Monday bitch fest 7.5.2021

photographerwife · July 2021

Let’s hear it.

kaf1788 · July 2021

I have like 4 or 5 hours of feeling human each day and I have to use them all for work or keeping my toddler alive. I really really need to work out for my sanity but there’s just not enough non-woozy hours in a day right now. It’s driving me crazy

[Deleted User] · July 2021

I don't really have much to complain about lol but yesterday I was so. hot. backstage during the show. There is AC, but it was just not working for me in pregnant-mode. I was even standing in front of the air conditioners for a couple minutes at two different points to try and cool off. ...Only to have the Director inform me that they could hear the AC humming in my microphone!?? Doh! Glad I got through it okay, and definitely hoping it's not too hot next weekend.

Man @kafi788 I'm sorry you're not feeling great much of the time. FX 2nd tri is better for us all!

[Deleted User] · July 2021

Oh! I forgot, my real beef was actually with the audience member who was RECORDING PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE SHOW!!! I think it was somebody's mom lol but still! they make an announcement at the beginning not to record. She should know better! It's so distracting

angelz429 · July 2021

@BusinessWife show? I guess I missed something.

[Deleted User] · July 2021

Yeah, I went to an audition 3dp5dt and a few days later realized that our transfer had worked, plus I was cast in a musical. 🤦 Lol I got involved in the first place thinking it would be good to have something to throw myself into in case it <i>didn't</i> work, but now here we are hahha it's been so much fun!!! @angelz429

JWatt5 · July 2021

I'm in Human Resources and it's just started as "one of those weeks". I'm going on vacation next week to our cottage so I'm trying to stay caught up but I can't if people are going to keep on being turds and giving me extra work to do lol. I'm already looking forward to Maternity Leave. It's so much nicer looking after a real baby for a year instead of adult babies. lol.

makingbacon · July 2021

@JWatt5 I gained so much more respect for HR and what you all have to deal with on a daily basis when I was pumping for DS1. The pumping room shared a wall with the HR director’s office, and it was interesting to hear the workings of the department on a daily basis. I did let her know I could hear through the wall, but would consider anything I heard to be confidential. They scheduled meetings around my pumping schedule after that lol. After re-reading the first sentence, I feel like it could read as I didn’t have respect for them before that. I don’t know a better way to word it, so please note I already respected them. I now respect them more.

@BusinessWife That rule didn’t apply to that mom. Her baby was a star lol.

@kaf1788 I hope you start feeling better soon. First trimester is rough.

AFM: This girl I know had a baby 3 months after I had DS2, and everything is a competition for her. DS2 was dairy-free, so by default I was dairy-free, but he was a biter, so I stopped nursing at 9.5 months because ouch. I had plenty of freezer supply to get him past 12 months, so I slowly dried up and didn’t worry about it. She keeps comparing our nursing journeys because she’s still nursing and “doing great.” I ended up snapping at her today after she made one too many passive aggressive comments about giving up on a bad day. My bad day ended with a bloody boob with multiple teeth marks. So, I pointed out that I may have stopped earlier than I wanted, but I pumped while traveling over the course of multiple overnight work trips, fed another dairy-free baby while still filling the freezer (hello oversupply), and didn’t consume any dairy products for 9+ months. I usually don’t engage, but she seriously hit my last nerve today.

chgilmore · July 2021

@BusinessWife that show sounds so fun! I miss performing. that lady sounds super annoying.
@kaf1788 oof, I feel you. the minimal energy is EXHAUSTING especially when we can't use it for ourselves.
@JWatt5 LOL. "real babies instead of human babies" xD
@makingbacon ugh, why does everything with moms turn into a competition sometimes? I'm glad you stood up for yourself though

JWatt5 · July 2021

@makingbacon - haha no worries I got what you meant. I’m the HR Manager and often when I think I’ve seen it all/done it all someone blows my mind. Although I think having to fire someone while they were in jail, like go there and hold the letter up with our lawyer may top it so far. Keeper of everyone’s crazy secrets.

Comparing feeding journeys is the worst. I get that some people are all rah rah I breastfed forever because - they already have done it - but I have also lost it when people tell me I just gave up (I exclusively pumped for 6 months). You do you lady but I HATED breastfeeding so much I subjected myself to pumping and if it’s rough again, I’m saving up for formula just incase. Loved my Formula Pro. I do know the benefits to breastmilk and so I pumped but it’s just not for everyone. I was a better mom for stopping when I did.

[Deleted User] · July 2021

+1 for wanted to nurse way longer, @makingbacon @JWatt5 but it didn't go down like that, and I refuse to let anybody make me feel bad about it. I wanted to nurse past a year if possible, but with both girls, my supply was such I found myself having to combo feed at 3 months, and by 6 months or so, I'm sure they were getting more formula than breastmilk. I pumped as much as I could, which was a lot more with DD because I was working, but when it was time to stop pumping for BG, I was glad to be done. I will never be one of those moms in danger of having an oversupply, or have a bountiful overflowing freezer stash, but I did the best I could both times. I also got my period back 38 days PP with both (exactly to the day, so weird) despite EBF, so... <shrug> Wouldn't be surprised that had something to do with it. Maybe some moms are built to nurse till the cows come home, and others are made to crank out more kiddoes. But there were so many factors that were out of my control, the guilt trip thing doesn't fly with me. To make matters worse, the one person that stands out to me with giving me this kind of "talk" was my BROTHER. His ex nursed his kids for like 3 or 4 years (maybe longer), captain of the leche league, the whole 9. He's trying to give ME advise like oh, I should have gotten more support or whatever, blah blah blah, till I finally told him how soon I got back MY RAG! And that shut him right up. Honestly. People need to just stay in their own lane with this stuff. lol

livingoffpbjs · July 2021

I dont get why people need to put their two cents in when it comes to others bfing journeys. No matter the choice, or even if it wasnt by choice we all just need support.

