TTCAL w/o 8.2

inthewoods23 · August 2021

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**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game?

fameonmain2 · August 2021

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Well, it's CD1 and another CP for me, so that's 2 back-to-back. There were a lot of tears this morning and I ended up cancelling my tutoring appointment (luckily it's someone I've been seeing weekly and they were very understanding). I'm still feeling pretty upset and just trying to tick off a manageable housework to-do list to keep myself distracted. But honestly, this just sucks. (spoilering the rest since this got kind of long)

I told my mom about my CP last month and that I was going to see an RE and she wasn't really helpful, which hurt a bit since we're very close. I'm pretty sure she is still quite traumatized by her own infertility journey (20 years) so I'm not holding it against her but I'm probably not going to tell her about this one just to protect my own emotional health. I obviously have MH and he is great, and I told some friends about my last CP, but I'll probably keep quiet about this one. Just explaining a CP to those who have never struggled or aren't trying is a task in itself, and then I just don't want the pitying looks from everyone. I know it's still relatively early in our journey, but this one seriously feels like a punch in the gut. I can't help feeling a bit helpless, and I'm so scared of more loss. Sorry to be such a downer this week.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I was supposed to go for a repeat blood draw tomorrow (I was already not feeling very optimistic based on a low number last week) but obviously that won't be happening, so I'll be getting a CD3 blood draw later this week with the RE, then assuming next week for the HSG.

Questions?

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game? This was tough - really love games! I love Clue and Scrabble for board. We played Phase 10 with our family this past weekend (card game) which is a lot of fun but LONG (like hours) - and we were NOT prepared to be up that late!

inthewoods23 · August 2021

@fameonmain2 so sorry for you loss *hugs*. It sucks that some people will just never understand. Be kind to yourself and know that you'll have the RE in your corner soon. I can't stand games that take hours and hours! This is why I never play Monopoly. No thanks I like going to bed at a reasonable hour

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 8 weeks Oct 2020

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are good. Anxiously awaiting to find out if my body responds properly and allows an embryo to implant this cycle.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? HPTs this weekend

Questions? nope

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game? Life was a board game we used to play all the time. My favorite card game is probably Skip-bo. Introduced to us by my great-grandma and that's one thing I'll always remember about her. With DH's family we used to be big on playing Cards Against Humanity. It gets old kinda quick as soon as my future BIL starts commenting "play to the reader" every time his card is picked as the winner. Just shut up. When the racist or political cards come up he's usually pretty bad too making things uncomfortable..... Okay I need to turn this around to end on a happy note. I do enjoy Uno too. My brother often plays with friends and when they argue on the rules he likes to call me because apparently I'm some kind of Uno guru who knows all and is the tie breaker with the rules they should play by haha.

pajamstagrams · August 2021

@fameonmain2 oh, I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ that's so tough. I feel that a loss is a loss, no matter how far along you were. I hope you get some answers as you work with the RE.

Omg we stay up so late at family board game nights! 🙈 Normally they start at my bedtime so it's definitely a shock to my system.

Status: benched, for another week and then I'm free!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

TW other people's PG

Seems like every week I find out someone else is PG. Sigh. Could be a random stranger (like a coworkers partner I've never met) but it's still a gut punch, especially if their due date was even remotely close to mine. For the most part I am doing ok though, just occasionally have those bad moments where it catches me off guard.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Just my normal hormone testing.

Questions?

Nope

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game? Probably trivial pursuit! I love it when my useless knowledge (helloooo questions on Twilight and Harry Potter) comes into play 😂

fameonmain2 · August 2021

@inthewoods23 thank you

Totally agree with you about cards against humanity. Was definitely fun at first but now I'm not so into it. I would prefer to do a game like heads up.

@pajamstagrams thank you

Yay for almost being unbenched!

TW

I hear you on the PG announcements. Same here, except it seems to be a lot of people having their babies that either I didn't know were PG or I forgot were PG. A couple are definitely women who struggled with IF in one way or another so of course I'm happy for them, but still frustrated for myself.

MH and I do love to play the nightly broadcast of Jeopardy like it's a board game... tracking points and all. We are nerds.

