhand made me feel less stressed that if I just tossed it all it wouldnt be a huge loss.
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @goldfishcraker @night_nurse My mat clothes are all stored in the basement somewhere so I should probably pull them out before I actually decide what I need...but again, I feel like I'm going to jinx myself if I pull them out before my 12 week us:/ I figue my yoga pants and nursing tops can get me through until then...honestly I don't buy many mat clothes either, just the essentials to get me through...but all my mat clothes are like 8 years old now and I'm pretty sure my leggings were on their last legs already with DD2 😅
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  • btate01btate01 member
    @night_nurse I’m having major anxiety over telling people this time.  I’ve only told two friends so far and that’s only because one gave me an ultrasound when I was having some bleeding and one came to visit me for to do some previously planned wine tasting 😂 I haven’t told anyone else but as 12 weeks slowly approaches I keep getting both a sense of relief and a sense of dread, both wanting to just tell people and wanting to never tell anyone.  I told all of my friends very early with my last pregnancy, and while it was so nice to have their support, it was also devastating to have to tell them all when I miscarried.  In my mind, I think I’m equating sharing the news with something bad happening, so now I just don’t want to say anything for fear of something going wrong.  
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @Panaceia I just ordered from H&M last night, two leggings, two tanks and two tshirts.  I’m sick of looking like Winnie the Pooh - my chest and lower tummy are super fluffy right now, so my shirts keep rolling up.

    Also ordered myself another snoogle lol, I’ve been having such a hard time sleeping! 



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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @Jeenyus I have 2 snoogles (I even got a kid sized one for DD1 last pregnancy). Not only do I think they are magical for pregnancy sleep, they are also magical for kid sleep. I'm just working on rearranging my room so that I can change to a king sized bed...I still bedshare with DD2 and need the extra room for my snoogles! My doctor did indeed put me on medical leave at my appointment today, so at least I don't need to worry about fitting into any work clothes any time soon...
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  • gembudgembud member
    Ah I’m so late, I needed to get away so ran away to the mountains for a long weekend 

    @goldfishcraker maternity undies are the BEST

    @Panaceia I just whipped out the maternity clothes this week, I look like I’m 20w it’s insane 

    @kgg2241 I’m so sorry your SIL did that to you, that’s horrible

    Weeks/EDD? 11w4d 3/3

    Previous loss(es) (share as much or as little as you like)? 7w in April

    How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I’m doing good, getting really nervous for my 12w appt Friday though 

    Any appointment updates? Friday US and 12w visit

    Any big milestones? 

    Rants/Raves/Questions? 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    Aaaaaahhhhh @gembud good luck on Friday! I'm sure it will be another perfect scan with your perfect little guy 😍😍😍
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @btate01 I am having the exact same dichomoty of emotions re: telling people about the pregnancy.  Some days I feel excited like I want everyone to know and in the next breath im thinking “im not telling anyone until 20 weeks+”.
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @gembud good luck on Friday! So exciting ❤️❤️
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  • btate01btate01 member
    @gembud Eek!  You’re so close!  Good luck with your appointment! 🥳
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @gembud Best of luck with your ultrasound! 



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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @morgantu I totally get it. I hate being so sick but any time I feel even a bit better my anxiety kicks in:/  I've read studies about how the fresh air actually helps reduce nausea in pregnancy so I'm sure it's also partly that! Enjoy a few moments of not feeling like dirt for me!
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  • night_nursenight_nurse member
    @morgantu i am the same way. Was spiraling earlier this week because i felt great and wasnt able to locate babe with the doppler. Now feeling utterly terrible again and finding the heartbeat easily 😂 im glad your good days lined up with your trip and that you’re getting rest! 
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  • goldfishcrakergoldfishcraker member
    @morgantu I feel you my friend.
    I've had 3 rather big bleeds (big for pregnancy, not big as in dangerous to my life) in the last 8ish days. The most recent was this am. And this afternoon, I realized I am way less nauseated than I've been, and now I'm freaking out.
    As miserable as the nausea is, it's at least a comforting sign...
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  • btate01btate01 member
    @morgantu @goldfishcraker I feel you both!  I’ve been dealing with a SCH and I’ve convinced myself so many times that the worst is happening because my symptoms are dwindling…especially when that lines up with any kind of bleeding.  Even when I’m nauseous I convince myself that I’m not nauseous enough, which is so dumb 🤦🏼‍♀️ I can’t help it though!
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  • JeenyusJeenyus member
    @morgantu That has been my life the past few weeks - symptoms come and go, and go from really strong to nonexistent.  When I cramp I worry somethings wrong, but then when I don’t cramp I worry the same thing.

    @goldfishcraker The same here over the past two weeks.  Bleeding, cramping.  Last week I was having bright red blood.  But ultrasounds showed all is well.  It’s so worrisome.



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  • Patience7150Patience7150 member
    @goldfishcraker and @Jeenyus I am sincerely thinking of you both. Bleeding during pregnancy is so terrifying and I know you don't really have a choice in the matter, but I admire your strength. <3 
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