I was super salty the I had high lipase (I think that is what its called) and my child would not drink my pumped milk at all! Freezer full and she wouldnt touch it no matter what tricks we tried. Im happy I was able to give it to another Mom for her child, but I felt so defeated for all that work and she wouldnt drink it. Not only would she not take my pumped milk she wouldnt take a bottle. Like.... ever. Luckily my husband was a student so he would bring her to my work for an hour to eat in the middle of the day, otherwise she would just not drink anything for the 8 hours a day I would be gone. She had acid reflux and colic and was a velcro baby and bless my husband for being able to stay home with a baby that cried the ENTIRE eight hours I was gone every day. Took me a long time to convince him to have baby #2 lol

gardenvariety88 · July 2021

@livingoffpbjs wow, that sounds like such a tough journey. and so frustrating about the high lipase. i'm glad you were still able to find someone to use it but i'm sure that still left a sting.

@JWatt5 good for you for putting your mental health ahead of the BF pressure. i think that conversation should be happening a lot more in a lot of places

I know a lot of mamas to be here have been through it before, but man, for first time mamas it is a lot to process. I was sooooo casual about breastfeeding leading up to DS's birth, if it worked great, if not bring on the formula. But when he got here, oof. Since he was five weeks early he didn't nurse very well and I was on a cycle of nursing for 15 minutes, giving him a bottle, pumping for 20 minutes cleaning parts...rinse and repeat every three hours. I just couldn't handle it and switched to exclusive pumping around maybe a month old? I did that for a year and honestly I should have quit way before I did. I just felt so guilty about him being early and giving him breastmilk seemed like they only way I could make up for it so to speak (in retrospect, hello birth trauma). I was literally encouraging another mama in my life to do what was best for her mental health while I was sitting at home crying and obsessing over ounces.

Definitely trying to reframe this time around and have different expectations for myself, regardless of everyone else's opinions.

kaf1788 · July 2021

@gardenvariety88 yes it is soooooo different once you give birth and the hormones are pumping. I had a breast reduction back in college so I knew I likely wouldn't be able to produce enough breast milk. We were stocked up on formula well before I gave birth. And then in the early months it seemed like everywhere I went people were breastfeeding their newborns and I felt so inadequate and would literally like fake breastfeeding at cafes

(postpartum hormones are WEIRD). Of course later down the road when I actually got to know those other breastfeeding mamas I learned that basically all of them supplemented with formula in some capacity. I'm really really hoping that the second time around will be less intense!

[Deleted User] · July 2021

@gardenvariety88 Wow, so much yes. My experience may not have been quite so traumatic, my baby wasn't early lol (more like 11 days past) and resulted in an unplanned c-section. Due to infertility we didn't get the TTC experience I'd hoped for, I didn't get the birth experience I'd hoped for, I REALLY just wanted my BF experience to go the way I had hoped at least! Spoiler alert: None of it went according to plan, and it's all actually just fine, but in the mean time, I spent the whole first year clinging to what I thought was one final piece I could control. ha.

@livingoffpbjs Oh wow, bless your H. I struggled to find a bottle BG would accept, but luckily about the 6th one I tried finally worked. Or she gave up fighting it lol Not being able to get your baby to eat is about the most desperate awful feeling. I'm sorry you had such a struggle with her - But at least it does pass! So grateful now to be able to be on the other side of it looking back knowing now that you would get through it one way or another. I'm sure that other mom was so beyond grateful to be able to use that stash! <3

@kafi788 LOL That is so darn relate-able. It still stings sometimes at Church when I see other moms BF and I'm the one whipping out the bottle, but at the same time, I think most everyone is so caught up in doing their own thing that they don't have much time to dwell on what others are doing. It's easy to frame a whole thing in our minds based on one brief observation, when everyone has got their own reality behind the scenes. There's one amazing mom at Church who comes to mind, I see her happily nursing her newborn, only to look over and see her daughter giving a bottle to the other baby who is a twin, and realizing omg what an ordeal that must be trying to make sure your twins are fed, and trying to give them equal benefit. That was a moment for me when I no longer saw her as this mom who was BF and doing it, "better than me," but just another mama in the trenches doing it the best way she can.

tessiesmom26 · July 2021

@gardenvariety88 Your story sounds a lot like mine as well. DS was three weeks early, and was tiny and sleepy. He lost almost 10% of his birth weight in the hospital. We had to do daily weight checks to make sure he was gaining some back, while trying to get him to nurse, syringe feed pumped milk, then pump for 15 minutes, clean all the parts, and repeat in an hour. As much as I wanted so badly for nursing to work out, it just became so much more important to actually see what his intake was, so I switch to EP. I EPed for 9 months while also supplementing. I didn't have much of a stash, but had enough to give him little bits and he got his last frozen bag on his first birthday. This time around, while I hope to try to nurse this baby, I would actually be okay EPing again. Although I say that now and it all might change by the time it actually happens.

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