AFM I spoke with the nurse at the RE and she said we may not be able to do CD3 bloodwork dependent on whether or not my HCG levels are still high. Then she told me we couldn't do much unless I changed to a later appointment which I can't do and be able to get to my work gig on time tomorrow. So MH sat down and decided to TTA this month so that we can get all of the bloodwork done next month without worrying. Honestly a hard decision, I don't want to take a month off but it will probably be good for my mental health. The only thing that's frustrating is if all of this testing doesn't get us an answer, which of course it absolutely might not. Not saying I won't get the testing... just venting. Y'all know how well this all stinks.

edited for typo

inthewoods23 · August 2021

@pajamstagrams sounds like we're all in the same boat about other people's PGs

like @fameonmain2, I've had a couple things pop up on my feed from people who have been PG for some time now. One had her baby 8 weeks early, the other was a "we're in the home stretch" kind of thing since she's due later this month. And now of course I'm at the point of thinking "I should have a 2 month old right now"

@fameonmain2 I don't think I actually have played Heads Up lol. My mom and I used to regularly watch Wheel of Fortune and got pretty good at those puzzles! Waiting cycles suck, but I agree it can be good for your mental health.

gingermama29 · August 2021

@fameonmain2 so sorry for your loss. Sending so many hugs! Oooh I love Phase 10!

@inthewoods23 crossing everything for you this cycle!! I want this for you so bad!

@pajamstagrams ugh I feel that trigger so much. Sorry you’re having to continually deal with that. I feel like I would enjoy a specialized trivial pursuit like Harry Potter.

@fameonmain2 sorry you’re taking a month off but I hope it helps with your mental health! Sending extra hugs.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in January

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are okay. I’m reaching the crappy milestone of my empty due date this month. Turning my calendar to August and seeing scribbles on that date was a punch in the gut this morning. Most days I’m okay and others, it just hits hard.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. Just trying to keep busy during the TWW.

Questions? No

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game? Oooh that’s a hard question. Board game would have to be either Fast Track or Ticket to Ride. Card game would be Dutch Blitz, Euchre, or Hand and Foot. My family plays a lot of games, especially during our vacation.

inthewoods23 · August 2021

@gingermama29 oh the things that show up when we're near our empty due dates

pajamstagrams · August 2021

@fameonmain2 I'm sorry you won't be able to do blood work as soon as you liked, but hopefully the month off does help your mental health (it did for me).

@inthewoods23 🤞 this is your cycle!!!! And gosh, I haven't played uno in years!! But I remember it can definitely get heated 😂

@inthewoods23 @gingermama29 so many hugs for you guys regarding your empty due dates ❤️❤️

@gingermama29 I have a LOTR trivial pursuit that I'm awesome at, it's really fun because I usually win because no one else is nerdy enough to have watched all the BTS footage and director commentary and seen the extended versions multiple times...😂🤓 Although I haven't played in years and my knowledge has probably slipped a bit...

Also I haven't heard of any of your games! Crazy!

inthewoods23 · August 2021

@pajamstagrams I really haven't played any of the new versions beyond... Uno Attack I think (was that even in my high school years??

). My brother plays some light/dark version and also Uno Flip or something. The last time he called me, they were playing a version that can have you all giving your hand to the player on your left. He had put that card down as his turn. The hand he ended up with was 1 card and all his friends called him on not saying Uno but he was arguing that placing the card down that causes everyone to pass their cards was his turn and his turn was considered over regardless of the hand he received. So even though his new hand was only 1 card, it did not require him to say Uno. His logic made sense to me! But I landed in the middle that I agreed with him but that it's up to them as a group to decide how they're going to play that rule.

tessiesmom26 · August 2021

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 8wk MMC/Blighted Ovum, lead to D&C last week.

Status: Benched this cycle

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Honestly not great. The emotional toll is draining and the weirdest things are setting me off. Things that I thought I could do to relax and get my mind off things are ending up being triggers. For example my shower last night that took an additional 20 minutes due to the increased hair loss from a hormone dump. Or when riding my Peloton, about to PR on a 10 minute Disney themed ride, and the instructor mentions coming back from a pregnancy. Also my MIL is a narcissist and despite both DH and I's insistence on not talking about it, she continues to try to talk about it... sorry, sort of went off there.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Post op follow up on Friday.

Questions? Not at the moment

GTKY: what's your favorite board or card game? DH and I love to play Battleship! We break it out from time to time. As for card games, my cousin introduced me to Incoherent and that was a blast. It has words that have to be sounded out to guess the correct saying. We played the NSFW version and while it was crude, it was a riot and I was killing it.

@fameonmain2 I'm sorry for your loss. I hate that you feel you have to keep things to yourself a bit. I'm also sorry to hear that your testing is not going to happen as soon as you thought, but I hope that this will be a positive thing for your mental health.
@inthewoods23 I feel the same about CAH. It was fun at first, but there has been too many uncomfortable moments playing it that it doesn't have the same appeal any more.
@pajamstagrams I have been dealing with those same triggers. Solidarity my friend.
@gingermama29 I have heard so many good things about Ticket to Ride but have never played. I feel inclined to try it out soon though!

inthewoods23 · August 2021

@tessiesmom26 no need to apologize for venting - we're always here for a good vent! It sucks when you have family that won't respect your wish to keep your loss out of conversation.

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